


COME BACK TO ME LITTLE BROTHER

by ncsupnatfan



Series: Non-SPN stories [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-04-07 02:34:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 67,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14071002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncsupnatfan/pseuds/ncsupnatfan
Summary: The Winchester family had a terrible loss and it tears the family apart. This story centers on Dean and what he does to try and piece it back together. In this universe, the only monsters are of the human kind. I have created several OCs for this story.





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: Before you start reading, let me say this is not my usual type of storyline. We have the Winchester family but no supernatural monsters in this universe. There are the well known characters and OC’s that I have developed just for this story. I’m trying to expand my writing and wanted to take a shot at a totally different kind of plot. Some may not like it, but I hope you will give it a read and offer your opinion. It’s not going to be a long story, so I’m making the chapters longer. Whether you like it or not, please take a moment to leave me a comment with your thoughts. NC

Disclaimer: Do not own Supernatural and this is of my own creation.

 

 

He shifted in the bus seat trying to get more comfortable as the huge, lumbering vehicle made its way down the highway. He had been traveling by bus for the past 24 hours and it was starting to get on his nerves. He never liked closed in, confined spaces and being trapped with this many strangers was not to his liking. At least the bus wasn't full and he could seat himself away from most of the other passengers. It seemed they sensed that this young man did not want to be disturbed and left him alone or it could be they were afraid of his hulking form and the uniform he wore. He was dressed in camouflage fatigues, combat boots and matching hat. He had no badges on his uniform to tell what branch of service he was in or what rank he had because it was all classified. His father had been a Marine and when he got out had courted his Mom and asked her to marry him. Several years after their marriage he had come alone and four years after that his kid brother joined the family. A very strong bond formed between the brothers from the very beginning. It was much stronger than what most siblings achieve in a lifetime. He looked out for his little brother, never shunning him or excluding him from anything he did. It was like the brothers could communicate without even talking; like they could sense each other's thoughts. The younger brother idolized his older brother and tried to be just like him. They were a happy family until one fall day when his mother and little brother were walking back from the library tragedy struck in the form of a stray bullet. She had been protecting her youngest son from the violence and paid the ultimate price. His mother had been killed in a drive by shooting when he was sixteen, just two months shy of his seventh birthday, and that changed his life forever. 

His father was never the same after it happened and his kid brother faded away, disappearing into the background. He had tried to help his younger brother after the shooting, but nothing he said or did seemed to get through to him. Dean was sure his brother blamed himself for their Mom’s death by some of the heated arguments they had had before he left. Sam turned moody, acted out, was belligerent, sulked and isolated himself as much as he could. Several times they had almost come to blows, but Dean stopped himself before that could happen. Their father tried, but his own grief overwhelmed him and he was of no help to either of his sons. Not able to take what was happening to his family any longer; he snuck away and joined the Marines. The young man had lied about his age and enlisted in the service when he was seventeen and now, eight years later he was heading to a home he didn’t know. When he left home the one thing he regretted was not being able to take Sam too. Dean had left a grief stricken, bitter, angry, chip on his shoulder teenager, but was returning a strong, confident, responsible, hard nosed Marine and a natural leader for his team. The first few weeks after getting out, he had wandered around the country trying to decide what he was going to do. He finally decided he couldn’t put it off any longer, that he needed to go see his Dad and brother and try to put his family back together again.

There had only been a few letters from home over the past eight years that he had been away. He actually received more from a family friend, Bobby Singer, than from his father and brother. He still remembered going to Bobby’s and playing with his younger brother among the stacks of wrecked vehicles. That was a much happier time in his life. He learned that his kid brother got into some trouble in their home town, Lawrence, Kansas, and they had moved to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, to live with Bobby. His father worked for him in his salvage yard and garage that he ran, but he knew nothing of his kid brother. He had a bad feeling that things were not good for him and he blamed himself for that. He wasn’t there for him, to protect him, guide him, teach him and that was something he was going to have to live with and hopefully change for the future. He looked up as the bus pulled off the main highway and eased into a rest area.

“Alright folks, you got a twenty minute break here to stretch your legs and get something from the machines.” the bus driver told them opening the door for those who wanted to get off. 

The young man waited for the others to depart before getting up and exiting the bus too. He headed for the restrooms first and then the machines to get something to drink and snack on. Several other passengers milled around the machines but gave the ex-soldier a wide berth as they got their purchases and headed back to the bus. He didn’t linger at the machines, but got his purchases and made his way back to the bus ever scanning his surroundings for any danger that might be lurking in the night. The habit was one of many instilled in him over the last eight years and was a habit that he didn’t think would ever be broken. He was on the last leg of his journey and expected to be pulling into Sioux Falls in the early morning hours. He didn’t know what awaited him there, if anything and took his seat once again getting settled for the rest of the ride.

spn

His eyes snapped open quickly and he was awake in the blink of an eye as the motion of the bus changed around him. It was slowing down and making several turns as it pulled into the station at Sioux Falls. He let his eyes wander over the outside area as the air brakes hissed and the bus rolled to a stop.

“Sioux Falls, thank you for traveling Grey Hound and we hope you will use our service again.” the driver announced as he stood and opened the door to allow them to exit. 

After everyone else got off, he made his way down the aisle and stepped from the bus waiting for the driver to open the compartments to get his duffle. He swung the heavy duffle and his rifle case over his shoulders and walked toward the more active part of town to get his bearings and hitchhike out to the salvage yard. Traffic was still light this early in the morning and he decided getting a ride might be a problem so he began to walk down the road toward his destination. The young soldier had only been walking for twenty minutes when the sound of a vehicle behind him had him stepping off the road onto the shoulder out of the way. He glanced back to see a sheriff’s car stopping and flipping on his lights. 

“Hello there soldier, where you headed?” a female voice asked as a deputy stepped up to the front of the car to look him over.

“Singer Salvage Yard; I hope I’m headed in the right direction.” he replied. “It's been a long time since I’ve been there.” 

“Well you are headed right, it’s about five more miles down this road and hang a right can’t miss it.” she told him. “How do you know Bobby Singer? You related to him?”

“He’s a family friend. My Dad and brother are staying with him.” 

“I think I’ve met him a while back, tall fellow, dark hair, serious attitude?”

“Yeah, that was probably him.”

“Well get in and I’ll give you a lift.” she offered.

“Oh no that’s ok Deputy. I don’t wanna bother you.” Dean said declining her offer.

“Nothing doing, you’ve been serving your country; the least I can do is drive you the five miles there. Now I insist.” she said in a put more authority in her voice. “You can put your things in the back.” 

“Yes ma’am.” he nodded a small smile crossing his face for a moment making him look younger than he was.

The deputy started her vehicle and pulled back onto the road, heading for the salvage yard. She didn’t try to make small talk with the soldier getting a sense he wasn’t one for small talk. He had a serious, determined look on his face and his eyes seemed haunted with unspeakable horrors that would never be spoken of. She had know other soldiers that had come back from overseas and knew it was sometimes hard for them to adjust to civilian life again. It didn’t take her long to turn onto the road that the salvage yard was on.

“You can drop me off here, save you from going all the way there.” he told her recognizing the area and knew Bobby’s was just down the road. 

“Suit yourself. You tell Bobby I said hello, name’s Jody Mills.” she said stopping on the side of the road to let him out.

“Thanks for the lift and I will. You have a good day Deputy Mills.” 

“The same to you.” she said watching the young man for a moment as he trudged down the road away from her.

spn

His steps slowed as he paused outside the entrance to Bobby’s. Drawing in a deep breath, he continued on wondering if anyone was up this early in the morning. If he remembered right, he thought Bobby was an early riser and the dim light shining from several windows proved him right. He took the three steps up to the porch and sat his duffle down before knocking on the door. Movement could be heard from inside as the door was jerked open and a grumpy looking older man glared at him. 

“Help ya?” he growled at the young man not recognizing him at first.

“Hey Bobby, it’s been a long time. Is my Dad and brother here?” he asked hoping he would remember him. 

The older man stared hard at the young man in front of him as the wheels in his brain began to turn trying to place him.

“Dean is that you?” he finally asked in a cautious voice. “Yer Dad said you joined up, glad you made it back in one piece. Gotta say you’re looking fit there boy.” he said taking in his strong physical appearance.

“Yes.” Dean replied giving him a crooked half smile. “Me too.”

“Well come on in, it’s good to see you son.” he said stepping aside for him to enter. 

Dean picked up his duffle and stepped into the house looking around for a moment before sitting his things down and following Bobby to the kitchen. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee still lingered in the air.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“Sounds good.” he said taking a seat at the table. “Black’s fine.”

“I was just getting ready to make breakfast, care to join me?”

“Is my Dad and brother still here?” Dean asked again getting a sense he was avoiding the question.

“They were here son.” Bobby said sadly. “You see, like I wrote to you, your brother got into some trouble back in Lawrence and John wanted to get him away from everything so I offered a place here. I hate to be the one to have to tell ya this. They were here up 'til 'bout two months ago. Sam ran away and John went after him. The last I heard from John was two weeks ago and I haven’t been able to get a hold of him since.” 

“What do you mean Sammy ran away?” Dean questioned sitting up more alert now. 

“That boy...He was so mixed up and confused and lost...John and I both tried to help him but he wouldn’t have anything to do with us. After you left it seems he got in with the wrong crowd and it changed him.” Bobby relayed sadly. “There were drugs involved and some gang problems.”

“Sonovabitch.” Dean spat out in disbelief, never dreaming things would be this bad. “Damn fool kid...What was he thinking?”

“That’s just it; I don’t think he was thinking straight. After yer Momma got killed and then you left it was too much for the boy and it didn’t help that yer Daddy was having his own issues with the loss.” Bobby tried to explain to the young man. “I called the cops there but they couldn’t find any leads.” 

“Do you have a car I could borrow for a while? I came in on a bus.” 

“Yeah, I think I got one you can use. It may not be a looker, but it’ll get ya there. The engine's still good.” 

“Alright, I need to make some calls, can I borrow your phone, don’t own one. Then I’m taking a nap. You still got twins in one of those bedrooms upstairs?”

“Yep, you’re welcome to it. Phone’s in my office off the living room. After I eat, I’ll be in the garage out back being sure that car‘s running ok. Help yerself to anything in the kitchen.”

“Thanks, I’ll be leaving out early in the morning.” he said getting up and heading for Bobby’s office.

spn

The bitter taste of the coffee still lingered in his mouth as he dropped into the office chair and rubbed his face with a rough, callused hand. This was not the homecoming he was expecting and now he had to find both his father and little brother. He picked up the phone and dialed a number from memory, waiting for it to connect and transfer through two more servers before it started to ring. On the third ring a male voice answered the call.

“I don’t know how you got this number but lose it.” 

“Chill Trace I need your help.” Dean said before he could hang up. 

Trace was one of the Marines that he had worked with the last five years he served. He had been given a team of the best of the best for the missions they were assigned. Trace was a computer genus and the best tracker Dean had ever seen; Nitro was an explosive expert and their medic, Shadow was a master of deception and could break into anything with a lock and Dean, the leader of the group, was a sniper of the highest caliber and the planner for the team. He could sort through the best scenarios for a mission with the efficiency of a dozen other experts. His team teased him that he had a computer for a brain. They were all experts at hand to hand combat, using numerous weapons and quickly learned each others quirks and how to work together as one unit. Together they made a team that was deadly and called upon for the most dangerous black ops missions that civilians would never know about. The team had been code named Smoke because they could infiltrate, accomplish their mission and disappear like a puff of smoke. These four soldiers were heroes in every sense of the word, rescuing and saving numerous people, but there would be no recognition bestowed on them for their bravery since records of their missions were top secret and flagged from the records. These three comrades in arms became Dean’s team and his family. 

“Gunny! How ya doing?” Trace asked, the tone of his voice changing to one of friendship and respect.

“You know, trying to adjust. Look I need you to check something out for me.”

“Anything, you know that.”

“It seems my father and little brother have gone missing and I need you to see what you can find out. Start in Lawrence, Kansas, that‘s where they were last seen.”

“Names?”

“John and Sam Winchester.”

“Give me a few hours and I’ll get back to you.” 

“Can you email it to a friend’s address?”

“Sure thing, give it to me.”

“Singersalvageyard.com, all one word.” Dean rattled off. “I can be reached at this number today, I’m heading out early in the morning for Lawrence.” 

“You know you need to get a cell bro, or at least an email address; it’d make things easier.”

“Not happening, be waiting to hear from you and Trace, no footprints.” Dean cautioned him. 

“Anything for a brother in arms and don‘t worry ‘bout me, never been found yet.” Trace said proudly.

“Thanks brother.” 

Dean hung up and when he got a dial tone again, he dialed another number listening to it ring. 

“Yeah?” a female voice grunted out of breath.

“Hey Little Wolf, blown anything up lately?” Dean purred into the phone a quirky smile on his face and affection in his voice. After their first mission together, he had given her that nickname that only he used. She was cunning, strong, a thinker and could be very deadly when provoked. 

“What do you think Gunny? How’s it going?” Nitro replied in her smooth, silky voice that Dean remembered so well. “Good timing, I just came in from a run.”

“Lucky me. Look if I need some backup in a few days are you game?” 

“Do you even have to ask Gunny? Tell me where and when and I’ll be there.” she answered a bit of excitement showing in her voice.

“Think you can track Shadow down for me and see if he’s up for one more mission?”

“Of course I can and you already know what his answer will be. How ‘bout Trace? Do I need to contact him?”

“No, already talked to him. Thanks, I may be seeing you soon.”

“Will do Gunny, we’ll come fully loaded.”

“That’s my girl.”

spn

The bedroom was as he remembered, except the beds had different spreads on them. He scanned the room and saw remnants of his brother scattered around it. There was a rumpled tee shirt tossed in a corner, a couple of books laying on the nightstand and some bathroom things sitting on the dresser. His heart tightened in his chest, making it hard to breathe as he wondered what had happened to his baby brother and his Dad. The guilt was weighing heavily on him but he pushed it aside knowing it wouldn't do them any good. He needed to bring his A game out and find out what happened to them. He sat his things down and went to the bed nearest the door sitting down on it to stare at the other twin bed. Knowing there was nothing he could do here, he stretched out on the bed and pulled in a couple of deep breaths before closing his eyes and letting his body shut down, but not completely off. Once a Marine always a Marine and you never completely turn it off. His breathing slowed and his body rested but his mind kept on working. He set his internal clock to wake in four hours and listened to the new sounds surrounding him, getting a feel for the place once again. 

spn

Bobby looked up when he heard footsteps on the stairs four and a half hours later. He sized Dean up as he strolled into the room, hair still damp from a shower and now in jeans, tee shirt and button up over shirt. Dean made a bee line for the coffee pot and poured a cup for himself. 

“Making me a sandwich for lunch, you want one?” he asked as he added cheese and the second piece of bread to his. 

“I can make my own.” Dean said moving to the counter where the makings were. “Don’t want anyone waiting on me.” he added looking over the food for a moment before assembling his own sandwich. 

“I printed out some things from my email for you. It’s on the table.”

“Right, had a friend check some things out. Hope you don’t mind me using your email, don’t have one of my own.”

“It’s fine, do I want to know how you got that stuff?” he questioned cautiously.

“Probably not.” he replied in a soft, sure voice.

“There’s tea or beer in the fridge if you like.”

“Thanks.” he mumbled.

It had been a very long time since Bobby had seen Dean and he studied him closely catching the military stance and tension in his body language. This was not the same quiet boy he remembered from visits in the past. He could see the hooded secrets in his eyes and wondered just what he did in the military. The few letters he received from the young man never hinted to anything, but he knew from the postmarks that Dean was overseas most of his tour.

“So...What have you been doing these past years?”

“This and that, whatever my mission was.” Dean replied trying to be as vague as he could. “Most was classified and I can’t talk about it.”

“I see, so...How long ya been out?”

“Not long.” he shrugged not giving any further details.

“So what ya plan on doing?” Bobby questioned.

“I’m gonna go find my family.” he offered as an answer as he joined Bobby at the table with a sandwich and beer. 

Bobby saw the steely harshness and darkness that came over Dean’s features before it changed and wondered just what he did do in the service. He could see an unworried, almost friendly look, but looking closer he could see a bleak, very dangerous expression along with wisdom and primitive, somewhat predatory nature. He emitted the air of a very dangerous man that you did not want to cross and Bobby felt sure if anyone could find the missing Winchesters it would be this young man. 

“Anything I can do to help, you just have to tell me.” Bobby stated in a serious, determined voice. 

“I appreciate that.” Dean answered giving Bobby a quick glance before looking back at his beer and taking a sip. He was moved that Bobby wanted to help, but what he might have to do needed to be done without an audience. 

“Got that car for ya. It’s gassed and ready to go.” 

"Thanks, I'll be heading out early in the morning. Can't say when I'll get it back to you, but I will."

"Don't never mind, use it as long as you need son."

"While I'm going over this information, mind if I throw a load of clothes in?"

"Hell no, we may not have seen each other in a while, but think of this as your home too. Use whatever you need."

"I'll be leaving most of my things here so I can travel light."

"They'll be right where you leave them. Just do me one favor."

"Sure Bobby what?"

"Will you keep in touch and let me know what's going on?"

"I will do my best." he said with a brief nod. "I'm gonna get those dirty clothes and get that done." 

"You should find everything you need on the shelf above the washer and dryer." Bobby commented watching the young man head for the stairs as a heaviness settled over his heart. 

spn

"You be careful out there son, no telling what you might run into." Bobby told Dean as he settled into the driver's seat of the Chevy. Bobby was right, it wasn’t much to look at, but when he cranked it he could hear the smooth running engine come to life.

“Don’t worry I will and I’ll be in touch.” Dean replied backing out and heading for the road. He had already mapped the trip out and figured it would take about six hours or so to get to Lawrence. He headed for Interstate 29 that was a straight shot south and what he would be traveling most of the way. It still felt off to him being out of the service, but he knew it was time. If he was completely honest with himself, some little seed of concern started blossoming about two months ago that his little brother was in trouble and he needed to help him. By what Bobby had said that was about the time Sam disappeared. Not knowing what type of welcome he would get from his Dad and brother, Dean packed up his meager belongings and started making his way toward Sioux Falls. 

From what he had read in the information Trace had sent, it seemed both of them had vanished without a trace. There had been no credit card activity, cell phones turned off, no social media activity, nothing to show what had happened to them. The last contact of any kind was his Dad calling Bobby from Lawrence a couple of weeks ago and that was it. At least he had a starting point; Trace had found information about the gang Sam had gotten mixed up with. They called themselves the Propios del Diablo, the Devil’s Own and from what the report said they had pretty much taken over Lawrence from the other small gangs in the area. He was already working on a plan on how to get to the supposedly boss and extract what he needed. He didn’t spend five years being invisible to not of learned a few tricks along the way. 

spn

A brewing storm hit when Dean was over halfway to Lawrence engulfing the landscape in a heavy downpour that made visibility tricky. Dean kept a steady speed and concentrated on the traffic around him not wanting to end up in any fender benders. He found a radio station to check the weather wanting to see what it was like ahead of him. It looked like the storm was moving eastward and wasn’t dipping down far enough to hit Lawrence so he hoped to run out of it soon. He was making good time since the traffic was light that time of the morning, but he was cautious not to speed. He didn’t want to explain the weapons he was carrying in the trunk if the cops were to search the vehicle. After another forty miles, Dean could see a break in the clouds and the rain had lessened considerably making the driving easier. He was going to need gas soon and to hit the head so he hoped to be out of the rain by the time he needed to stop. 

A few rays of sunlight escaped from around the rolling grey clouds ahead of him almost like a guiding light to show him the way. Dean caught a glimpse of a rainbow off to the left and hoped that was a good omen. The rain had finally let up now and he saw a sign for a truck stop five miles down the road and decided it was as good a place as any to stop for gas and a short break. He wanted to call Trace and have him check out a notion that had come to him earlier.

The truck stop was fairly busy as he eased the car up to the pumps and got out to fill her with gas. Once that task was done, Dean found a parking spot off to the side of the entrance and parked. He got out and headed inside, first to the restrooms and then to the cafe that was next door to get something to eat. He had found these eating joints usually had decent food and a good selection. He waited to be seated opting for a booth away from the other patrons. He ordered coffee and quickly looked through the menu while the waitress went to get him a cup of coffee. When she returned, he ordered the breakfast special with extra bacon. He had always had a weakness for bacon, even at an early age. Dean watched the patrons around him without really watching and waited for his food to arrive. He didn't have to wait long and dug into the food, nodding to the waitress when she asked if he would like a refill on coffee. He ate quickly, not able to break old habits of the last five years when at times he didn't know when he would be eating again. Anxious to get back on the road, he signaled the waitress for his check and pulled some money from his pocket. Once he looked at the total, Dean laid money on the table adding a tip before getting up and heading for a sign stating phones.

Dean fished money from his jean's pocket and fed it into a pay phone and punched in a number. After four rings a male voice answered.

"I'm guessing that's you Gunny, no one else would be using a pay phone in this day and age." Trace grunted.

"Yep, just had a thought that you need to check out before I get to Lawrence."

"I'm listening."

"Check the locals, DEA, FBI, anyone that might have planted a mole in that gang. Don't wanna be shot by a good guy or accidentally take him out."

“Good one, I’ll get right on it. Give me a couple of hours.”

“Thanks bro, I owe you.” 

“I’d say I still owe you Gunny, but I’m not keeping score.” he said hanging up on Dean to get to work.

Dean huffed at his statement and hung up the phone. He went through the store and got a couple bottles of water, jerky, nuts and added a slice of pie. With his bag in hand, he headed back to the car to continue his journey toward Lawrence.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for taking the time to read the first chapter. I wasn’t sure how the story would be received since I’ve not written one like it before. I hope you enjoy the longer chapters and it keeps your interest in the story. I hope you like the new characters I have created in this ‘verse and feel they fit right in there with Dean. I do like to know your thoughts and hope you will leave me a comment. NC

 

The streets of Lawrence hadn’t changed much in all the time Dean had been gone. There were some new businesses and a couple of small strip malls open now in what used to be vacant lots. It was lunchtime and the traffic was heavier than normal. Dean drove around the small town and by the house that he used to live in. He noticed that the poorer sections of the town were more rundown and he spotted the dealers cruising the streets. He wasn’t sure if they were from the gang he was looking for or not but he would find out soon.   
Heading back toward the side of town where the bars were, Dean drove slowly checking out what was open before finding a place that looked safe to park. He got out being sure his hand gun wasn’t showing and the other weapons were positioned for easy access. He grabbed a ball cap off the seat and settled it on his head as he glanced around for security cameras not wanting to be caught on any of them. 

He made his way down the street checking everything out so he could get a lay of the land when he came back later tonight. He had made it halfway down the block when a car pulling into a parking lot caught his eye. The ‘67 black Impala glistened in the sunlight from what looked like a recent wash, but not a full detail job had been done. He headed for the car wondering how many of them could be in the area. His father’s pride and joy had been a car just like that. He had bought it off a used car lot when he got back from his stint with the Marines and right before he proposed marriage to Mary, Dean’s mother. The creep that got out of the car glared at Dean as he approached the car. 

A tingle went up Dean’s back the closer he got to the car. He looked into the front interior and a beat up old shoe box sitting in the passenger side wheel well caught his eye. His whole body suddenly stiffened as he clenched his jaw tightly and turned a menacing stare toward the guy.

“What the f--k you looking at?” the creep spat at him daring him to say anything. 

Dean didn’t pay any attention to the guy as he reached and jerked open the back passenger door to look inside. There was trash and fast food wrappers littering the floorboard and backseat. He looked at the ashtray and saw the green toy army man still stuck in it from where Sam had crammed it all those years ago.

“Hey! Asshole what the hell, leave my car alone!” the man yelled confronting Dean and pushing him away from the car. 

“Where’d you get this car?” Dean asked him in a dangerous, hard voice. 

“I don’t have to tell you shit, now beat it or I’ll...” he started moving his jacket to show a hand gun stuffed in the waistband of his jeans.

The man didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence because Dean had one hand fisting the front of his shirt and the other gripping his throat in a vise like grip as he bore him backward until he slammed into the brick wall of the building stunning him. He jerked the gun from the guy’s jeans, ejected the clip and bullet in the chamber before tossing the gun toward a dumpster and the clip in the opposite direction. Before the guy could run, Dean had him pinned back to the wall getting right in his face when he asked again.

“Where. Did. You. Get. The. Car.” Dean asked again, hardness and power exaggerating each word as he squeezed his hand tightly around the guy’s throat for a moment before allowing him to breath.

“Are you crazy?” the man wheezed trying to get his breathe as he stared wide eyed at Dean while trying to bat his hand from his throat. 

“Where!!!” he growled jerking his body forward and slamming it back against the wall hard, bouncing his head off it.

“I...I...Bought it...This guy....Few weeks ago.” he stammered trying to hold himself up by clinging to Dean‘s arms now. His legs were rubbery and he was seeing double as he blinked rapidly.

“What’s the name?” 

“Don’t know, Benson I think. Yeah, that’s it George Benson, works at moving company across town.” 

“Hey this guy bothering you?” a new deep, male voice asked from nearby.

“Yeah he agh!...” he tried to say as Dean cut him off with the tightening of his fingers. 

“Move on, this isn’t your concern.” Dean told the other guy turning slightly to see him and then another joined him. They were standing at the entrance to a bar about twenty feet away. 

“He’s a buddy, so I’m making it my damn business f---er.” he threatened stepping toward Dean.

Dean sized up the two guys and the one he was holding against the wall determining he could take them out without breaking a sweat. A third guy joined the other two and they started toward him when a shrill whistle from behind him broke the silence around them. A smug smile twitched on Dean’s lips because he knew who the whistle came from. 

“Hi ya One, trying to have some fun without us?” Shadow asked as he stepped up behind Dean joined by Nitro. The team never used names, even their code names when on a mission or in public. They called Dean One and he called them Two, Three and Four; Nitro, Trace and Shadow, respectfully. They were extremely careful to hide their identity whenever possible because they all liked staying under the radar and being anonymous.

“I told you he wouldn’t wait.” Nitro complained looking at the three tattooed, grungy, biker looking guys mumbling between themselves trying to decide what they were going to do. 

“Two, Four, nice to see you.” Dean commented before turning back to the guy in his grasp. “I know the owner of this car and he would not sell it for any amount of money. So you better think real hard on the answer to my next question. Understand?” 

The guy managed to nod yes as terror of what Dean might do had him shaking uncontrollably. His feet were barely touching the ground as he worked on drawing air into his lungs. 

“Do you know anything about what happened to the owner of this car?”

“No....” he whispered his voice raw and raspy. “I swear....Thought it was cool ride...”

“Keys and your cell.” 

The man fumbled in his pants pocket and pulled out the keys and his cell holding them out to him. Dean took the keys seeing a familiar charm on the ring knowing for sure this was his Dad’s car. He pocketed the cell deciding to give it to Trace to extract any information he could off it.

“I’m not taking this car; you’re giving it to me correct?”

“Yes...” he nodded vigorously deciding it was better to give up the car than anger this dangerous man any more than he was.

“Name of moving company this Benson works for.” 

“Mover’s Inc.” 

“Get out of here.” he told the guy shoving him away toward the other three guys. Dean was going to question the gang boss to see if this Benson worked for him to figure out how he got the car in the first place. If he didn’t then Dean needed to pay a visit to this Benson fellow and see what he knows.

“Do something!” he complained to the men who were still milling around outside the bar. 

“I really wouldn’t advise that.” Nitro cautioned them shaking her head and giving them a sly smile. She twirled a nasty looking knife between her fingers as she started to hum while still looking at the men.

“Awe come on, I promise not to break too many bones.” Shadow whined taking a step toward the others who quickly backed away when they saw the crazy, enjoyment on his face.

“Let’s get out of here.” one guy told the others.

“Sorry Vince you’re on your own.” another said before stepping back to the entrance of the bar to go inside. 

Vince took one more look at Dean and his friends and turned scurrying away with one final look over his shoulder. 

spn

Dean turned back to the car and ran a hand lovingly over the top of her before closing the back door. He went around to the trunk and opened it checking out what was inside. He found a bag with clothes in it that could be his Dad’s and more trash. 

“What are you guys doing here?” he asked closing the trunk and turning to his ex-team mates. He gave Shadow a handshake and brief shoulder bump, but didn’t offer the same to Nitro since she didn’t like being touched by anyone. No one knew her story, but they respected her and didn't let it change how they treated her. She was a valuable member of the team and pulled her own weight and more.

“I talked to Trace and we decided you were going to need help and there wasn’t any use waiting around for you to contact us.” Nitro shrugged like there wasn't any other choice in the matter. “We were the closest to help out.”

“Trace is on his way, should be here mid afternoon.” Shadow added. "He's further away."

“I got a couple of rooms at a motel not far away. Figured we’d need a command post.” 

“Did you drive over here?” Dean asked them.

“Yes.”

“Can one of you drive that Chevy over there to the motel and I’ll drive this one?” he asked holding out the other keys.

“No problem. I got this.” Shadow offered taking the offered keys.

“What’s the name of the motel? I wanna take her to a car wash and clean her up.” 

“Comfort Suites over on Bowling Street.” Nitro replied. “Rooms 15 and 16.” 

“Got it, you guys go on and I’ll be there shortly.” 

spn

Dean pulled into a car wash only a couple of miles from the motel and stopped at the vacuum machine. He got out and fished around in his pockets for some change and laid the coins on a flat surface before opening the back door of the car. He wrinkled his nose in disgust as he began to clean the trash out tossing it into the trash can thinking his Dad would have a heart attack if he saw her like this. Once that was done, he dropped a couple of quarters into the slot and pulled the hose down to begin vacuuming the interior out. He went over it three times; trying to be sure he got everything. Dean walked over to a vending machine and got wipes for the windshield and interior. Once he was satisfied she was as clean as he could get it, he went around to the trunk to clean it out. He sat the small duffle into the backseat and removed the other junk, throwing it away. Nothing looked important enough to keep so he got rid of it all. After he vacuumed the trunk, Dean got back in the Impala and headed for the motel to meet up with the others; they had some planning to do. 

spn

Shadow and Nitro turned toward the door when a sharp double knock alerted them of a visitor. Both picked up weapons as Nitro made her way to the door and unlocked it before stepping back and calling out.

"Enter." she commanded pointing her gun at the door as Shadow covered her. 

The door opened slowly as Dean held his hands up and waited for Nitro to lower her gun before stepping into the room.

"Stand down guys." he said closing the door behind him. 

"Take a seat and have a cold one Gunny." Shadow invited waving his hand to the table that had beer bottles sitting on it. Two were opened and the other four were still in the cardboard carton.

"Thanks." he said sitting his pack down and moving to the table to sit in the empty chair. Dean pulled a beer from the carton twisting off the cap to take a sip. He didn't speak to the other two as his mind whirled with the past events. A worried expression was pasted on his face as he thought about his father and wondered what had happened to him. Finding his car like he did wasn't a good sign. His mood was quickly picked up by the other two who looked at each other before Nitro spoke.

"Gunny, you ok?" she asked gently. If he would talk to anyone it would be her. Trace and Shadow learned early on that Nitro seemed to have a soothing influence over Dean. There had never been any romantic interest between them over the years of working together, but they were still close. When he didn't answer her, she pushed on, "Whose car was that?" 

"My Dad's." Dean finally replied staring hard at his beer bottle while he peeled the label from the bottle. "It was his pride and joy. He bought it just before marrying my Mom. My brother and me thought of it as a second home. We spend many an hour playing in her when we were small. She was part of the family; we called her Baby. There's no way he gave that car up without a fight..." he trailed off not wanting to say what he was thinking.

"You're thinking the worse aren't you?" Shadow questioned casting a sideways glance at Dean while waiting for him to respond.

"Bobby said the last he heard from my Dad was around two weeks ago. Pretty much fits what that douche bag said. Did you pack some persuasion serum Little Wolf?”

“Never leave home without it.” she chuckled giving him a supportive smile. Nitro squeezed his hand  
for a second before pulling away to sip her beer. She didn't like being touched, but there were times she would instigate the action.

“Good, when Trace gets here we’ll see what he has and get a plan in place for tonight.”

“I’ll see where he’s at.” Nitro said pulling her cell out and quickly typing on it and hitting send. “Really need to get a cell Gunny.” 

“Nope. Never had one no reason to start now.”

Nitro picked her cell back up when it chirped and looked at the text. 

“Trace is ahead of schedule, says he’ll be here in less than two hours. I sent him the address and room number.”

“Here’s what he found so far.” Dean said laying the papers on the table for them to read. He got up and headed for the bathroom without looking back. He knew they would comb through the data and be able to tell him what he might have missed. It was good to have more than one set of eyes going over the details to eliminate any errors or dangers. Dean relieved himself and washed his hand, then splashed cold water on his face before looking at his reflection in the mirror. A haggard face that had seen more than its share of killings stared back at him. He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly before taking a towel to dry his face and head back into the other room. 

“Gonna see if I can catch a quick nap.” he said before stepping into the other room through the adjoining door. He didn’t wait for them to answer, not really needing one. There were two queen size beds in each room for them to use. He sat down on the side of the bed and unlaced his boots to kick them off and pulled his hand gun from the small of his back, letting it rest on the bed beside him before stretching his long frame out and staring absently up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and tried not to picture his Dad and little brother laying dead in a ditch somewhere or shallow grave never to be found. He fought to push that image out of his mind and forced himself to think more positive. There was still a chance even if it was a slim one. Dean had never been a religious man and wasn’t sure if he even believed in a higher power, but right now he said a silent prayer to anyone that might be listening to please keep his family safe until he could find them. He threw his arm over his eyes to block out the light and let his body relax and rest. 

spn

It was nearly two hours later that Dean sat up in his bed wide awake knowing the last member was near and would be showing up shortly. None of the team could ever figure out how he had a sixth sense and seemed to know their whereabouts before they showed up. Dean rubbed his face and shook his body, shaking off the weariness from his body. He got up sock footed and wandered back into the other room to find Nitro and Shadow lounging on the beds watching the television.

“Trace is almost here.” he informed them snagging a water from the table to sip on and wet his dry mouth. 

“You know that still gives me the creeps how you do that.” Shadow commented. 

“You should be used to it by now.” Nitro said rolling her eyes at Shadow before sitting up in her bed. “Gunny has always known things before they happened.”

Before he could respond a rapping sounded at the door and a voice called out.

“Hey open up so this party can get started.” the absent member of the team fussed. 

Dean stepped to the door and unlocked it allowing Trace to stroll in and join them. 

“Alright! The gangs all here!” he exclaimed grabbing Dean’s outstretched hand to shake it and heading for the bed to punch fists with Shadow and to bow to Nitro in a gentlemanly fashion.

“Good to see you bro.” Shadow greeted him. “There’s a cold one in the fridge if you need to quench your thirst.”

“Now you’re talking.” he nodded heading for the mini fridge.

“Did you find out any more about this gang and if there’s an undercover agent with them?” Dean questioned getting down to business.

“As a matter of fact I did.” he said producing some folded pages from his computer bag. “One Kyle Richardson, DEA, has been undercover with them for nearly a year. I’ve got a picture here so we don’t accidentally shoot him.”

“Yeah that wouldn’t be advisable.” Nitro agreed picking up the color print and studying it before passing it alone to Shadow. They both memorized the man’s face before handing it on to Dean. He took it and looked at the man’s face committing it to memory too before laying it on the table with the other pages. 

“Alright let’s work out the details of this job and then we’ll go have dinner.” Dean told them gathering all the papers together and hunting the layout of the building the gang used as their main base. “I figure hitting them at two am will catch them off guard.”

“We’ll even have time for a quick nap.” Trace commented yawning widely and stretching his tired body. 

The three team members pulled up chairs and gathered around the table to listen to Dean’s plans and to give their advice or point out something that was missed. None felt superior over another team member and they treated each other as equals. Each knew their own strengths and weaknesses and used them for the betterment of the team. Maybe that’s why they meshed together so well and could anticipate the others actions without verbal commands when out in the field. They weren’t nicknamed Smoke as a joke. 

spn

The Smoke team sat around a table toward the back of the diner where they could see the rest of the room. None of them ever let their guard down even thought they were not in the military anymore. The intense training that they had gotten could not be forgotten overnight, if ever. 

“Does it feel like we kind of stand out in here?” Shadow mumbled letting his eyes survey the other customers in the room. Most were much older than any of them and there were couples with only a few sitting by themselves.

“They’re here for the early bird specials.” Dean shrugged as he sipped his tea. “The elderly take advantage of it.”

“As they should; if you ask me, the elderly are overlooked or discarded in this country.”

“I agree, we don’t take care of our own.” Trace added.

“If everyone’s done we should head back and relax or grab some sleep until it’s time to leave.” Dean announced signaling for the waitress to get the check. 

“What’s the split?” Shadow asked reaching for money.

“I got this, it’s the least I can do.” Dean said refusing his money as he picked up the check. “None of you were obligated to come help me with this so I owe you.” He pulled some money out and dropped it on the table with the check.

“I’ve got the tip then.” he insisted.

“Yeah Gunny, let us pitch in.” Nitro told him looking at the total and plucking a ten from the money Dean put down and giving it back to him. “Ok three dollars each should do it.” she said to the others as she laid down some money waiting for Trace and Shadow to do the same. 

“If you insist.” he huffed knowing it was better to give in to Nitro than to argue with her. When he first met her, he thought she could be the poster girl for an Amazon warrior. She was taller than most women with raven black hair that hung well past her shoulders and rich, brown eyes speckled with gold that almost glowed when the light hit them just right. She was a looker to most men but never encouraged their advances. No one took advantage of her due to her training and the three Marines who had her back. She had told him about her Native American heritage and her summers spent with her grandparents who were full blooded Apache and Shoshoni. She learned of the old ways and customs and their languages since she was so intrigued by her lineage. 

“I gotta say that was mighty tasty Gunny.” Trace sighed patting his stomach as they got up. 

“Yeah, the place hasn’t changed much over the years. I use to come here with my family.” Dean replied leading the group toward the front door. “About the only thing changed is the wait staff has got younger.”

“I can see that.” Shadow mumbled checking out a cute blonde walking toward the kitchen. 

“Put your eyes back in your head lover boy.” Nitro teased him.

“Hey! There’s no crime in looking.” 

“As long as that’s all you do. I saw that little scrap of paper passed to you by our waitress.” Trace said adding fuel to the fire. 

“Didn’t we all.” Nitro laughed as she punched Shadow in the arm.

“Ow! Don’t bruise the merchandise.” he complained. “Gunny...”

“You’re on your own, not getting in the middle of that. You know she always wins.” Dean chuckled, glad to see the lightheartedness of his ex-team when they didn’t know what lay ahead of them.

“He’s right, now c’mon and let’s get rid of our rentals since Dean has two cars now.” she told the guys walking away from them.

spn

“Alright, you guys can take this room and Gunny and I will use the other.” Nitro instructed them as they stepped into one of the rooms. 

“Everyone get some rest. We’ll pack up and head out at 12:30 so we can scout the area. Bring everything we won’t be coming back here.”

“Will do Gunny. Dibs on bathroom first.” Shadow said as he scooted quickly into it before Trace could move.

"Hey!" Trace complained with being out maneuvered by Shadow. “I drove the longest, I should have first dibs.”

“Play nicely boys.” Dean grunted shaking his head at the two before going through the adjourning door to the other room. Sometimes he felt like their father even thought they were all within a few years age of each other. 

Nitro was standing in the bathroom doorway with a toothbrush hanging from her mouth and a silly smirk on her face. It was good to have the team back together again. She giggled again and turned back to finish her routine so Dean could have his turn. 

“You know they haven’t changed since the last time we were together.” she commented when she came out of the bathroom. 

“Neither have you Little Wolf.” 

“Awe....You noticed.” she cooed settling on a bed and pulling out the pillows so she could use them. She pulled the comforter over her body and relaxed, closing her eyes to slits so she could watch Dean. She knew he was hurting and worried and it weighted heavily on him that his family had disappeared. No matter how much he tried to hide his feelings, she seemed to be sensitive to them. Dean had always told her she had the shine and she never denied it, but didn’t elaborate about it either. Nitro heard him come back into the room and tracked his progress to the other bed and watched him drop onto it. She didn’t say anything as he rolled to his side away from her and stilled. When he didn’t move again, she let her eyes close and let the calmness spread through her.

spn

At 12:10 Dean opened his eyes and was wide awake. He lay there for a moment before sitting up looking to the other bed seeing Nitro was sitting up looking his way. He got up and heard movement from the other room as the others woke up and started getting ready. 

“You good?” Dean asked Nitro as they both got up and went to their bags for the clothes they would need for tonight. Neither was modest as they began to strip in front of each other and redress in all black. Once they were finished in the bathroom and had their bags packed, they joined Trace and Shadow in the other room. Both men were dressed identical to them and looked their way as they walked in.

“We’re good to go.” Shadow said checking his hand gun and stowing it in his bag. 

“Here’s the keys for the Chevy, she may not be pretty but she can move.” Dean told him handing over the keys. “We’ll find a place to hide the cars and go in on foot. Do we have the equipment we need?”

“And then some.” 

“Let’s rock and roll bitches.” Trace stated zipping his bag and tossing it over his shoulder.

“You heard him.” Dean said picking his bags up and heading out the door. He went to the Impala and opened the trunk to stow the bags and waited for Nitro to put hers in before closing it. They had already stowed the equipment from the rentals in both cars so they could head out as soon as they were done here.

Dean cranked up the Impala and stopped for a moment listening to her rumble as a wave of memory swept over him. He cleared his throat squashing down those memories and put the car in gear to head out. Glancing in the mirror, he made sure the other car was following them and headed across town to the address that was supposed to be the main headquarters for the Propios del Diablo, The Devil‘s Own.

spn

Dean pulled back behind an empty building two blocks from their destination. The Chevy stopped beside the Impala and everyone got out. They went to the trunks of the cars and began to gear up. Each put on bullet proof vest, checked their guns, pocketed extra ammo, strapped on knives and two stored throwing stars in side pockets. Dean slipped on a small backpack with special items he would need if Sam was not in the building. Everyone positioned communication devices in their ears and then slipped lightweight, black hoods with cutouts for the eyes over their heads so their identity wouldn’t be known. They had specially made gloves that fit like a second skin so they wouldn’t leave any fingerprints at the scene to give away their identity. 

“Sound off radio check.” Dean whispered looking to the three ex-soldiers.

“Two, check.” Nitro answered.

“Three, check.” Trace followed.

“Four, check.” Shadow ended.

“Ok watch for the cop. Night vision goggles on, stay in the shadows; only kill if no other choice. Don’t need to leave a string of dead bodies behind.” Dean ordered falling right back into the roll of leader. “Let’s move out.” 

spn

The four members of Smoke moved silently down an alley, blending into the shadows and the night. No one was on the streets this early in the morning, so they met no resistance along the way. Dean held up a hand for them to halt just outside the six foot wire fence around the property. He scanned the grounds and waited patiently looking for any sentries that might be outside. 

“Thermal.” he mumbled and Nitro pulled out a small handheld device and pointed it toward the building.

“Concentration on lower level, two different rooms, two singles near the door and two on the second level.” she reported.

“Outside, over to the right.” Dean nodded at the glow of a cigarette shining in the darkness.

“Got another one at that corner.” Trace added. 

“Shadow, Trace.” Dean nodded signaling for them to split up and take out the guards. 

Dean and Nitro stayed in the shadows watching and waiting for the other team members to do their thing. Dean could just make out Shadow blending into the darkness as he crept up on the unsuspecting guard. He let his tall frame rise up behind the guard and quickly wrapped an arm around his neck squeezing hard until the guy hung limp in his arms. He pulled the guy back into the dark shadows of the building using zip ties and gag to keep the guard down. He took the guy’s weapons, tossing them back into a dumpster before moving back to the corner of the building to see how Trace was doing.

Trace hid behind some wooden boxes as he zeroed in on his target just ahead of him. The guard was smoking and not really paying attention to his surroundings. He quietly laid his automatic weapon on a box as he moved closer. He picked up a small rock and chucked it gently out from him to get the guard’s attention so he could take him out. The guard stiffened and pulled his gun up stepping from the wall of the building to investigate. In one quick motion Trace hit him hard, taking him down. Trace pulled the body behind a crate and tied and gagged him after relieving him of his weapons. He went back to the front of the building and signaled his success before heading for the gate to let the others in. He quickly overrode the keypad for the gate and watched as it silently slid open allowing Dean and Nitro to enter. Trace smashed the pad so the gate couldn’t be shut on them and joined up with the others.

The four team members moved silently to the front wall of the building and waited for Trace to override the alarm system so they could go in. Dean signaled to them on how to handle the guards inside before opening the door and slipping inside, followed by the others. Nitro stayed by Dean’s side to have his back just like any other mission they had been on. Shadow and Trace were in sync and went after the second guard knowing they had to take him out before he alerted anyone. 

“It’s him.” Nitro mumbled as she got a look at the face of the guard Dean had in a strangle hold. 

“Sorry dude, we know you’re undercover but we can’t risk you exposing us.” Dean whispers into the guy’s ear before putting enough pressure to knock him out. They gag and tied his hands and carried him into a small closet nearby out of the way so he wouldn‘t get hurt. “We got the upstairs.” 

“I’ll dose the first room.” Trace said pulling a canister from his pack and heading for the room. He was going to use knock out gas to take out the gang members sleeping in a room down the hall. Using the gas would eliminate the guards waking up and possibly having a shootout with them. 

“I’ll check the other one out.” Shadow nodded heading deeper into the house while Dean and Nitro headed upstairs figuring the big boss was up there where the large bedrooms were. They each had their assignments to carry out and did so with confidence and expertise.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean and Nitro made their way toward a staircase that led to the second level. They walked cautiously, testing each step before putting their full weight on them. When they made it to the top, Dean motioned for Nitro to hang back incase of any stragglers that might be around. With the silence of a spirit, Dean stopped at a closed door and eased it open seeing a king size bed sitting against one wall and a dim light on the nightstand. He made his way to the bed and saw two mounds in it. The one on his side was a large male and the person he wanted to question. The other was a female from the long shapely legs and a little bottom exposed. After sitting his pack down and removing a roll of duct tape, Dean pulled enough off to cover the man’s mouth. He pulled the covers down before slapping the tape over the man’s mouth and punching him hard in the stomach, taking his breath away. The woman sensed struggling and rolled over to see Dean attacking the guy. She rolled off the bed and came up with a gun that she pointed at Dean. Before he could react, Nitro was beside the naked woman grabbing her hand and arm that was holding the gun and breaking her wrist before delivering a hard, effective punch to the face knocking her out cold. 

“Do your thing One.” she said while kneeling by the woman and using zip ties to bind her and stuffing a tank top into her mouth. She had no problems taking out a woman if she endangered any of her team and she did not pull her punches for females.

“Ok Standler, I’m going to inject you with a little something we brewed up that’s going to make you tell me everything I want to know.” Dean told the man wiggling around on the bed as he zip tied his hands in front of him. Dean removed a small black case from his pack and took out a syringe with a bluish colored liquid in it. He removed the cap and tapped it once before squeezing a thin stream out. Turning to the wide eyed man, Dean quickly jabbed the needle into his neck and emptied its contents into the leader of the gang. The man bucked a couple of times and tried to scream into the duct tape and pull on the ties binding him, but it did no good. After a couple of minutes, Standler calmed and seemed to go into a semi-trance state, his face pinched in pain. 

“Now, what’s your name?” Dean asked after he ripped the tape from the man’s mouth. 

“Matthew Standler.” he answered in a pained voice without hesitation.

“What do you do?”

“Leader of the Propios del Diablo.” he groaned.

“What illegal dealings is your gang into?” 

“Drugs, guns, extortion, human trafficking, prostitution.” he groaned twitching in pain. "What did you do to me?" he cried out panting hard. “You’re gonna die for this.” he hissed clenching his jaw tightly.

“The more you fight it the worse the pain will be. That's the beauty of the drug, the more you try not to talk, the stronger the pain gets. I’m looking for this guy, have you seen him?” Dean asked holding up a picture that Bobby gave him of Sam taken about eight months ago. When he first looked at the picture he couldn't believe the snot nosed kid he had left behind looked like this now. He had gotten tall and his hair had gotten longer but he still had that sour, angry look on his face that he remembered so well after their Mom died. Dean wondered if that bitchy, pouting frown was a permanent fixture on his face. 

“Yes.” 

“Where is he?” 

“Stupid asshole was a snitch for the cops, so we had to get rid of him.” he spat in anger.

“Did you kill him?” Dean asked in a very dangerous voice that would of made the guy’s heart stop beating if he hadn’t been drugged. Standler didn't know how close to dying he was if the answer was yes.

“No, he was sent to my partner in Mexico to be made an example of.” 

“Is he still alive?”

“As of two days ago yes.”

“What about this man?” he asked showing a picture of his father.

“Shit’s father, came looking for the snitch. He got too nosey so we let the Mexicans take him out. They're good at those kind of things and don‘t leave a trace.”

Dean sucked in a sharp breath as a rage rushed through him now that it was confirmed his father was dead. He clenched his hands into tight fists trying to control the need to end this man for what he had done. He drew in a couple of deep breaths before continuing to interrogate the man. One thing he knew if the cops didn’t take this guy down, he would be back and see that it was done. He knew now was not the time to mourn his loss. He needed to find his brother and bring him home, and then he would allow himself to mourn.

"Does George Benson work for you?"

"Yes." 

"How?"

"We move drug through the moving company, hide it among the loads to distribute it."

“Do you have a safe here?” 

“Yes, behind the painting on the far wall.”

“Open it.” he ordered jerking the guy off the bed and propelling him to the painting. Dean removed the painting and pushed him closer to the safe. 

Sandler used his thumb on a fingerprint pad and then punched in a ten digit number before clicking the handle open. 

Dean looked inside and removed ledgers, bundles of money, flash drives, and a rubber banded roll of papers. He moved to the light to inspect the contents before calling out to the others.

“Three, second floor.” he said into his mike.

“Copy.” Trace answered.

Within minutes, Trace walked through the door, gun ready, just in case there was trouble. 

“Copy the computer and see what’s on these.” Dean instructed holding out four flash drives and nodding to a desk that had a laptop sitting on top of it.

“On it.” Trace said going to the desk and flipping on the reading lamp. He pulled out a portable hard drive and opened the laptop tapping a couple of keys. “Password?”

“Standler, password for your laptop.” 

“Kingpin78491.” he replied through gritted teeth as sweat poured down his face.

“Got it.” Trace said once the laptop was open. He plugged in a cable and began to type quickly on the laptop copying the hard drive. Once that was done, he started looking at the drives one by one. “Dude, there’s two that’s got blackmail material on it, one porn, and one accounting.”

“Can you copy them?”

“Please!...” he scoffed quickly doing as asked.

spn

Nitro stood by patiently watching the two work, Dean snapping shots of the ledger pages and Trace doing the computer work. She checked the time to see how long they had been in there and spoke softly.

“Fifteen minutes, better speed it up guys.”

“Almost done.” Trace acknowledged switching out drives. 

“Standler, contact information for your partner in Mexico where is it?” Dean asked.

“My cell has phone number under Muenta, he's the cartel boss.” he grunted trying to stop himself from talking but couldn’t. Sweat glistened over his naked body that would not respond to his requests to move. “Address on my computer.”

“Sit down.” Dean commanded as he stowed the money in his pack and pulled out new zip ties. He used a knife to cut the ones on his wrist and pushed him over on his belly and jerked his hands behind him to zip tie them back, then bent a leg backwards to zip tie to the hands putting the man in an awkward, painful position. He stuffed a sock into the guy's mouth before delivering a swift kick to the ribs smirking when he heard ribs break. "That was for what you ordered done." he growled at the man screaming into the sock.   
“Did you copy his cell?”

“All done.” Trace said tossing the cell back onto the desk insulted to even be asked. 

“Let’s get out of here.” Dean told them leading them back downstairs.

“These people were locked up in a back bedroom.” Shadow reported guiding five frightened women to the front of the building. 

“Let the cops deal with them.” Dean replied opening the closet door and helping the undercover agent up and out of the closet. He cut the ties allowing him his freedom then stepped back.

“Who the hell are you guys?” the guy growled at the four masked invaders. “Do you realize you’ve ruined nearly a year’s worth of undercover on this gang?”

“There’s enough information in here to take this gang down and these women need to be taken care of. Can you handle this?” Dean questioned holding out the ledger to the agent. 

“How did you get this?” he asked taking the book and looking at the masked guy suspiciously.

“Standler gave it to me. The other gang members will be out for a couple more hours if you want to call in reinforcements and bring these guys down and clean up the streets. Don’t disappoint me, from your file you’re a good cop. I’d check out the pay offs in that ledger.” Dean said before motioning for the others to follow him back out the door. The team disappeared into the night leaving a bewildered agent staring at the young women huddled together in a corner. He pulled out his cell and made a call as he glanced into the ledger at the data written down. The agent had no idea who these guys were, but one thing he knew was they were professionals of some kind and was glad they seemed to be on his side. He had no idea how they knew he was an undercover DEA agent since only a very few did. He had been handed enough evidence to take down this network and wasn’t going to waste any time in getting it done.

spn

Lawrence was a hundred miles in their rearview mirror before Dean pulled over at a rest area for them to change clothes and grab something to drink and snack on. He had headed southwest to Interstate 335 that turned into Interstate 35 which was a straight shot south toward Mexico. It was still early in the morning and the sun had not yet come up so there were not many people out yet and on the road, meaning they had the restrooms to themselves. 

Dean was leaning against the Impala sipping a soda waiting on the others to come out. He wanted to talk to them before they went any further. He watched his team head back toward him, seeming to know he wanted to talk.

“This is my fight not yours...So we can part ways here.” Dean announced as the three others joined him by the car. “I only ask that you drop off Bobby’s car to him for me. He lives in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.” 

“Are you kidding me? This is the most fun I’ve had since getting out!” Shadow insisted. “No way I’m letting you do this alone. You need backup. Besides, like we said a long time ago, we‘re family and family stands by each other. So no I‘m not going anywhere but with you. Don‘t go trying to send us away Gunny when you know you need us.” 

“What he said.” Trace said an insulted look on his face that he would even think that they wouldn‘t help.

“Looks like you’re stuck with us, besides who else can guard your back like I can?” Nitro questioned with a shrug before turning to get in the Impala. “You coming Gunny?” 

“Ok then.” Dean said feeling gratitude toward his friends for their loyalty and willingness to help. “I figure we’ll try to get through Oklahoma before stopping to regroup.” 

“We’ll follow you.” Trace said before heading for the other car. 

Dean got into the Impala, wanting to put as many miles as he could between them and Lawrence before stopping to get gas and something to eat. He was already planning in his head knowing they would need to stop at least once and spend the night somewhere so they could rest, do research and work out a plan. He wanted to make it most of the way through Oklahoma before stopping if they could. This was going to be much trickier and dangerous to get into Mexico and find Sam and get out again without being caught by Mexican police or the cartel. The plan had to be a good one because he was not putting them in danger if he could help it.

spn

Even thought Dean knew he could drive further, he decided to stop in Ardmore, Oklahoma for the night. He signaled his intention and made sure the other car followed him onto the exit ramp. He headed right at the top of the ramp deciding on a motel a couple miles from the interstate figuring it would be cheaper and not as busy, plus there were a couple of decent restaurants within walking distance. Nitro stirred in the passenger seat when the motion of the car changed and yawned as she looked around to see where they were.

"I'll see if they have connecting rooms for us." she told Dean as he pulled into the motel parking lot and rolled to a stop at the office.

"Look in my bag, there's money you can use. I figured that ass hole should fund us." Dean told her.

"Alright." she agreed leaning over the seat to pull his pack onto the seat and open it. She found bundles of money and peeled three hundred from one bundle thinking that should more than cover the rooms. She got out and stopped by the other car to let them know what she was doing before continuing on to the office. 

Nitro appeared twenty minutes later and motioned for them to follow her around the building to the rooms. She signaled them to park at the end in front of two rooms on the ground floor. 

"Here you go boys, you got the one on the right." she told Trace and Shadow as they got out of the car. "There's a connecting door if you'll unlock it." 

"Yes ma'am." Trace answered giving her a salute. 

"Why don't one of you go grab us some food and we'll get started on research." Dean suggested opening the trunk and getting out the two duffels and computer bag from the back. 

"I'll do it, Trace's the geek." Shadow said.

"And proud of it." Trace insisted.

"Here." Nitro said holding out the change from paying for the room. "Get me a bacon double cheeseburger, steak fries and a piece of cheesecake." 

"That sound good but make my pie apple or pecan." Dean added.

"Got it, I know what you want." Shadow told Trace before he said anything. "I shall return." 

"You just gotta love him." Trace snickered. “I'll track that phone number and see what I get." Trace said opening the door to his room and going in.

Nitro already had the other room door opened and stood back to allow Dean entrance. She headed to the door between the rooms and unlocked her side before tapping on the door. She could hear the lock disengage from the other side and Trace opened the door. 

"Let's set up in here." Dean decided pulling out his laptop. "I'll start trying to find all the information I can on this cartel boss."

"I'll hit up my contacts and see what I can come up with." Nitro said pulling out her cell and scrolling through her contacts. She headed into the guys room for some privacy while they worked on the laptops. She came back out twenty minutes later to see the guys were still on the laptops. Dean looked up at her and got up moving to her.

“Mind if I borrow your cell?” he asked politely.

“No problem.” she said handing it over. "If you had your own you wouldn't need to bum one."

“I’m gonna step outside for some air.” he told them snagging a room key before stepping from the room and ignoring her jab. He headed toward a small area that had a few picnic tables placed under some shade trees and sat down at one of them. Dean dialed the number he had memorized and listened to it ring at the other end. This was not a call he wanted to make, but he had told the older man he would stay in touch. 

“H’llo, Singer Salvage.” a familiar gruff voice answered.

“Bobby, its Dean.” he said in a small voice.

“Dean, son are you ok?” Bobby asked hearing the strain in Dean’s voice. When he didn’t answer he continued. “What is it? Did you find them?”

“Dad’s dead.” he finally got out trying to hold back any emotion out of his voice. He had to think of his little brother and getting him out alive.

“Balls!” Bobby spat angrily. “I was afraid of that when I couldn’t get in touch with him. What about Sam?”

“He was alive three days ago. We’re going after him and bringing him back.” Dean stated his voice getting stronger and more serious. 

“Where is he? Dean what are you going to do? You said ‘we’; does that mean you at least have help?”

“I’ll let you know when I’ve found him.” Dean replied not giving anything away. “I’m not alone.”

“Dean ya listen to me son, don’t go doin’ somethin’ stupid, ya hear me?” 

“Wouldn’t think of it. I know what has to be done. I’ll be in touch.” Dean said, a hidden meaning luring behind those words.

“Dean!....Dean?....” Bobby called only to get a dial tone. “Damn fool idjit!” Bobby whispered hanging up his phone and sighing with worry. He was sure someone was going to pay dearly for what had happened to Dean's family. Bobby shuttered to think what he was capable of, but at least he wasn’t alone and if they were anyway as commanding as Dean, he was in good company.

spn

A knock sounded on the door thirty minutes later and Dean let Shadow in with their food. They put aside their work to eat, none having much small talk while they ate. Tension hung in the air, each understanding how urgent their mission was and knowing they needed to act fast with a plan. None knew how long Sam had or what was being done to him. Dean’s blood ran cold if he let his mind go there, knowing how cruel and evil a human could be toward another human being. It could be even worse if the victims were weaker and smaller and someone wanted to act superior and controlling over them. He worked hard on keeping his mind away from those thoughts as everyone finished up and tossed their trash so they could get down to business.

“From what I can find on this Muenta bastard portrays him as a very dangerous and ruthless man. He’s feared by the locals who he uses as slaves to harvest his drug crops. He’s got a compound near a village called San Carlos. It’s about seventy-five miles inland from the Gulf. The quickest and probably easiest way in is by boat. If we can land at some isolated port, we can make our way inland to the compound, size it up and stage the rescue of not only Sam but anyone else held against their will and get out.” 

“I can help with that.” Nitro nodded already thinking along the same lines and had already planned ahead. “I know someone with a fishing boat that knows the waters and will take us in.”

“He trustworthy?” Dean questioned.

“Yes she is.” Nitro insisted. “She wouldn’t last long if she wasn’t. She owes me and knows better than to try and cross me.” 

“Did you make a deal?”

“Of course, she’s expecting us at Port Isabel harbor in a day. Don’t worry, they’ll be no questions asked about anything. She knows how to keep her mouth shut too.”

“Ok, that’s taken care of; Trace you think maybe you could get some satellite photos of the place?”

“On it.” Trace replied pulling his laptop to him and typing quickly on the keyboard.

"What do we have in the way of weapons?" 

"Pretty good and I can probably find someone in the area to get more if needed." Shadow said.

“There are always the weapons at the compound. You know they’ve got to have plenty to keep the locals under their control and protect that place.” Nitro added. 

“Good thinking.” Shadow nodded to her giving her a wink.

"This time...There will be no mercy." Dean said in a voice stone cold and deadly. No one had any doubts about what he meant and didn't say anything to him. They would follow him to the ends of the Earth and would do whatever was needed. None of them had any qualms in obeying their leader, even if he really wasn’t that now.

spn

Two cars left early before most traffic was on the road and were heading south toward the tip of Texas to Port Isabel. Dawn was still a couple of hours away, but Dean couldn't sleep and decided to get on the road early. He was going to push it as much as he could to get there as soon as possible. Soft music was playing on the radio in the Impala as Dean concentrated on the darkness ahead of him as his headlights cut through the eerie blackness. The others were use to the weird hours and didn't complain about being on the road this early. Nitro hummed quietly to the music as her nibble fingers spun a small, sharp knife by feel alone and years of experience. She was never one to sit idle and had to be doing something to keep busy. The only time she was still was when she was asleep, but even then she was restless. Nitro could tell Dean was in one of his moods and would be until this mission was over, no matter how it turned out. She feared Dean blamed himself for whatever happened to his brother. She just hoped that the outcome was a good one or she had a deep down feeling that Dean wouldn’t survive it. If his brother didn’t make it, neither would Dean. 

The only stops that were made by the two cars as they continued their southward journey were for gas and takeout. The sun moved across the sky in a slow steady pace, disappearing at times behind large grey clouds that were scattered in the blue sky. The air cooled with the threat of rain, but they were lucky and none had fallen during their journey. The sun was beginning to set as Dean pulled into Port Isabel following the signs to the harbor and Nitro’s directions to the slip where her friend’s boat was. They parked in a small lot and got out breathing in the salty air and stretching their long frames trying to get the knots out. 

“You guys wait here.” Nitro told them before heading down a small pier and stopping at an average size boat named Flame. From her looks, they could tell the owner took good care of it. They could hear her call out and watched when a few minutes later a female came out of the lower cabin onto the deck. Nitro stepped onto the deck and they bumped fists in greeting. After a couple of minutes she waved them to the boat.

“Guys this is Red, she’s going to help us.” Nitro told them. “That’s One, Three and Four and I’m Two. The less you know the better.”

“H’llo gentlemen.” Red said with a nod gauging each one of them and zeroing in on One as the leader.

“Thanks for helping us.” Dean said taking in the dark red headed, blue eyed, decent looking woman who looked to be in her early thirties. She was smaller framed than Nitro, but seemed just a confident and strong. 

“If you’ll get your gear we’ll get under way.” she told them moving around the deck to check things out. “You’ll have to help me with the boat since I don’t have a first mate.”

“I have some knowledge.” Shadow replied before stepping back from the boat.

“Is there a place we can leave our vehicles that will be safe?” Dean asked her.

“Pull them around to the side of that hanger and leave them. They’ll be safe there. No one would dare mess with them.” 

“Get everything we need from the cars and get it on board.” Dean ordered the others. He unlocked the Impala trunk and let Nitro get everything before moving it to where Red suggested. He waited until Trace had the Chevy parked beside him before getting out and joining him in the walk back to the boat.

“Hope no one gets seasick.” she commented to them as they gathered on the deck. “One of you cast off that back line and we’ll head out. Shouldn’t have any problems making it to a small village I use as base tonight. Weather should hold out for the trip down.”

“Think we can rent a vehicle from someone there?” Dean asked as she started the motor and made ready to ease from the dock. He listened to the steady growl of the boat’s engine as she pushed the throttle forward picking up speed.

“I think that can be arranged.”

“Will we have any problems with Coast Guard or cops?” Trace asked.

“As long as you’ve got your passports we should be good. They know I’m a charter fishing boat and take out clients all the time. I've never had any problems with them.” 

“Everyone good with fake ones?”

“Yep.” 

“Always.”

“Yes.” 

“Let’s get these bags stowed out of sight to be on the safe side.” Dean told them picking up two bags and taking them below deck. He didn’t want to try and explain the weapons and explosives they were carrying to the cops if they were to be stopped.

The others followed his lead and did the same. They hid their bags in several compartments out of sight of anyone checking out the cabin. 

“One, we need to pay Red two thousand up front and I told her she’d get another two when we returned.”

“Fine by me.” Dean said getting a bag back out and pulling money from it and handing that to her.

“Thanks.” Nitro replied taking the money. “There’s bunks if you guys wanna try and nap.” she said before heading back up to join Red in the wheelhouse. 

“Did that coming down, I’ll go get a rod set up to at least look like we’re fishing.” Trace shrugged following her back up.

“Well I could use a short one.” Shadow yawned heading through a small arch to see bunks on either side of the room. He plopped down on one with a grunt and cleared his mind so he could sleep.

“Guess I could do with a little rest.” Dean agreed sitting on the bunk across from him not sure he could but was going to try. This was similar to a number of missions they had been on, so it wasn’t anything new to the team except this time there was family involved. It seemed none had lost any of their skills since getting out and fell right back into the groove of it all with no hesitation. He knew he could count on his team to back his play no matter what. They trusted him with their lives and he did the same. 

spn

“How ya been?” Nitro asked her friend as she settled beside her. 

“Pretty busy with the charters and all.” 

“Here’s the first payment.” she said laying the money on the dash. 

“Thanks.” she said picking it up and stuffing it in a pocket. “So are those the guys you served with?”

“Yes, they’re my team and became my family.” 

“I’m glad you have found that Sister.” she said softly. 

“I want to thank you personally for your help.” 

“No need, I owe you much more.”

“That was a life time ago.”

“I take it they don’t know about your past?”

“No and that’s how it should be.” 

“They won’t hear anything from me.” 

“Thank you.” Nitro said gratefully. “You are a good friend.”

“Hey are we far enough out to cast a line?” Trace called from the deck below. 

“Looks like someone’s making it look real.” Red chuckled watching Trace study the reel and look around him for bait. He seemed sort of lost with the whole fishing thing.

spn

Dean could feel the motion of the boat change and opened his eyes, coming awake almost instantly. He sat up and looked to the other bunk to see Shadow still sacked out. He got up and made his way to the main part of the cabin stopping at a storage area to snag his bag. He quickly changed into all black and stored his other clothes back in the bag before going to the fridge to see what was available to quench his thirst. Dean snagged a Gatorade and started up the steps to the deck of the boat. Soft laughter had him looking around to see Trace reeling in a line and Nitro sitting on a bench nearby chatting with him.

“Hey One, wanna show Three how to catch a fish?” she giggled turning back to Trace. “He’s doesn’t seem to have the knack.”

“I know how to fish thank you.” Trace complained. “I can’t help it they don’t want to bite right now.” 

“Where are we?” Dean asked looking out at the darkness surrounding the boat and the lights reflecting off the water.

“Red said she’ll be pulling into the village in another twenty minutes. We had to float around out here to make it look good.”

“Good, Three go get Four up and get ready.” Dean instructed him.

“On it One.” Trace replied reeling in his line and putting the rod away before heading below. 

“Look, that’s where we’re going.” Nitro pointed out at the lights off in the distance. “I’ll go change and bring up your things.”

“Thanks.” he told her. Dean could sense she was concerned about him and knew she wouldn‘t say anything unless she felt the need.

Dean followed her gaze and saw the lights and could feel the boat's speed slightly increase as it headed for them. He could feel his body tensing as the anticipation of the hunt was starting to take hold. He didn’t know what they were going to find once they got there, but Dean was preparing himself for the worse. He set his jaw and pinched his lips together in a thin, tight line as he watched them get closer to the lights. He could hear the movement around him, but didn’t acknowledge any of them as he concentrated on the steps of their plan. Find the compound, case the place, wait for the right time, breach, get Sammy out of there, exact his revenge, get back to the boat and head back to Texas. Sounded easy, but there were so many ways it could go wrong and he knew it. He hoped to find his younger brother alive, but with what he read about this cartel boss...He knew it would be slim to none. He pushed all his emotions and doubts back into the corner of his mind knowing now was not the time for them. He had to have a clear, level head to lead his team and look out for them. Them volunteering to help him showed how loyal they were and he was damn sure going to get them out of this in one piece.

A/N: Comments welcome. NC


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I wasn’t sure how this story would be received and I am thrilled that everyone seems to like it and the universe I created here. I have tried to be as realistic as I could with the details, but if I am off or wrong, it is my error. I hope you enjoy this chapter and will leave me a comment. NC

 

"You need to let me go in first." Red told Dean once they had to boat tied to the dock. "I'll get you a vehicle but first help me unload a few things." she gestured to a small mound of tarp covered boxes.

"Guys, lend a hand." Dean said to the others as he stepped beside Red who had removed the tarp. He looked at what sat underneath it with arched eyebrows. There were boxes marked medical supplies, blankets, clothes, baby formula and an assortment of dried and canned foods. He was surmising that there was more to Red than she allowed anyone to see. He hefted a box and passed it along to Trace, who passed it along to Shadow who was on the dock waiting to take it. They formed a chain and quickly unloaded the boxes stacking them neatly by the boat. Once they had them all unloaded, he turned back to Red, "Done, we'll wait here."

"I shouldn't be long, be ready to leave when I return." 

"You heard the lady, everyone gear up." he ordered to others falling right back into role of leader in the blink of an eye.

The three team members turned to their packs and suited up, checking the load on their guns before stowing them in holsters. They put extra clips in various pockets, along with knives and throwing stars. Nitro carried the heavier explosives in a backpack and they each had automatic rifles with silencers and hollow point rounds slung over their shoulder. Dean removed a small black leather case and placed it in a breast pocket until it was needed. He double checked each member to be sure they were set before doing the same to himself and finally moving his sniper rifle case where it was readily within reach. He looked toward the village waiting patiently for Red's return. One thing Dean and the other members of the team had learned over the last eight years was patience. Twenty minutes later Red came back with men from the village that didn't even look their way as they retrieved the boxes and took them into the village.

"Here's the keys to the best vehicle in the village. It should get you where you want to go." she said holding out a set of keys. "It's parked at the edge of the village, black Nissan. It's not the greatest thing to look at, but it runs. I'll be on the boat waiting for your return." she told them stepping back onto the boat as they stepped off.

"Have the boat ready to cast off as soon as we're back." Dean told her pausing on the dock for a moment. "If we're not back in 24 hours, we're not coming back, so you might as well leave." 

"I kind of doubt that, I'll be here and the boat will be ready." Red told him with confidence watching the four walk away toward the road through town. They disappeared into the night, quickly blending into the darkness surrounding the town. Knowing it was a waiting game now, she busied herself making sure the boat was ready. It needed gassing, decks swept and below straightened up before the team returned. 

spn

Four prone bodies lay on a small ridge above the compound scoping it out. All four were studying the place through night vision goggles trying to spot guards and other possible dangers. 

"Two, thermal." Dean whispered softly.

Nitro reached down and pulled out the thermal imaging and pointed it at the buildings, sweeping it slowly over them twice and then very slowly the third time.

"Building to the right numerous bodies looks like lying on the floor. I'd say that's a cell since the windows are barred on the outside. On down more bodies but they seem to be in beds probably guards. Got three moving around outside patrolling the grounds. The main house shows several guards walking around near the front door. There's something at the back of the house but can't really make it out. I'd say possibly the master bedroom and there's other rooms back there but can't see much. That's 'bout all I can make out."

"There's a large truck and several SUVs over to the side." Shadow mumbled. "We could make use of them."

"Alright, you three move into position and I'll take out the guards in the two towers." Dean told them rolling back from the edge and reaching for his case. "Radio silence until we meet back up." The others moved quietly through the trees getting into position to take out the other three patrolling guards. Dean opened the case and pulled out two halves of a sniper rifle. He quickly assembled the rifle adding a scope and silencer before giving it a once over and loading it. Even after the time passed, he fell right back into the hunter mode without any qualms. After easing back to the edge, he locked the legs, settling them on the ground in front of him and hugged the stock to his shoulder peering through the scope searching for his targets. Dean scooped a small amount of dirt from the ground and held it out, letting it run through his fingers. The air was still around him and he adjusted for that before stilling his entire body and drawing in slow, even breaths. He sighted the first target and waited, letting him turn away from the edge before firing the shot. The target dropped and he moved to the other one adjusting the scope slightly before firing again watching his target fall. He pushed back from the edge, folded the legs, shouldered the rifle and made his way down the slope following his team.

spn

Shadow froze in the shadows and tracked the movement of the guard as he moved closer to him. He walked just past him when he struck, clamping a hand over his mouth and jerking his head sideways with a quick snap, breaking his neck with ease. He followed the body to the ground and pulled the dead guard deeper into the darkness away from the dim light.

With the silence of a ghost, Nitro moved in on her prey never taking her eyes off his back as he stopped and glanced left and right not expecting his life was about to end. Nitro readied her knife and in one sudden motion launched herself at him slicing deeply into his carotid artery, holding her hand tightly over his mouth as he bled out. After the body jerked one last time, she got a good grip on his jacket and hauled him behind some barrels out of sight. She moved silently around the compound planting charges and arming them for later use.

Trace stopped at the corner and listened to the crunch of footsteps heading his way and drew out his knife getting ready for the kill. The guard’s footsteps got closer and he passed by the corner of the building. Trace stepped from his hiding spot and stepped behind the guard clamping a hand tightly over his mouth while he drove the knife upward between his ribs and into his heart. He twisted the blade hard before pulling it out letting him fall to the ground. He reached down and wiped his knife on the guard’s jacket before sheathing it and dragging the dead body out of sight. 

Dean had his rifle slung over his shoulder and his hand gun out ready to use as he neared the compound. He whispered to his team to sound off and was answered by three 'done' back before continuing on. He met up with his team near the side building and regrouped. He checked the area for any stray guards before moving to the closed door of the building. Dean motioned for Trace and Shadow to take the room with the guards and do what needed to be done. He signaled Nitro to follow him to clear the other rooms. 

spn

The two ex-soldiers crept down the hall and stopped at the door to the sleeping quarters. Shadow eased the door open enough to look in and confirm the sleeping men were guards. He took out two canisters and popped the tops letting them roll into the room before closing the door. The gas would take out all the guards in the room without a single shot. Trace took out a spray can and sprayed an expanding substance around the seam of the door. By the time he was all the way around, the substance had started hardening rock solid. The only way to open the door now was to physically break it down. They moved down to another room and opened it up shining a light inside.

“One, you might wanna see this.” Trace whispered into his mike as he stared wide eyed into the room.

“On my way.” Dean acknowledged. 

Shadow and Trace stepped back when Dean and Nitro joined them in the doorway. Dean added his light to the one Trace had on and looked at a room stacked with weapons of all kinds. 

“Is it Christmas already?” Nitro asked slowly with surprise in her voice while taking out her own light and letting it play over the weapons. "My, my look at this." she cooed picking up a brick of C-4, her favorite kind of explosive to work with. She quickly started working on some basic bombs for them to use to help bring this place down. When they were done this compound would be a pile of burning rubble.

“One...” Shadow started letting his light settle on a table stacked with bags of white powder and another table with bags of marijuana on it. 

“Take whatever we can use and set charges in here. I want this place leveled to the ground.” Dean said moving to a side door that had two padlocks on it. He pulled lock picks out and took off the locks and opened the door to shine his light inside. What he found was interesting as he flipped on a light to see stacks of money wrapped in plastic blocks and a table full of Mexican currency rubber banded together. Not feeling at all guilty, Dean grabbed a couple of black duffels from a corner and quickly filled them with as much money as he could and grabbed a black garbage bag to rake the Mexican money into it. He carried the bags out and handed them to Shadow.

“Find the keys for those vehicles or hot wire them and get them ready. Put these bags in one of them. Two with me, let’s see who’s in the other rooms.” Dean instructed them. 

spn

Dean and Nitro moved quickly down the hall toward the other end of the building and found the cells. In the first one they opened figures moved around on the floor blinking up into the light. They started getting up, some helping the ones that couldn’t get up on their own as they cowered backing away from them.

“Te estamos liberando. (We’re freeing you).” Dean said slowly lowering his gun. 

The men looked at each other still fearful of the two masked strangers. A man separated from the others and stepped toward them. Dean could see now that he was dressed like a priest and frowned that this cartel boss would be that bold to have a priest locked up. In these small Mexican towns the priests were considered sacred and off limits for the bad guys.

“Quién es usted? (Who are you?)” the priest asked.

“Nadie, estamo buscando a un joven americano. ¿Lo has visto? (No one, we’re looking for an American young man. Have you seen him?)”

“He salvado a uno de mis rebaños de ser asesinado a su propio riesgo. Está en una de las otras celdas. (I have, he saved one of my flock from being killed at his own risk. He is in one of the other cells.)” he pointed to three other cells below them.

“¿Puedes sacar a tu gente de aquí ya ese camión afuera? (Can you get your people out of here and to that truck outside?)”

“Sí. (Yes.)”

“¿Alguna de vosotros puede conducir? (Can any of you drive?)” 

“Si puedo señor. (Yes I can sir.)” one of the other men spoke up. 

“Por favor, señor, nuestros hijos, debes salvar a nuestros hijos! (Please sir, our children, you must save our children!)” another begged falling to him knees in front of Dean and clasping his hand tightly. 

“¿Que niños? (What children?)” Dean questioned looking to the priest for answers.

“El Sr. Muenta sacó a algunos de los niños de nuestra aldea y los mantuvo en la casa principal. (Mr. Muenta had some of the children removed from our village and keeps them in the main house.)” he explained. 

“Sáquenlos de aquí, una vez que encuentre la América que iremos después de que los niños. (Get them out of here, once I find the American we will go after the children.)” Dean assured them wanting to move on to find his brother. He moved to the next cell and opened it checking inside to find it empty. Dean grumbled in anger and hurried to the next one. He got the door opened and looked inside starting to move on again until the smell hit him and with a closer look he saw an arm sticking out of what he thought was a mound of dirty rags. 

“Oh my God....” Nitro said hurrying to the rags and dropping to her knees beside the young man they were looking for. She put her fingers to his neck trying to find a pulse. His skin was cold and she couldn‘t tell the extent of his injuries because of the dirt and grim and blood coating his entire body. The stench of ammonia, sweat, blood and illness hung in the air around Sam. His clothes were nothing but torn rags barely covering his too thin body. It took her a moment before she found the weak flutter of a heart beat under her fingers and let out the breath she was holding. 

“Two?” Dean whispered afraid to know if he was still alive or not as he knelt down beside her. His light swept over his little brother’s battered and abused body and back up to his face. His too long hair was greasy, filthy, and hung in a face that had a scraggly, matted beard covering it. He wouldn't of known by the looks that this mound of rags and the skinny body was his brother and blinked back the tears that suddenly filled his eyes.

“He’s still alive, but just barely One. We need to get him out of here. He‘s in bad shape.” she said looking up into Dean’s watery eyes. 

“I’m here bro, we’re getting you out of here.” he whispered to his brother as he scooped him up into his arms. Sam groaned in pain and his body trembled uncontrollably in his arms but he never really came to. “Two, you take one of the SUVs out there and get my brother to the boat. I’m trusting you with him. Keep him alive please.” 

“I’ll do whatever I can One, I promise you that.” she said taking keys from Shadow for a vehicle. 

Dean placed Sam in the back seat and rubbed a finger down one cheek before getting out and shutting the door. He opened the driver’s door for Nitro and closed it for her. She gave him a brief nod of understanding and cranked the vehicle leaving the lights off as she slowly pulled away heading down the side road to the one leading to the village. 

Shadow and Trace moved to stand beside Dean as he looked toward the main house. They could feel the rage building in him as he stood tall while darkness swept through him. This was not a man you would want to mess with right now.

“There'll be no mercy, none...We level this damn place to the ground... That bastard Muenta is mine.” he spoke in such an ominous voice that the freed villagers all trembled and made the sign of the cross. “You two find the kids.” 

“Charges have been set; we’re ready to rock and roll.” Shadow said cocking his gun ready for action.

“I’m with ya One.” Trace nodded. “Two made up some bitching bombs for us. We‘ll set them for five minutes once we have the kids. Remember that One, five minutes.”

Dean didn’t answer him as he stalked toward the main house not caring if anyone saw him. Shadow and Trace hurried to catch up to their leader knowing he was hell bend on revenging his family. 

spn

When Nitro was satisfied she was far enough away from the compound, she pulled over and hurried to the back to check on the young man. She needed to make sure he was still alive and start an IV to get fluids into him. Nitro could tell he was dehydrated, starved and had been severely beaten, but wasn’t sure what his other injuries might be. She pulled out her scaled down field kit and climbed in beside Sam laying her pack on his legs. She pressed two fingers to his neck searching for his pulse and quickly laid a hand on his chest to feel his breathing. Sam’s chest barely moved up and down under her hand and she sighed with relief. After pulling out alcohol wipes, Nitro moved Sam’s left arm flat so she could clean the crook of his elbow and just below it. It took three wipes to get all the dirt and blood and grim from it. She wrapped a rubber band around his skinny arm and ran her fingers down it feeling something she was familiar with and frowned in puzzlement. Not having the time now to check it out, she tapped his arm to get the veins up so she could insert the cannula for the IV line. After finally getting it in a vein, she taped it down and attached a bag of solution. She made a makeshift hanger and hung it above his head being sure there were no twists in the line before opening the flow to full, hoping to pump as much liquid as she could into him. Once she was done, Nitro packed up and got back behind the wheel to head for the boat. She didn’t like leaving the others to finish up, but Gunny had entrusted her with his brother and she would not let him down. 

spn

The front doors posed no problem for Dean as he stalked inside taking out the two guards with head shots before moving through the house toward the bedrooms. Shadow and Trace searched the other rooms taking out two more guards that stood in their way as he searched for the kids. Dean pictured the layout of the house in his mind and headed for the master bedroom. He stepped into the room finding a small sitting room and moved through it into the bedroom seeing a king size bed against one wall. Something lying in the floor at the foot of the bed caught his eye and he realized it was a young child no more than ten or eleven. He could just make out she was naked and had a collar around her neck chaining her to the footboard. Dean's anger and rage grew stronger because he knew what had been done to the child and probably the other children as well. Only a sick, depraved, sonovabitch would do that to a defenseless child. The child tried to slide away, holding a scrap of a blanket over her small body. Dean put his finger to his lips to quiet her as he moved to the side of the bed to look down at the monster for the first time. He turned on the lamp by the bed and saw a middle aged man lying on silk sheets snoring loudly. The rage had to be released as he clenched his hands tightly. Without any warning, Dean grabbed a hand full of dark hair jerking him from the bed and slamming him face first into the stone floor. His nose broke and so did a number of teeth as Muenta woke spitting blood and trying to yell as Dean planted a knee into his back holding him down. Dean took out a special cord he had perfected and looped it around Muenta’s arms just above the elbows and pulled it tight. This action caused his elbows to almost meet behind his back, nearly dislocating his shoulders. Muenta cried out in pain from the sudden wrenching of his shoulders and injury to his face. 

"Quienquiera que seas, eres un hombre muerto! (Whoever you are, you're a dead man!)" the cartel boss slurred through busted teeth and swelling lips.

“Soy el ángel de la muerte y es hora de pagar por tus pecados, hijo enfermo! (I'm the angel of death and it’s time to pay for your sins you sick sonovabitch!)” Dean growled into his ear. He pulled the black case from his breast pocket and opened it up to remove a syringe with a pale yellowish liquid. After taking off the cap, he slammed it into the man’s neck and emptied the contents into his body. Muenta jerked and cried out but was unable to move or hardly breathe with Dean’s weight on him. “Matarte ahora es demasiado fácil. Lo que te inyecté es un veneno de acción lenta que te matará lenta y dolorosamente. En veinticuatro horas desearás haberme matado. (Killing you now is too easy. What I just injected you with is a slow acting poison that will kill you in the most painful way possible. In twenty-four hours you’ll wish I had killed you.)”

The man could only lay there whimpering and heaving huge sobs as he tried to move his naked body but couldn’t get any leverage with his arms pinned the way they were. 

Dean moved back to the end of the bed and the small girl huddled there. He squatted down beside her and spoke softly after removing his mask.

“No te lastimaré, pequeña. (I won’t hurt you little one.)” 

The young girl watched Dean with fearful eyes as he reached for the lock hanging from her neck and picked it so he could remove the collar. He looked around and saw her clothes tossed in a corner. 

“Aquí, poned esto, te sacaré de aquí. (Here, put these on, I’m taking you out of here.)” he told her holding out her clothes for her. He nodded giving her a small smile that it was ok as she started to reach for them but pulled back unsure of him.

“One, we found the other kids.” Three spoke from the mike in his ear. “You got five minutes to get out of there bro.”

“On my way.” Dean replied picking up the chain and moving the girl out of the way. With one swift kick he broke the footboard to free the chain so he could wrap it around Muenta’s ankle and locked it in place. Dean jerked the chain dragging the naked body across the stone floor and scooped the girl up in his arm before heading for the front door. He met the others in the hall and handed over the girl to Shadow. They were herding four others kids ahead of them for the front door.

“Two minutes.” Trace said.

“Get these kids out of here. Give the priest the garbage bag from the SUV and tell him to help his people. Have the SUV ready to leave.” Dean ordered them pushing them toward the open front doors. He watched as they grabbed the two youngest up in their arms while pushing the older ones ahead of them and raced for the doors. Dean followed dragging the cartel boss behind him and just stepped out of the house when the first explosion echoed through the house shattering the windows. Dean continued to drag the man across the gravel driveway as explosions continued to light up the night as hungry flames reached for the sky and bits and pieces of the building began to rain down on them. Burning wood pelted the naked body of the cartel boss searing his skin since he couldn't protect himself from it, adding additional injury.

spn

“Here take them!” Shadow yelled handing off the kids to the Mexican people in the back of the truck who were crying out with joy as they hugged the children. 

“Take this, use it for your people.” Trace rushed pushing the garbage bag into the priest’s hand. “Get out of here now! Go!” he yelled motioning for the driver to leave,

“Gracias mis hijos, Dios esté contigo. (Thank you my sons, God be with you.)” the priest blessed them as the truck pulled away.

“Get the SUV started and watch for One.” Shadow told Trace ducking when the first explosion went off. 

Trace got in the vehicle and started it pulling it a little further down the road away from the buildings as more blasts ripped the night apart throwing debris up into the air. They looked back toward the smoke and flames and raining material trying to see Dean. 

“See anything?” Trace asked after several minutes had passed and still no Dean.

“No, I’m going back.” Shadow started taking a step toward the thick smoke and flames.

“No wait! I think I see something.” Trace said pointing to a dark shape he could just make out.

Two pairs of eyes strained to see through the thickening smoke as a figure limped slowly toward them. Dean looked like a demon walking from the deepest pits of hell, his black clothing making him seem forbearing against the thick, grey smoke swirling around him as if dancing with him and the flames of the fires growing as it searched for more fuel. His face was covered with dust and grim from being too close to the explosions and being knocked down. Both let out the breaths they were holding and went back to the vehicle getting in to wait on him. 

“Go.” Dean said sliding into the back and pulling out a remote from one of his pockets. He flipped the toggle switch and started pressing several buttons causing a chain reaction of explosions to blow up the remaining buildings, drugs and weapons. “We’re done here, let it burn.” he stated flatly, no emotion at all in his voice.

Trace tromped on the gas spewing gravel everywhere as the wheels caught and rocked the vehicle down the road away from all the destruction. No one said anything about what had just happened because they weren’t needed. No one had any regrets for what they did and the ones they killed. The sounds of the explosions were dying away the farther they drove from the demolished compound. Dean had tossed the cartel boss down a small hill away from the buildings so he wouldn’t accidentally die by flying debris. He wanted him to suffer the relentless torture the poison would inflict on him with each passing day until it killed him from the inside out. Even if he was found, there was no antidote for the poison and no amount of treatment that could save him. He was a dead man walking and nothing could change that no matter how powerful he thought he was.

spn

Nitro skidded to a stop at the dock and turned the SUV off leaving the keys in it. She got out and called to Red on the boat.

“I need help!” she called out gathering her bags and tossing them to the deck of the boat. “Grab a blanket Red.” 

“Sure.” she replied going below deck and coming back up with a blanket. Red joined Nitro by the back door looking inside seeing a dirty guy curled up on the seat. 

“We need to get the blanket under him so we can carry him inside.” she instructed, snapping the blanket out. Nitro crawled to the other side and slipped the blanket under Sam’s body and put the IV bag on his stomach as she pulled him to his side to grab the blanket and get it around him. “Slowly pull him out.”

Red fisted her end of the blanket and slid his legs out of the vehicle and took his weight as Nitro got hold of the other end and lifted him the rest of the way out. They made their way to the boat and took him below deck to one of the bunks. 

“Think your friend would mind a trade in vehicles?” Nitro asked her. “The other one’s out near the compound and I don’t think the guys will be bringing it back.” 

“I think they’ll be ok with that. Where are the others?” 

“Freeing the villagers that were slaves they had there and destroying the rest.” 

“Good, he needs to be taken out. Too many good people have died at his hand. He deserves what he gets.” 

“Believe me; One will make sure he pays dearly for his sins.” Nitro said checking Sam’s vitals first before continuing. Taking a pair of scissors, she cut away what was left of his shirt and pants so she could exam him easier. 

“I’ll just go topside and watch for them.” Red said when she saw the condition of the young man and what Nitro was doing. She turned and hurried from the room giving Nitro privacy as she ministered to the young man.

Nitro rummaged around in Trace’s bag for some briefs, since he was the smallest of the guys. She slipped them up Sam’s legs and let them settle on his boney hips. Even though they were too big, it was better than nothing she decided. She did her best to feel his skull through his dirty, matted, stiff hair. There was a small laceration alone the hair line and several pump knots, but none were serious, so she moved on. She felt down each arm and up his legs and finally pressed gently on his ribs checking for injury. Sam lay listless and unmoving under her inspection. She turned him to his side and looked at his whipped back seeing bits of his ragged shirt were dried into the welts that ran across his back. Knowing she would be doing more harm than good by trying to get the pieces of shirt from the wounds, she left them alone. Sam needed to soak in warm water to soften the skin and loosen the dirt and bits of shirt from the wounds so they could be cleaned properly. 

She found some wounds had gotten infected and knew they would need opened up to drain and then dressed. After putting on gloves and a mask, she pulled out a sterile scalpel, peroxide, gauze pads and steri strips. Once she had his leg positioned right, she used the scalpel to open an infected laceration letting sickly, yellowish pus and blood run from it. She wiped the infection from his leg and tucked a towel under it so she could pour peroxide over it watching it bubble madly. She repeated the process until the wound was clean and dried it before putting steri strips across the laceration to close it. She repeated this process two more times before stripping off the gloves and mask and gathering up the used items to trash them. She checked her handiwork and nodded in satisfaction.

Nitro then looked closer at his arms and then his thighs and bottom seeing her fears were worse than she thought. She dreaded telling Dean what she had found because she knew it was going to kill him. She got a folded towel and lifted his legs enough to slide it under them in case he peed since she didn‘t have anything else to use. She gave Sam shots of antibiotics for the infection and pain killer for pain, then used wet gauze to moisten his mouth before dribbling a spoon of water into it. Most of it ran out, but some went down his throat causing him to jerk his head away and cough weakly. Nitro gently wiped away the excess and wrapped a blanket around him only leaving his left arm out because of the IV line. She made sure it was tight enough to keep him from struggling and possibly injuring himself further. Taking a warm wet cloth, Nitro carefully washed his face trying to remove some of the dirt, blood and grim from it. She wiped his dirty beard to get what she could out of it. As the dirt came off, she could tell he wasn’t bad looking and would be a knockout once he put some weight back on. Sam whimpered and rolled his head from side to side as his body twitched and trembled.

“It’s ok, hush now you’re safe.” she cooed to him cupping his cheek in her hand. “Big brother got you out; you’re going home.” She watched his face grimace in pain, but he remained unconscious. His breathing got faster and shallower as she felt his heart raced weakly under her fingers. “Calm down now, its ok.” she tried to assure him pressing a hand to his chest to stop his struggling. Nitro took her phone and quickly flipped through it finding her music and hit play. She laid the phone near Sam’s head so he could hear the soft melody and he began to relax as his breathing evened out. “There you go, I’ll just leave this here and you listen to it, glad you like my music. You just rest now, he‘ll be here soon.” Nitro heard the engines start up and felt the movement of the boat and knew the guys must be back. She drew in a deep breath and looked toward the stairs waiting for Dean to come down so she could tell him about his brother.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Sam’s been found and they’re heading home. Thank you for all the support with this story. The chapters are getting harder to write since I want to express both brother’s feelings and thoughts. It’ll get rough before it gets better. Comments are welcome. NC

 

 

Trace stopped the SUV just on the outskirts of the village and they got out gathering their gear and leaving the vehicle for whomever wanted it. Dean handed one of the duffels with money to Shadow and took the other himself, grunting in pain when his wounded arm protested. 

“You ok One?” Shadow asked hearing and knowing what that grunt meant. Gunny was hurt but he wasn’t letting anyone know.

“Just a little cut from some flying crap, nothing serious.” Dean responded lightly.

“You better let Two look at it or she’ll be pissed and you know how that is.” he cautioned him knowing that what Dean might consider a little cut could be much worse. He had seen him use duct tape to hold a bleeding wound together and keep right on going not letting it slow it him down. 

They made their way quickly toward the dock and the waiting boat. The village was quiet and no one was out yet on the street even though dawn was just breaking on the horizon. Curtains moved in the windows as if the people were watching, but too afraid to come out. The three Marines could feel the curious eyes on them, but didn’t acknowledge it. Red saw them coming and already had the boat idling waiting for them to cast off the lines and get a board. With everyone back on board, she eased the fishing boat from the dock and headed back out into deeper waters plotting a course for the United States.

spn

The morning light was chasing away the darkness as the fishing boat kept a steady speed, breaking through the slightly rough water heading back to Port Isabel. There was a storm brewing in the gulf and the white caps were bigger making it a rougher ride back. Red hoped to outrun the worse of the storm and be back to harbor before it hit. She looked behind her and saw two of the men hanging on to the railing as they gazed out into the open water. One was missing and she expected it was the leader and knew he must be down below. 

After securing their gear, Dean headed for the hatch where he knew his brother was. He faltered in his steps dreading what he was going to see but couldn’t not go. He tossed the two bags of money down first and then turned back to his team mates.

“You guys wanna get your bags and change?” he asked Shadow and Trace.

“Yeah, that’d be good.” Trace said seeing the apprehension on Dean’s face and knew this was going to be hard on him. 

“Grab mine and we’ll do it up here.” Shadow advised Trace knowing they didn’t need to be down below right now. If Dean needed them, he would let them know. 

“Will do.” Trace nodded following Dean below deck and snagging two bags before heading back up. He saw Nitro standing in the doorway that led to where the bunks were and after seeing the look on her face, moved faster to get out of there. 

“One, we need to talk....” she said softly stepping to Dean who stood in the middle of the room staring at her with dread in his eyes.

“Is he....” he asked in a hoarse voice.

“No, no, he’s still hanging on. I’ve got an IV going and administered a heavy dose of antibiotics.” she answered. “One, I know we don’t talk about our past...But I have to ask, did something tragic happen to him when he was younger? Before you joined up?” she asked stepping closer to him.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Dean questioned frowning down at Two not sure where she was going with this.

“Can you tell me? Please, it's important.” 

Dean drew in a long breath and let it out slowly as he swiped a hand down his face and looked over her head toward the doorway. He could barely hear soft music playing from there and wondered just how bad this was going to be. 

“Sammy was almost thirteen, I was sixteen...” Dean started speaking quietly as the memories of that tragic   
day filled his mind. “Our Mom and him were walking back from the library when a car sped down the street. A guy was shooting wildly out the side window...My Mom threw herself in front of Sammy to protect him. She took the bullets instead of him. When help got there, he was still under her dead body covered in her blood...” Dean paused as tears filled his eyes but he blinked them away and swallowed hard. “Sammy wasn’t injured, but he was catatonic for days afterwards. The docs said it was shock and PTSD. He was never the same after that. We were really close before it happened but later...He....”

“I understand now One.” Nitro said laying a warm hand on his arm. “What you need to know is there are scars on his body that did not come from what they did to him here. These are old scars, years old, they were self inflicted...”

“Hold on! Wait!” Dean growled angrily his eyes flashing their disbelief. “You mean he hurt himself? Are you sure, it couldn't of been someone else doing it to him?”

“I’m sorry, but yes. I’ve had dealings with this before and recognized the scars. They’re mostly on his arms and thighs, makes it easier to hide. I’m thinking he blamed himself for your mother’s death and his only way to deal with that pain was to feel pain too.” she explained watching Dean’s face pale slightly as he gripped hard to her arm for support. “But there’s something else...One this is hard to say...Besides the beatings and whippings, there are signs he was sexually assaulted too.” 

Dean’s face turned a ghostly white. He could feel the bitter, burning bile in the back of his throat, fighting its way to get out and lurched for the stairs, stumbling up them and throwing himself at the railing as he emptied the contents of his stomach over the side in gut wrenching heaves. Shadow and Trace started to move to his side but a signal from Nitro made them stop. She signaled to them to stay back and let her handle this for now and they conceded to her wishes staying back out of the way. They shuffled around nervously not sure how to react since they had never seen Gunny this vulnerable in all the years they had been together. She grabbed a bottle of water and moved to Dean laying a hand on his arm letting him know she was there. Dean was dry heaving now since there wasn’t much in his stomach to throw up to begin with. He spit a few more times trying to get the vile tasting bile from his mouth. 

“It’s ok One.” she said gently, pressing the water into his hand and holding it until she felt him take it. 

Feeling the bottle, Dean brought it to his lips and gulped a large mouth full to swish around and spit out. He sipped several swallows allowing it to run down his raw throat as he tried to catch his breath. After one more sip, he tipped the bottle and pour the remainder over his head, letting it run down his face and neck. The water mixed with his tears as he fought to pull himself together. None of his team had ever seen him like this and they were concerned and worried about him.

Nitro looked at her hand and saw streaks of red on it knowing it was blood. She looked back at Dean’s arm and saw rips in his shirt sleeve. Not bothering to ask, she hooked two fingers in the opening and tore the shirt finding several lacerations and blood seeping from the wounds running down his arm.

“Damn it One! You should of told me you were hurt!” she spat at him. “I need to put a couple of stitches in these to stop the bleeding. Are you good?” she asked trying to get into his line of vision and see his eyes. She could tell so much by looking into her fellow team mate's eyes, things they wouldn’t say out loud even if asked. She saw the deep guilt and hurt in his eyes and knew that he was blaming himself for all that had happened to his brother since his leaving. “Stop in One, I know you’re blaming yourself but it’s not your fault. None of this is. Your brother’s going to need you now more than ever. You’re the only one who can get him through this.”

“He‘s all I‘ve got left.” he whispered pushing himself from the railing and getting his balance with the movement of the boat and started to head back below. 

Nitro followed him down the steps and watched him pause in the doorway to look in on his brother before stepping back out. 

"Sit here and let me clean and stitch your arm, then go set with him." she said pointing to a chair. 

Dean did as he was told and swore out loud when Nitro poured alcohol over the wounds. She was mad and wanted to be sure he knew about it as she smirked. It didn't take her long to put a couple of stitches in the deepest cuts and bandaged his arm. Once she was done, she patted him on the back and stepped out of his way.

Dean went back through the doorway and looked down at his brother. She saw the slump in his shoulders and the tremble of his hand as he pulled the folding chair closer to the bunk. Nitro watched him for a moment longer before slipping back up the steps to give them some privacy.

spn

This was the hardest thing Dean had ever done in the last eight years, except when he left and joined the Marines. Nitro’s phone was still beside his head playing soothing music for Sam. Bruises of different colors dotted his sweaty face and his lips were cracked and flecked with blood. He looked into his brother’s pinched, pale face that he noticed had been washed and recognized the face of a thirteen year old boy broken by his mother’s senseless death. It seemed so unreal that this young man lying on the bunk was his brother. They were strangers to each other now and he hoped his brother would come back to him. He didn’t know if Sam could ever forgive him for leaving; hell he didn’t know if he could forgive himself. He didn’t choose this life for Sam, but if he had been around maybe he could of stopped this from happening and maybe their father would still be alive. Guilt ate at his guts making him feel contempt for himself and self loath. He looked back at the stranger on the bed and sighed helplessly. 

The skin was stretched across Sam's face from lack of adequate sustenance and dehydration. He could still smell the lack of hygiene wafting from his brother’s body knowing only his face and part of his arm had been cleaned. He reached a hand out to touch his face but stopped before it came in contact with his cheek. He studied his exposed arm and saw the old scars below the IV line. They were raised and slightly puckered and a slightly different color than the surrounding skin making them stand out. Dean’s stomach churned and bile threatened to rise into his throat again as he fought to hold it down. He squeezed his hand into a fist and pulled it back to his chest, afraid to touch Sam for fear of disturbing or hurting him. Dean noticed that Sam’s left hand was trembling and clenching into a fist automatically and his eyes moved quickly under his eye lids like he was dreaming or having a nightmare. He wanted to comfort his brother but wasn’t sure what to do. After a few moments, Dean reached and took his brother’s hand and cradled it in his, gently rubbing small circles in Sam’s palm hoping it would help calm him. 

“Hey little brother, I know it’s been a long time, but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.” Dean whispered to him. “You’re safe now and I’m gonna take care of you, get you back on your fe...” he continued stopping as his voice broke at the end. Dean cleared his throat and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat stopping him from speaking and wiped his eyes with his free hand before the tears ran down his face. He knew losing it now would not do his brother any good so he stilled his mind and pushed all the pent up emotions back into a small corner to deal with later. He needed a plan and his mind began to work on what course of action he needed to take. First things first, getting a motel room with a large tub so he could bath his brother and Nitro could patch him up. Second they needed a place to go so Sam could heal; a place away from people but close enough for them to get supplies. A place that was peaceful and tranquil so they could get to know each other again and hopefully maybe become brothers once again. Dean remembered the bond they had growing up and wondered if it could ever be the same again or was that lost to them forever. He didn’t move from his seat as the boat rocked with the rough seas. He heard the others in the joining room but kept quiet, not feeling like talking. Dean could feel Nitro’s eyes on him as she glanced in to see if he was ok. She didn’t venture any further and stepped away whispering quietly to the others. Nitro came in later to change out the IV bag and then left them alone.

spn

“One.” Nitro said softly. “We’re almost back to the harbor, maybe another fifteen minutes.”

“Find us a good motel, one that has a decent tub.” Dean instructed not looking up from his brother. Before she could turn away he spoke again, “Have Trace find me a cabin somewhere up north, maybe Colorado. I want privacy but close enough to a town to get supplies. Have him rent it for at least four months.” 

“Will do One, no problem.” she said smiling briefly at him happy he was planning. That meant he was thinking ahead of the game and working things out. She thought this was a good sign and turned to relay the information to Trace and Shadow. 

The movement of the boat had calmed now as they were getting closer to their destination. A storm was still brewing out at sea and was going to bring rain to the area later in the day. The Flame slowed as she entered the harbor and Red steered her with the current toward the docks and to her slip like she had done hundreds of times before. She watched the two guys jump from the deck and tie off her boat before coming back aboard. She had to admit they were easy on the eyes but neither seemed to flaunt it or act like it. She saw their leader step from below deck and speak to them before handing something over to them. The two nodded and hopped back off the boat to head down the dock. Red left the wheelhouse and watched as Dean and Nitro sat their bags and gear off the boat onto the dock. 

“Thanks for your help.” Nitro said to her, stopping by her side as Dean went below. “You’re a good sister.” 

“So are you, you take care.” Red told her hooking her fingers into her belt loops and staring off down the dock. She saw two cars stop at the end and the guys get out heading back toward them. “You take care of these guys, I think they need it.”

“Yeah, but don’t let them hear you say that.” Nitro chuckled. “They think they’re taking care of me.”

“And you let them think that I bet.” Red laughed watching the two guys gather bags and head for the cars.

“Guess I better help.” Nitro sighed. “And keep the peace.” she commented as Trace pushed Shadow toward the cars and raised voices could be heard. 

“Good luck with that.” 

Nitro headed down the dock to referee between her teammates. Dean stepped up on deck and zeroed in on Red. He stepped to her side and stopped.

“Thank you. We couldn’t of done this without you.” Dean told her holding out his hand to shake hers.

“You’d have found a way, I’m sure of it.” Red replied thinking he didn’t give many compliments like that.

“There’s a little extra here for your silence.” he said holding out two stacks of bills.

“I don’t have to be paid for my silence, it is an unspoken rule.” she stated holding her head a little stiffer slightly insulted with his words.

“No offense meant, I apologize.” Dean replied in a humble voice.

Red took the money and looked at it frowning. She looked back up at the strong, stern face of the one they called One and studied it for a moment seeing the storm that raged in his eyes. She knew he was sincere with this offer but had to at least try to give some back.

“This is much more than I agreed to.” she said shaking her head and holding out some of the money for Dean to take.

“You earned it. Use it for your cause.” Dean stated looking at her with an understanding.

“You are a good man One.” 

“Just don’t spread that around. I’m gonna get by brother and we’re heading out.” he said turning to walk back down the few steps to retrieve Sam. He came back up a few moments later with Sam carefully cradled in his arms, his head resting in the nap of Dean’s neck. The blanket was still wrapped around him and the IV bag was lying on his chest. 

“Need help?” Shadow asked as they got back to the boat.

“No, I got this.” Dean told them pulling Sam closer to his body. This was his little brother and he was his responsibility. Now that he had him, he wasn’t letting him go.

“Enjoyed the boat trip.” Shadow told Red giving her a salute before following alone after Dean.

“Take care. Maybe I‘ll come back for an actual fishing trip.” Trace shrugged giving her a warm smile and mischief look before he hurried to catch up.

“Good to see you again, you be careful out there.” Nitro told her before stepping away.

“You to.” she replied watching her trot down the dock toward the others wondering if she’d ever see her again. 

spn

“Gunny, I got rooms at a motel in Raymondville, it’s about forty miles from here heading north up 77.” Nitro told them when she got closer. “Figured we should put a little distance between us and the port.”

“Good thinking.” Dean responded as he slipped Sam in the back of the Impala, making him as comfortable as he could. He had to bend his long legs to get the door to close. Damn! When did he get so tall? Smart thinking on Nitro’s part knowing they needed to be away from Port Isabel in case questions were asked or unsavory characters came snooping. He wasn’t sure how connected that cartel boss was with the others in Mexico and didn’t want to be around to find out.

“I’ll ride back there with him.” she said going around to the other side to slip into the back and lift Sam’s head into her lap before Dean could protest. She brushed Sam’s dirty, stringy hair from his face and checked his IV seeing the second bag was almost done. Nitro checked his pulse and respiration deciding it seemed a little stronger now that he had gotten some fluids into him. She caught a scent of urine and was glad she thought of the towel knowing it would absorb most of it. Now that he was getting fluids, his output should be better. She was concerned that he hadn’t come to yet, but knew he had been through a very traumatic experience and his mind was trying to protect him by keeping him unconscious.

Dean started to say something, but closed his mouth and nodded to the others to follow him in the other car. He got behind the wheel and cranked the Impala listening to her rumble to life before pulling away from the dock and heading out of town. He wanted to get to the motel and take care of his brother. After glancing in the rear view mirror several times, Dean finally spoke to Nitro.

“How’s he doing?” 

“Slightly better.” she told him humming softly under her breath to Sam. She watched his body tense and relax and jerk sporadically in the confines of the blanket knowing the nightmare was still going on with him.

Each whimper or moan had Dean tensing and turning around to check on them making him press a little harder on the gas pedal wanting to find their motel. Sam cried out again for his father making Dean's heart crack with each pitiful word. Nitro tried to comfort him as best she could, humming and stroking his cheek.

“Do we need to scour up another bag of solution?” 

“Don’t think so, I hope he’ll be coming to soon.” 

“Me too Little Wolf, me too.” he sighed quietly as he rubbed a hand down his face and blinked away the tiredness. He checked to be sure the others were still following before letting his eyes go back to the road ahead of him. A sign finally caught his eyes showing Raymondville was only fifteen miles away. 

“What's the name of the place I need to look for?” Dean asked Nitro making her pause in her humming.

“It’s a mile or so off the interstate, a Fairfield Inn. They had the best rates and I got a handicapped room for us. They have the biggest tubs and extra room. The guys have a double beside us; they don’t have connecting doors anymore.”

“Sounds good, thanks for everything.” he said quietly. 

“Gunny, I would of been very upset if you hadn’t called, you know that. No matter if we’re out or in; we’re still a team and we will always, always have each other’s backs.” she hissed sternly at him doing her best to control her temper. “You know I would of hunted you down and made you regret not calling if you hadn’t.” she said in a lighter tone.

“I believe that Little Wolf.” Dean chuckled under his breath knowing how dangerous she could be if provoked. Shadow and Trace learned that the hard way right after joining the team when they tried to pull a prank on her and never did anything stupid like that again. Their respect for her tripled and they wouldn’t have anyone else watch their back.

“I’ll go in and get the keys; the rooms are in my name....Well one of my names.” Nitro said as a second thought. “I reserved them for two nights with option for another day if needed. Didn’t know how long we’d really need them.” 

“Good.” Dean responded knowing nothing else needed to be said. 

spn

The traffic was moving at a steady pace and picking up as he neared their exit. He saw the information signs and began to check each one as they drew closer. Dean’s fingers tightened on the wheel as he saw the exit was up ahead and signaled so the car behind would know. He let the Impala slow enough to exit from the interstate and roll to a red light at the top of the ramp. Following the signs for motels, Dean found the Fairfield Inn and pulled into the parking lot and to the front of the building where the office sign was lit.

“I’ll be right back.” Nitro told him opening the door and carefully slipping Sam’s head back onto the seat before gently closing the door and heading for the office. 

Dean watched Nitro’s interaction with Sam and how gentle she was with him. This was a side of her she had never let anyone see before. Nitro could be one intense, scary, dangerous s.o.b. that you didn’t wanna cross if you valued your life. Sure, they had seen how fierce and protective she was for her team, but she was acting more motherly toward Sam. He could see her through the plate glass window talking and laughing with the clerk as she got them registered. Even though she had a thing about not being touched, she did have a way of winning people over and making them feel at ease. He looked back at Sam as he shifted in the seat and back up when Nitro opened the passenger door with her arms full of towels.

“I thought we would need some extras and got the clerk to give me some.” she said closing the door. “Go around back and park, I was able to get first floor rooms for us. They’re on the far end actually away from the other guests. Park in the last space and Trace can use the one beside it.”

“Got it. You could of got your own room Little Wolf; it would be ok.”

“And who’s going to help you with your brother?” she questioned like Dean was asking a dumb question.  
“I’ll get the door and give the guys their room key.” 

After Dean got out of the Impala, he went around to the trunk and opened it to take their bags in first and then he’d get Sammy. 

“Why don’t you two grab a hot shower and some sack time, you both deserve it.” he told Shadow and Trace. 

“That does sound like a good idea.” Shadow yawned as he stretched his arms over his head and grunted when he stretched. 

“Yeah, it does. After we catch some zzz’s why don’t we get us some food and bring it over?” Trace suggested as he grabbed a bag and tossed it to Shadow and then got his. 

“Guys before you get too settled would you run to a store and pick up some clothes for Sam?” Nitro asked. “All you guys are too big for him to borrow any and he’d probably feel more comfortable if he had some that fit and didn’t fall off him.” 

“I can do that...” Dean started but was interrupted by her.

“We need to get him cleaned up and doctored Gunny, it won’t kill them to do it. Get a pair of sweats, tee shirt, briefs, toothbrush and paste and socks. I really don’t think he’s gonna mind for a while what he wears. Oh and maybe a couple of ginger ales and some Gatorade.” 

“No problem Ni we can do that.” Shadow nodded setting his bag in the motel room and turning back to the car. 

Nitro stepped up beside Shadow and whispered quietly to him where the others couldn’t hear then stepped away toward the room.

“Yeah, we’ll find a place and get the kid some clothes.” Trace agreed locking their room door and stepping back to the car. “We shall return.” 

spn

Dean grabbed the bags of money from the trunk of the car and took them into the room storing them in the closet for now. He gave the room a once over and stuck his head in the bathroom to see Nitro was right about it being more spacey, especially the bathroom. He nodded his approval and went to the car to get his brother out. He was careful about pulling Sam out and shifting him so he could carry him inside and lay him on one of the queen size beds. 

“Let me use the bathroom and change pants and we’ll get started.” Nitro said opening her bag and searching for a pair of cotton shorts. She headed for the bathroom and closed the door partway leaving Dean alone in the room with Sam. 

After Nitro stepped into the bathroom, Dean shed his jacket and outer shirt then rummaged around in his bag for some sweats. He changed out of his black pants to the sweats figuring it would be more comfortable for the task ahead of them. Dean looked around the room for a moment making a plan when Nitro stepped from the bathroom and looked at him a look of anticipation on her face.

“Let me take out the cannula from his arm so it’ll be out of the way and we’ll get started.”

“I think we can use one of the chairs from the table.” Dean explained moving to pick up the chair and take it into the bathroom sitting it beside the tub. “We can sit Sammy in the chair and tilt it back so you can wash his hair first. Once that’s done then I’ll put him in the tub to bath him.”

“Sounds like a plan Gunny.” Nitro answered tossing the IV bag and cannula into the trash and holding a pad firmly over the wound to control the bleeding. She checked it after a minute to be sure the bleeding had stopped before stepping back to let Dean unwrap his brother from the blanket.

“Might as well toss the blanket.” she commented smelling urine on it. “And the towel.”

“Yeah, I agree.” he nodded wrinkling his nose from the odor. He tossed the items aside and looked down at Sam’s lanky, skinny frame, noticing how his bones stuck out and his skin was stretched taut over them. Now that he was out of the blanket, Dean could just make out the darker shades of bruising covering his dirty body like a patchwork quilt. He seemed mesmerized, not able to look away at the damage done to his brother. 

“You ready?” she asked breaking his trance.

“Yeah.” he replied pulling himself back to the present. Being careful, Dean slipped one arm under Sam’s shoulders and the other under his knees and picked him up noticing now how light he felt. He walked to the bathroom, being careful not to hit Sam’s head as he stepped inside. Dean felt Nitro following behind him as he sat Sam’s limp body into the chair by the tub getting him balanced so he wouldn't fall out. He took a bath towel and laid over him to keep him from getting chilled.

“It’ll be easier if I’m in the tub where I can reach his head better.” she decided reaching down to take off her socks before stepping in the tub. She turned on the water letting it warm up before removing the shower head holding it down before switching the water to it.

“I’ll tilt the chair and hold him if you can support his head.” Dean instructed her moving the chair enough so it could be tilted back easier. He used his leg to keep the chair in place and from moving any further.

Nitro cupped her free hand under Sam’s neck as Dean pushed the chair back on two legs while holding Sam in place in it. She pushed Sam’s hair back from his face and used the shower head to wet it watching the water turn dirty brown as it ran down the drain. Dean handed her the shampoo and she squirted a blob onto his head before handing him the shower head to hold. She used both hands to work the lather into his hair trying to carefully work the tangles out without pulling out his hair.

“Oh yeah gonna need more than one shampooing.” she mumbled more to herself than Dean. After rinsing the suds out, she put more shampoo on the hair and massaged it in again working slowly and cautiously trying to break up the knots in the hair. 

spn

Without any warning, Sam started to thrash around, crying out and weakly and slinging his arms wildly, catching Dean in the face and leaving a thin line of blood from a scratch before he could stop him. Dean dropped the shower head dousing Nitro with the spray as he quickly straddled the chair to hold Sam in place and to keep it from sliding out from under him while a miffed and wet Nitro flipped the water off and caught Sam’s flaying arms, holding them easily near his head as she glared at Dean while water ran down her face and hair clung to one cheek. Dean trapped Sam’s hot face between his hands and stopped it from rolling from side to side so he could get his attention on him.

"Dad!" Sam cried out weakly. "No!....Don't!..." he pleaded as his eyes flitted around out of focus. Tears dripped from his eyes as he covered Dean's hand with his dirty ones, clinging to him in sheer desperation. 

“Hey! Hey! Calm down tiger.” Dean told him getting down into his line of sight. He watched Sam’s eyes wildly bounce around the room looking like a frightened, cornered animal whose only thoughts were escape. “Sammy...Sam...Look at me.” Dean commanded, giving his head a slight shake trying to get him to focus on him. When Sam heard his name, he stilled and looked at the blurred face that was in his line of sight. “Do you know me?” Dean asked slowly, his body tense waiting for Sam’s response.


	6. Chapter 6

When Nitro felt Sam calming, she let go of his hands and grabbed a washcloth to wipe the suds from his forehead before they ran into his eyes. She knew how that would burn and hurt and Sam had had enough pain and hurt for now and didn't want to cause any more. She listened to the one sided conversation, holding her breath waiting for Sam to answer his brother. Nitro knew it had been a long time since Sam had seen Dean and wasn't sure how he was going to react.

The last memories Sam had was of being beaten and sexually assaulted by one of the guards before he passed out in a cell in Mexico. Bright lights hurt his eyes when he finally pried them open enough to see a hazy dark shape. He could feel his body being held in a sitting position and his head titled backwards with someone doing something to him. Sam struck out as hard as he could, trying to get away from whoever was holding him. He felt someone grab his wrists and weight applied across his lower body holding him down as he panted hard from the exertion. Terror and panic gripped him fearing he was being attacked again. A voice broke through his panicked thoughts calling his name and he stopped struggling, letting his eyes stop jerking around and try to focus on the stranger that was in front of him. But yet as his vision partly cleared, there was something hauntingly familiar about that blurry face and those green eyes. He squinted hard and looked again, zeroing in on those green eyes. His brain worked hard to catch up to what he was seeing as he slowly raised a hand and tried to get his mouth to work. He tried to work up enough spit to dampen his parched mouth and pry his sandpaper tongue from the roof of it, but all he managed was a weak, hoarse gurgle that didn't sound like much. 

"Hold on." Dean said turning to the sink to unwrap a glass and fill it half full with cold water. He turned back to Sam holding the glass in front of him ready to give him some water. 

Sam's eyes locked on the glass with the clear liquid in it and he lurched forward clamping both his hands around Dean's trying to pull it to his mouth. Had it not been for Nitro's quick reflexes, the brothers would of toppled backwards to the bathroom floor, but she fisted a hand full of Dean's tee shirt and jerked Dean toward her until he was steady again before letting go.

"Thanks." he mumbled to her as he struggled with his brother to keep them both from falling. "Easy bro, you can have some water, just not so...." 

Sam tilted the glass upwards letting the water gush into his mouth. While most went down his chin and soaked his chest, he was able to get a few swallows down his raw throat before some went down the wrong way sending him into a fit of coughing and wheezing. Dean pulled the glass away and out of his grasp, handing it off to Nitro before pulling him forward over one arm and smacking between Sam's shoulder blades to try and help.

"....That happens." Dean continued with a sigh. "C'mon you gotta breathe." he encouraged listening as Sam finally got a wheezy, raspy intake of air into his lungs. 

Sam coughed hard again until he could pull a short breath in and clear his lungs. Putting up that fight had taken everything out of him and he sat limply and despondent in the chair just trying to catch his breath. The glass came back into view and he put one hand over the one holding the glass and allowed it to guide the glass to his lips.

Dean started to stop Sam from holding Nitro's hand until she shook her head no and allowed him to do it. Nitro would allow some to touch her, but she had to instigate it herself. Dean nodded his thanks knowing she was doing this for him.

"Let's try this again, but a little slower this time." she said softly as she tilted the glass slightly to let a small amount of water run into Sam's mouth. "That's it Pup, just a little, don't want you getting sick now do we?" she continued, talking soothingly to him. "Alright, that's enough for now. Let's see if we can finish getting you cleaned up?" 

Sam looked back at the guy holding him up and brought his hand up to rest on Dean's arm. He looked into those green eyes he remembered so well growing up and wet his lips before he was able to get out one syllable.

“D...” he finally got out in a raspy, rough voice before his eyes went out of focus and glazed over and closed as his head fell slowly forward on his chest and the darkness claimed him once again.

"Is he alright Little Wolf?" Dean asked cupping his cheek and looking closely at his brother, looking for signs of consciousness.

Nitro checked the pulse in his neck and felt his respiration before answering in a calm, assuring voice.

“He’s fine, the exertion zapped what little strength he had. It’s good that he woke up, but you can probably expect this zoning in and out until he’s gained some strength back. Let me get the water going again and finish up with his hair.” she assured him starting the water again and waiting for it to get to the right temp before stepping back into the tub and picking up the shower head. She switched the water flow and moved back to Sam rinsing the shampoo out of his hair. Nitro got the conditioner and squirted a generous amount on Sam’s head and started working it into his hair. She shut the water off again and used her fingers like a comb.

“Dean look in my bag and get me my wide tooth comb and scissors. I’m afraid I may have to trim some of these rat’s nest out.” she told him accepting the comb and scissors.

“Hair can grow back, do whatever you need to and maybe trim his beard a little. No use trying to shave him.” 

Nitro worked on Sam’s hair for another twenty minutes until she could run the comb through it with ease. Once she rinsed it out, she took a towel and dried it as best she could. She leaned over and flipped the lever allowing the water to start gathering in the tub. After stepping from the tub, she positioned herself in front of Sam and combed his scraggly beard before trimming it up. She stepped back and cocked her head to check her handiwork and turned to Dean with a ‘what do you think?’ look.

“Looks good for now. If you’ll take the chair back to the other room, I’ll finish bathing him.” Dean told her reaching down to pick Sam up so she could move the chair.

“Alright.” she said picking up the chair.

“I’ll have you look at his back after I get it cleaned.”

“Shadow is getting me some more peroxide, they should be back soon.” she told him. “Gunny...Please ask if you need help, we’re family here and family takes care of each other.” Nitro continued before pulling the door closed except for a four inch gap so she could hear if he called.

There was no doubt in Dean’s mind she meant what she said and knew she was right. They might not know his little brother, but he was their family now too and that comforted him to know he was not alone in this. After joining up, Dean was a loner and didn't join in with the others for nights on the town or drinking. He worked hard to be the best Marine he could by training harder, studying harder, working harder and being sure whatever was required of him, he went above and beyond. When he was assigned his team things changed for him. He had others besides himself to watch out for and they earned his trust and loyalty as he did their's. Each viewed the other as a team member, close friend, as family. Dean allowed them into his life and would always consider them family forever.

spn

Nitro sat the chair back at the table and looked toward the door when several quiet taps alerted her to someone at the door. She pulled a hand gun from her bag and stepped to the door to unlock it. Shadow and Trace stood waiting outside with bags in their hands.

“I think we got everything.” Trace said stepping in and sitting his bags on the table. 

“And a little extra.” Shadow added putting his down beside the others. 

“There’s clothes here and we got some bouillon crystals, crackers, Jell-O, what kid doesn’t like Jell-O, right, and some kind of protein crap Shadow found since we figured he won’t be eating solids for a while. There’s peroxide in there too and extra large gauze pads, tooth brush and paste and those other things you asked for.”

“You guys did good, now go get some rest and we’ll see you later. Oh and bring me a large salad with grilled chicken and ranch dressing when you bring food and a root beer.”

“Noted.” Shadow replied. “C’mon let’s go grab some sack time.” 

“Call us if you need anything.” Trace told her before they left for their room next door.

Nitro looked through the bags pulling out navy sweats and the Depends briefs and baby wipes she had Shadow get. Right now Sam was not able to go to the bathroom and was still going in and out of consciousness so he needed these. She took the Depends along with the sweats, toothbrush and paste and sat them inside the bathroom.

“Gunny, you need to use these for Sam until he’s more alert.” she called to Dean from the doorway. “And see if maybe you can brush his teeth, might make him feel better.”

Dean turned to see what she was talking about and saw the package and turned his head sideways to read the front, Depends. He frowned and used his foot to pull it toward him for closer inspection. Ok....Adult diapers...he thought looking down at his unconscious brother thinking, Dude...You gotta do what you gotta do. He also saw a pack of baby wipes and thought for a moment about their use before wrinkling his nose hoping his little brother wasn't shy.

She found the peroxide and bandages and laid them aside for now and put some of the drinks in the small fridge to chill. Nitro turned down one of the beds for Sam and sat on it waiting for Dean to let her know she was needed. An instinct woke deep down in her soul that she had never felt before. She felt a special closeness to the young man and wanted to protect Sam from the evils of the world. Maybe it was because of what he had been through and the tragic loss he suffered at an early age. Maybe she saw a little of someone else in him and didn't want to lose this time. Now his father was gone too and she didn’t know how that news was going to affect him. Would it push him over the edge of no return or could Gunny keep him grounded and help him cope? She wanted to talk to Gunny about the self harm Sam had inflicted on himself so he could understand the reasoning and meaning behind it. He didn’t know it, but she wasn’t leaving them just yet, no matter what he said. Everyone on the team knew how stubborn she could when she set her mind on something.

spn

After Nitro stepped from the room, Dean sat Sam in the tub of warm water, briefs and all. He fixed a folded towel behind his neck for comfort before grabbing a washcloth and soap. Once the cloth was soaped good, he started with Sam’s arms and began to gently wash them. He got under his arms and between his fingers as he watched the clean water start turning a brownish, reddish color and a greasy film formed on the top. Once he got the worse of the dirt, blood and grim off Sam, Dean was going to run more water to wash his back and finish cleaning him. He watched the water level as he searched his bathroom bag for fingernail clippers. When the tub looked half full, he shut the water off and started clipping Sam’s ragged nails and cleaning the dirt from under them. The more dirt he removed from Sam's body, the more bruises, in different stages of healing, began to show all over his body. He was looking like a patchwork quilt that had been torn in places. He had been beaten numerous times, but they had been careful not to inflict enough torture to break any bones. Dean figured if he had broken bones then they couldn't work him in the fields to harvest the drug crops. He clenched his jaw and drew in deep breaths wanting to kill those bastards all over again for what they did to Sam. He lovingly brushed his damp hair from his face thankful he was still alive and safe now. 

“Sammy...Bro...Hey....I’m gonna try and brush your teeth sport.” Dean told him patting his cheek to see if he would stir before putting paste on the toothbrush. He gently pulled down on Sam’s chin to open his sagging mouth and started brushing his teeth slowly and carefully. “I remember doing this when we were kids, you never could stand still so I got foam all over your face.” Dean reminisced his lips twitching into a half smile. He used a finger to carefully push down a little more on his lower jaw so he could brush his tongue. “Alright, now let’s see if we can rinse.” he said turning to get a glass of water. “Sammy don’t swallow ok, just let it run out. I’m going to rinse your teeth.” Dean moved Sam’s head a little to the side and poured some water into the side of his open mouth trying to keep it from going down his throat. He moved his head the other way and did the same. As a final step, he wet a clean washcloth and wiped it over his teeth and tongue hoping he got most of the foam and paste out. “Now let’s get the rest of you clean.” Dean washed his chest and stomach before moving to his legs. He cut his toe nails before washing his feet and working his way upwards. He reached to remove the too large briefs, slipping them over his hips when Sam splashed water as his eyes fluttered briefly and he whimpered in fright trying to get away. 

“It’s ok little bro, I’m not going to hurt you.” Dean told him placing a hand on his chest to stop him from trying to rise up. “I’m just cleaning you up.” He started to hum to him waiting for him to relax before continuing. He watched Sam’s body ease back into the water with the humming and finished taking off the briefs leaving them in the water. After quickly cleaning the rest of his body, but his back, Dean let the dirty water out before running more. He leaned Sam forward, supporting him with an arm across his chest as he looked at his back. Dean soaped the cloth again and began to gently rub it over the whip marks removing the dirt, dried blood and pieces of the shirt that had dried into the wound. He rinsed and repeated the process with each stripe mark across his back. New blood seeped from some of the deeper whip marks as he finished cleaning the last one. 

“Little Wolf!” he called for her.

“Yes?” she asked sticking her head in the door.

“You wanna check his back and clean the wounds with peroxide?”

“I’ve just been waiting for you to ask.” Nitro said picking up the items and coming back into the bathroom.

“I’ve cleaned them the best I can...” 

“You did good; let me pour some of this over them to finish cleaning them.” 

Nitro knelt by the tub and opened the peroxide. She tipped the bottle and let the cold liquid run down his back soaking the lacerations and watching it bubble in some of the areas. They sat and waited for the bubbling to stop and she poured more until there was no bubbling. She checked each one seeing if any stitching needed to be done and was happy none were that deep. Dean let the water out and Nitro dried Sam’s back applying strips where needed. After they put ointment on the whip marks, she would cover the worse places with pads. Dean was careful getting Sam up out of the tub and sitting him on the commode so he could dry his body and slip on Depends briefs and sweats. 

“You need to lay him on his stomach or his side.” she told him. “There needs to be some ointment put on them and his...His bottom needs to be checked. I can do it...”

“No, I will.” Dean stated laying Sam on his stomach on the bed. This was his brother and he was going to take care of him and nurse him back to health. After that, he didn’t know, that was still up in the air right now. He could only think about the present, not about the future.

“Put these gloves on first.” she said holding out latex gloves for him. “Start with his back and go ahead and put it alone each laceration, then his bottom. The abuse looks fresh so he didn't endure it very long, for that we can be thankful.” 

Dean pulled the tight gloves on to his hands and picked up the ointment tube, squeezing some on the tip of his finger. Dean was careful as he smeared the white cream over the whip marks working his way down Sam’s back. Nitro followed Dean and put pads on the deepest wounds and taped them down. Once he was done with the back, Dean stopped and drew in a breath as he reached to pull his sweats and briefs down over his bottom, exposing it. Dean looked at the redness, bruising, and scratches across his butt cheeks and a rage washed over him that he tried to control.

"Remember Gunny, we got them, they paid for what they did to him." Nitro whispered when she saw and felt the anger brewing in him. "It's over now." She watched the anger dissipate as his eyes cleared and he blinked rapidly knowing he had to finish up.

Sam seemed to know something was going on and started to move trying to pull himself away from Dean. He whimpered and sobbed softly not knowing Dean was only trying to help. He tried to pull himself away by fisting the sheet to try and move. He wasn’t coherent enough to be fully awake as he faded in and out of consciousness.

“Easy Pup, it’s ok.” Nitro cooed to him. She slipped onto the bed and tried to turn him on his side. “Help me Gunny. I’ll hold him.” 

Dean helped position Sam so he was on his side with his back to him and Nitro pulled him into her arms as she began to hum softly into his ear while rubbing his arm to comfort him. She nodded for Dean to continue now that Sam calmed a little. She could still feel him trembling in her arms as Dean bent his legs slightly allowing him access to his bottom. He tried to be as gentle as possible as he squirted more cream onto his finger and rubbed it around his raw anus and pressed gently to get his finger inside with the cream. Sam sobbed into Nitro’s neck and stiffened his entire body until Dean was done. 

“All done Pup. We only did that to help you heal.” she told him as she brushed his hair from his face. She watched Dean pull his briefs and sweats back in place before stripping off the gloves and throwing them away. “You rest now Pup. You’re safe, I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” she told him with such conviction it made Dean stop for a moment to look at her. He had never seen her like this before and wondered if her mothering instincts were kicking in for his brother. 

“You can have the bathroom first.” he told her as she slipped from the bed.

“Well since I got half a shower earlier, I shouldn’t be long.” she teased him only to get a bitchy face from Dean. She grabbed some clean clothes and stepped into bathroom closing the door behind her.

spn

After covering Sam’s body with a blanket and tucking him in, Dean stretched and popped his back in relief. He went to the closet and pulled out a duffel with money in it and set it on the table. He pulled a knife out and cut through the plastic holding bundles of hundred dollar bills and began to make three stacks across the table. Dean didn’t bother to count it as he divided it up into neat stacks and snagged three plastic bags from a small pile in the floor and put each stack of money in a different bag, folding and tying them shut. He knew his team wasn’t expecting any payment, but wanted to give them something for their help. He sat the three bags on the dresser as Nitro stepped from the bathroom combing her damp hair.

“Your turn Gunny, I saved a couple of towels for you.” 

“Thanks, you’re always taking care of one of us.”

“Who else will?” she shrugged. “Is Pup still ok?” 

“He hasn’t moved since we put him to bed.” Dean said looking over at Sam‘s sleeping form.

“Get a shower and lay down, you look like you’re ‘bout ready to drop in your tracks.” she insisted. “I’ll take care of Pup for you, don’t worry and I need to check your arm too. It looks like the bandages need changing.” 

“You’re right, I am pretty wiped out.” he said with a sigh going to his bag for sleep clothes and looking at the bloody bandage on his arm. He looked one more time toward the bed before stepping into the bathroom to get a hot shower. He dropped his sleep clothes on the counter and stripped out of his dirty ones before turning on the water in the shower. Dean pulled the bandage off his arm and dropped it in the trash. He left it as hot as he could stand and stepped under the spray letting it beat on his head and neck. He leaned against the wall of the shower with both hands planted against it breathing deeply as he tried to control the emotions raging in him. There was so much spinning around in his head it felt like it was going to explode. He could feel the pounding with each beat of his heart making him feel lightheaded and sick. Dean knew he couldn’t lose it now; he had to be strong for both of them. Hoping the shower and some sleep would alleviate the pain; he quickly finished his shower and slipped on his clothes before heading back into the bedroom.

“Sit, let me see.” Nitro commanded holding out a chair by the table. She had the items needed already laid out on the table ready to use. 

With a resounding huff, Dean did as he was told and dropped into the chair to let her doctor his arm. He knew that tone of voice and knew it wouldn’t do any good to argue with her. He sat still while Nitro checked the laceration, cleaned it and re-bandaged it before stepping back to let him up.

“Go lay down.” she whispered softly guiding him toward the free bed. She didn’t get any resistance from Dean as he let her lead him to the bed. He sat down and swung his legs up onto the mattress and tried to let his body relax knowing he needed the rest.

spn

The light was fading and darkness wasn’t far away when knocking had Dean sitting up in his bed ready for a fight. He saw Nitro rise quickly from Sam’s bed where she had been propped against the headboard and go to the door with gun in hand. She had been watching over them while they rested.

“It’s us.” a muffled voice said from the other side of the door. “Got food.”

She opened the door to admit Shadow and Trace with bags of food and drinks. They headed for the table and sat the bags down and began to take out food. Dean got up and looked at Sam for a moment to be sure he was ok before heading for the bathroom. When he came out the food was laid out on the table and an empty seat was waiting for him. He took the seat and looked at the food placed there for him trying to determine if he could eat or not. Dean picked up a large tea and took a swallow of the cold, sweet liquid first to wet his throat.

“You gotta eat Gunny.” Shadow said noticing Dean hadn’t touched the food yet.

“I found you a nice cabin, two bedrooms, two and a half baths in the southeastern part of Colorado. It’s isolated like you wanted. The nearest town is an hour and half away and the nearest neighbor is about seven miles away by road but four miles if you go across the lake. I put a deposit down on it and will wire the remainder if you approve.” Trace explained as he waved a French fry around as he talked. He gave Shadow a sideways look and a subtle unspoken message passed between them that Dean didn't see, but Nitro did. She looked between the two wondering what they were cooking up, but didn't say anything.

“Sounds good. Go ahead and wire the money.” Dean approved with a nod. “Take it from one of my accounts.”

“Will do.” he said popping the fry in his mouth. "The motel has a couple of computers hooked to printers so I'll print you out all the details and directions for the place. The realtor will leave the keys in a lockbox on the door for you since I didn't know when you would get there."

They all looked toward the bed when groaning and mumbling got their attention. Dean started to get up, but Nitro beat him and went to the bed mumbling something to Sam. She went to the fridge and got a Gatorade and looked around for a straw until Shadow handed her one. 

“I’m gonna see if he can drink something.” she told them going back to the bed and holding the drink for Sam, trying to get him to drink. They could hear the pitch of her voice change as she urged the young man to sip the drink. 

“That’s interesting.” Trace mumbled under his breath as he watched Nitro stroke Sam’s head, smoothing out his hair. 

“She’s always taking care of us; guess she’s got a new project.” Shadow shrugged. “You know how she can be if one of us gets hurt.”

“I need you two to do one more thing for me.” Dean said as he finally picked up a fry and bit it in half. "I asked before, but this time it won't be a problem."

“Whatever you need Gunny.”

“Will you take the Chevy back to her owner? He’s a family friend lives in Sioux Falls and runs a salvage yard, Singer Salvage.”

“No problem, we’ll be glad to.” Trace said looking over at Shadow a secret passing between them.

“I’ve got something for you guys.” Dean got up and picked up the three bags he had prepared earlier. “For your troubles and help.” he said sliding a bag toward Shadow and Trace and the last toward Nitro’s empty seat. “This'll give you time to decide what you guys want to do and you won't have to worry about money for a while.” 

“I got him to drink almost half a bottle before he zoned back out.” Nitro said sitting back down at the table. “What’s this?” she asked looking at the bag by her plate and noticed that the other two also had like bags.

“Something for your trouble.” Dean shrugged. “Shadow and Trace are going to return the borrowed car, I’m sure they can give you a ride...”

“Why do I need a ride?” she interrupted him before he could continue.

“The mission’s over, you guys can go back to whatever you were doing before I called.” he told them. “I’ll take my brother and head for the cabin.”

“Like hell you will.” Nitro growled. “You still need my help. I am the medic of the group and Sam still needs medical care, besides who’s going to watch him when you need to get supplies? You gonna take him out in public? You don’t know how long it’ll be before he’s able to even walk, let along take care of himself. Oh no Gunny, you’re stuck with me.” she stated firmly giving him a death stare daring him to contradict her. 

“I can’t ask that of you Little Wolf, you’ve done enough.”

“You told us we're family and we take care of our own. Besides, I have nothing else pressing I need to get back to. I just need to make one call and I’m good. Now that that’s settled, you need to eat.” 

Dean sat there a shocked look on his face listening to her bark at him and ordering him around. What she said made sense, but he would not take advantage of his team. He knew they had their own lives now and didn’t want to interfere in it no more than he had to. 

“Eat or am I gonna have to feed you?” she questioned sternly. 

“I’d do as she said Gunny, feeding you might get ugly.” Trace suggested hiding his smirk behind his sandwich. They all thought Nitro was the toughest of all of them and treated her with the respect she deserved. It didn't matter she was a female, she could hold her own with the best of them. 

“Ok, ok...I give...” he conceded holding his hands up for a moment before picking up the sandwich and taking a bite. As soon as the flavors hit his taste buds, his stomach growled loudly making the others laugh. He didn’t realize how hungry he was until he started eating and chuckled along with their laughter as he chewed his food and swallowed. 

“We’ll head out in the morning and return the car for you.” Shadow told them changing the subject. 

“Should we give Sammy one more day before heading out?” Dean questioned Nitro.

“Probably wouldn’t hurt.” she said forking a bite of salad and chicken and putting it in her mouth. “Dean why don’t you try to get him to drink some more after you finish eating. The more we can get in him the quicker he’ll start recovering. Sam‘s drifting back and forth right now. I‘ll give him another shot of antibiotics in a few hours to help fend off further infection.” Nitro didn’t want Dean to feel she was pushing him away from his brother and knew he needed to feel useful and wanted to care for him.

“I’ll do that.” he nodded sipping his drink before eating more fries.

“You might even try a little Jell-O if he seems awake enough.”

“Not green I hope.”

“Naw dude green sucks.” Trace grimaced. “I got the good stuff.” he said nodding his head and smiling knowingly.

Gunny looked at him like he had lost it, Shadow just shook his head in embarrassment and rolled his eyes and Nitro just looked at him with arched eyebrows before giggling at his antics.

“What?” Trace asked not sure what they were making fun of. 

“Nothing bro, I'll explain it to you later.” 

“Can I borrow someone’s cell?” Dean asked to have three cells thrust at him. “Thanks.” he said taking the nearest one. “I’ll be right back.” Dean got up and stepped from the room to make a call. He heard the ringing at the other end and hoped Bobby was home.

“H’llo.” a familiar gruff voice answered.

“Bobby, it’s Dean, I found him.” he said quietly.

“Thank God! How bad is he Dean?” Bobby asked cautiously.

“It’s bad, but he’s alive.” Dean sighed. “I’m sending your car back with a couple of friends I served with. They’ll be heading out in the morning and it’ll probably take them a couple of days to get there. I’m taking Sammy to a cabin I’ve rented. He needs time to heal and we need time to get to know each other again.”

“I don’t need to know where you take him, but will you call if you need me?”

“Of course. I don’t know how long it’ll take...”

“The doors always open to both of you son, just get yer brother healthy and come home when you can.” 

“Thanks Bobby, that means a lot.” 

“There’ll always be a place here for both of you whenever you need it.”

“I’ll be in touch.” Dean said hanging up as a lump caught in his throat from Bobby’s kindness. He leaned against the Impala and looked out at the night sky watching the stars in the heavens while he gathered his thoughts. He stayed out there for nearly thirty minutes before taking a couple of deep, slow breaths and heading back inside. “Thanks.” he told Shadow handing back his cell. “I let Bobby know you’re bringing the car back. He can be a little cantankerous and ornery but he’s a good man and helped my family out when they needed it.”

“Don’t worry; I’ll keep Trace in line.” Shadow assured him only to get a ketchup coated fry tossed at him from Trace.

“Speak for yourself.” Trace pouted, insulted by his remark.

“Awe you know we love you anyway.” Nitro cooed to Trace.

Dean chuckled as he picked up the Gatorade bottle and got a Jell-O out of the fridge to see if he could get Sam to eat some. He walked over to the bed and sat the things on the nightstand so he could move Sam over in the bed to sit down. 

“Hey Sammy think you can wake up for me?” Dean asked him softly as he rubbed his shoulder and patted his cheek. “Got ya something to drink and a little Jell-O if you think you can eat some.” He watched Sam’s eyes flutter and heard a soft groan from him as he rolled his head and opened his mouth slightly a few times.  
“Here bro can you drink a little?” Dean asked as he placed the straw between his lips waiting to see if he would drink any. He watched the straw and saw Sam pull some liquid into his mouth and swallow. His eyes partly opened once but fell back closed. “That’s good bro; this is a little Jell-O you don’t have to chew or anything.” Dean kept up the one sided conversation as he put a small piece of Jell-O in Sam’s mouth and watched closely to be sure he didn’t choke before giving him another bite. Not wanting to give him too much, Dean put one more bite in his mouth before letting him drink some more. “You did good Sammy. Drink a little more and I’ll let you rest.” he told him watching closely as Sam swallowed some more Gatorade. “Let’s make sure that stays down and I’ll give you a little more later.” Dean adjusted Sam’s blanket over him and ran a finger down his cheek and frowned when Sam pulled away from it. He mumbled something Dean couldn’t understand as he tried to turn over. “Hold on bro, let me help.” Dean moved the pillows from behind him and rolled Sam to his stomach first and then got him up on his side putting the pillows back to keep him off his back. He made sure Sam looked comfortable before stepping away.

“We’re gonna head back to our room, watch a little TV or sleep.” Shadow said gathering up trash and getting up.

“Yeah, I could do with a little more sleep.” Trace commented doing the same. “You know where to find us.”

“See you in the morning.” Dean replied.

“Night guys.” Nitro called while cleaning up the other trash. 

Dean turned on the television and adjusted the volume before quickly flipping through the channels finally stopping on an old movie. He stretched out on his bed and watched Nitro go to the closet looking for a blanket and pillow. 

“The bed’s big enough; no need you sleeping on the couch.” Dean told her patting the other side of his bed. “Might as well be comfortable.” 

“Didn’t want to intrude.” she said hesitating in joining him. 

“We’ve been through too much together for you to ever think you’re intruding. Now settle down and let’s watch this movie.” Dean insisted. 

“You’re right, this is by far much better than some of the places we had to sleep.” she finally agreed sitting down at the foot of the bed to take off her boots before crawling up it and settling down beside Dean, far enough away that they didn't touch. In less than fifteen minutes they had both drifted into a light sleep as the low noises of racing cars filled the room. 

A/N: Before you ask, yes Sam and Dean will have there one on one in the last chapter and decisions will be made. It looks like this short will only be 10 chapters, 11 at the most. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Comments are always welcome, please take a moment and leave one. NC


	7. Chapter 7

Warning: I do discuss why a person might do self harm in this chapter. If this is a trigger for you have marked the small section with ** if you would like to skip that part. If you would like a summary, please pm me. NC

Chapter 7

Fog clouded his mind as he tried to remember where he was and what had happened to him. Intense pain radiated through his body from his head to his feet from the beatings he had taken from the guards. Bits and pieces of memories skated around the outskirts of his mind as faces he didn’t know flashed by and a small, dark, cramped, space that he could barely breath in surfaced for a moment before vanishing and a hot, damp, stinky, dirty room took its place. His body was carelessly tossed into the cell onto the hard rock floor. He couldn’t move and had to work hard on drawing in a shallow breath while coughing from the dust and rotten straw strewn over the floor. Sam tossed his head back and forth and his sweaty, trembling body jerked with the memories of his torture. His breathing quickened and panic set in as other much worse ones forces their way to the front of his mind. The guards thought it was funny to trip him or give him rotten food and dirty water to drink. They gave him enough to keep him alive and able to work, but just barely. If he slowed or didn’t do what he was told the sting of a whip lashed out cutting into his back with a painful reminder who was in control. He clenched his jaw until he thought it would break, but he wouldn’t cry out or give them the satisfaction of showing his pain. The Mexicans from the village that were enslaved there were treated no better, but did try to sneak him a morsel of bread or tortilla shell when they could. Then one of the guards took too much of an interest in him and decided to visit him one night. He weakly fought against his attacker but couldn’t stop him from sexually assaulting him. Sam cried out and fought the imaginary attacker as strong hands grabbed his upper arms trying to calm him. He could hear a voice calling out to him from far away and continued to struggle until darkness raced across his mind sending him down into the abyss of nothingness where the pain disappeared. 

spn

With the first whimper and thrashing from the other bed had Dean instantly awake and by his brother’s side. He grabbed his arms and tried to hold him down as Sam struggled and cried out trying to fight him. Dean saw the vacant, dull, empty look in his eyes and knew whatever Sam was seeing was something only he could see. He made out a couple of words, ‘No, no! Stop!’ and then just whimpers and sobs until he stopped breathing.

“Hey! Hey Sammy take it easy, you’re having a nightmare.” Dean tried to assure him. “C’mon bro snap out of it, you gotta breath.” he insisted when he saw Sam’s face turning red and his breathing stopped after one rattling breath. “Sammy! Damnit breath!” Dean yelled shaking him only to have his head roll side to side like a limp noodle.

“Gunny move now!” Nitro said pushing him aside as she started examining Sam. She checked his pulse and respiration before jerking his upper body up and giving a sharp slap between his shoulder blades making Sam wheeze in a short breath. “That’s it Pup, take another one.” she encouraged letting Sam’s head rest on her shoulder as she carefully rubbed his back. 

Dean let the breath he was holding out when he heard the raspy intake of air by his brother. He brushed a hand down his face and rested both elbows on his knees as he leaned over to lay his head in his hands. He pulled in a couple of deep breaths before looking back as the two of them.

“Is he okay?” 

“I think he was having a panic attack in whatever nightmare he was having. He forgot how to breath.” she replied gently rocking Sam’s unconscious body and humming to him again. “Might as well expect something like this for a while Gunny. He’s been through so much trauma his mind can’t handle it all. It’s gonna take a lot of patience and understanding with him. Just don’t give up on him, you hear me? Don’t you ever give up on him or you’ll answer to me.” she said giving him an ‘I’m not messing around here’ look.

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I wasn’t there when he needed me, but I’m damn sure gonna be there for him from now on.” Dean swore as he fought the guilt that was eating at his very soul. He didn’t know if he could ever forgive himself for what Sam had gone through. Dean didn’t know if he even had the right to ask for forgiveness from Sam. 

“We need to talk Gunny.” Nitro told him as she gently laid Sam back down on the bed and covered him. She walked over to the fridge and pulled out two waters, sitting them on the table before taking a seat. 

Dean walked to the table and sat across from her accepting the water and waited for her to speak. He stared hard at the bottle, thinking he could use something stronger right now; maybe a stiff drink would numb his tortured soul. 

***

“Gunny...I know this may be hard for you to hear, but you need to understand why a person would harm themselves like Sam was doing. He was cutting himself as a coping strategy to deal with the horrible loss of his Mom. If what you said was true and he blamed himself for her death...Well he was trying to come to terms with that in his own way. He felt detached and numb and unable to tell anyone what was going on with him. I’m sure he didn’t know himself and that made it that much harder for him. He probably became argumentative, isolated himself, had mood swings and tried to distant himself from everyone. It was like he became a different person. Am I right?" she asked to have Dean nod yes to her question. "Some describe cutting as soothing and as a way to feel in control and engaged in life. You leaving may have, you hear me may have contributed to it, but listen to me Gunny; you’ll have to come to terms with that and move on. I think whether you were there or not, the self harm would probably have happened. Cutting himself like that does not mean he was trying to commit suicide either. Right now what’s important is Sam and helping him heal. When he wakes up he‘s going to be very vulnerable, insecure, lost and balancing on a very thin edge and one false move could send him tumbling over.” Nitro explained to him and hoped to help him understand. 

Dean didn’t look up or say anything as she spoke trying to comprehend all she was saying. When she stopped talking he wasn’t sure what to say. He wrestled with the words in his mind, wanting to understand, but feeling way out of his league with this.

“Look Gunny, if you don’t think you can handle it I....” she started to be cut off quickly by Dean.

“I’d never give up on my little brother, no matter what it takes. He has no one else but me now...” he stated firmly and fiercely, clenching his fists tightly with his passion, staring hard at his fists. He let out a slow breath as he pulled his emotions back out of sight and calmed slightly. “You seem to know a lot ‘bout this.” he commented, finally looking sideways at her.

“You could say that I guess.” Nitro whispered softly scratching at the label on her water bottle. “Had a very close friend growing up....No one ever knew until it was too late...She died at fifteen....Let's just say, I didn't have much support myself and that was tough. You know all of us have a past we don't wanna talk about and you have been okay with that, as have the others. I'm not gonna dredge up my past now, just know I feel a special bond with your brother.” 

***

“Little Wolf I’m sorry for you loss.” Dean told her quietly not sure what to say to comfort her. “Not knowing anything about this is a big disadvantage for me. I hope you can guide and help me so I don’t screw it up and lose him. God I can't lose him.” Dean pleaded urgently.

“You don’t even need to ask; of course I’ll be there for both of you. Sometimes it takes an outsider to point out the problems and help find the solutions.” 

“You think there’s a chance we can leave at first light?” Dean questioned. “I’d like to get Sammy somewhere permanent so we can settle in and get familiar with our surroundings. Give him some stability and calmness and a place where he'll feel safe.” 

“Might as well, we can make him a bed in the back seat and stop when we need to. Both of us can drive so that will help.” she agreed. 

“Should I try to get some more liquid into him or leave him alone?” 

“The more he drinks the better off he will be, but I don’t think you’ll get him awake enough right now. Let him rest Gunny, we’ll get some more in him before we leave.” she assured him. “Look why don’t you try to get some more rest.”

“Not gonna happen.” he said staring off into space with a lost look in his eyes.

“In that case...Why don’t ya do some reading.” she told him opening up her laptop and pulling up some articles for him. “These will help.” she told him turning the laptop toward him.

Looking down at the screen, he saw there were articles listed on Self Harm. He looked back at her as she got up and headed back to the bed to lay down leaving him to his reading. Dean moved to the couch to be more comfortable and settled down with the laptop in his lap. He clicked on the first article and expelled a slow breath before starting to read.

spn

It was about an hour before the sun would be up and Dean sat back and rubbed his tired, bloodshot eyes. His mind was reeling with all the articles he had read and related links he had browsed. His mind was in overload with all the information that he had studied. His attention was pulled to the bed where his brother lay as soft moans had him moving to the bed. 

"Sammy, hey can you hear me?" Dean asked sitting down beside him on the bed and placing a hand on his shoulder. He hid the hurt look when Sam pulled away from his touch and curled into a ball, shivering uncontrollably.

"He okay?" Nitro asked appearing by his side looking down at Sam. 

"I don't know." Dean mumbled getting up from his seat on the bed and moving away from him.

"Pup, are you awake?" Nitro asked him cautiously seeing a little movement from him. "Can you look at me sweetie?" Nitro and Dean watched closely to see if Sam would respond to her or not.

The softness under him told Sam he was not in the cell in Mexico any more, but he didn't know where he was or who had saved him. Some distant brief thought flitted through his mind, but he couldn’t hold on to it. His entire body ached with each little movement he tried to make and he couldn’t stop the moans that escaped from him. A male voice spoke and he felt the weight of a hand on his shoulder and pulled away in fright; all his mind was telling him was to protect himself the only way he knew, curl into a ball. A female voice that seemed familiar to him spoke gently, but the words were like a foreign language to him. His brain was not able to interpret what was being said but Sam seemed to know he was not in danger from her. It took so much effort for Sam to force his eyes open only into slits. There were two shadowy figures standing beside the bed but he couldn’t make out either face since his vision was still blurry and foggy.

“There you are.” Nitro cooed to Sam when she saw a hint of eyes peaking out. “Think you can drink something?”

Sam couldn’t answer and barely nodded yes as he kept his eyes on the female. He saw the other bigger shadow move away and a few seconds later he could feel a straw on his lips and tried to raise his head slightly to pull it into his mouth and sucked hard to draw liquid into his dry mouth. The coldness felt good on his raw throat and he worked on sucking more of the soothing wetness.

“Easy there Pup, don’t need you choking again. You can have more just don’t make yourself sick.” Nitro cautioned him watching what little she could see of his eyes go in and out of focus. She didn’t know if he was really seeing her or not as he closed his eyes and worked on sipping the Gatorade. 

After part the bottle was gone, Sam let his head drop back on the pillow and sighed, exhausted from the effort of drinking. He could here the voices talking nearby but was too tired to concentrate on what was being said. Sam could feel his stomach wanting to rebel what he drank and tried to breathe normally as the darkness returned once again sending him into the abyss where he floated in a sea of blackness.

spn

“That’s good he was able to drink right?” Dean asked Nitro as she sat the bottle down. 

“Yes, but I think he’s unconscious again.”

“We might as well get ready and leave. Maybe its better he's out of it so we can get him in the car.”

“I hate to mention it, but he probably needs changing and some more medicine put on his bottom and another shot of antibiotics.” she told him trying not to make Dean feel uncomfortable with it. “I can give him another shot of pain meds to make the trip easier on him too.”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Dean said looking around the room until his eyes landed on the Depends package. 

“Why don’t I go use the bathroom and get my stuff and you can get your brother ready to travel.” she suggested deciding he needed to do this alone. “I’ll get the cream and gloves for you.” 

Dean pulled another Depends from the pack and laid it by his brother’s still body. He accepted the items from Nitro and waited as she stepped into the bathroom. He picked up a glove and worked his hand into it and did the same with his other hand. Dean leaned down and carefully began to move Sam’s lower body, straightening out his legs so he could slip his sweats off and then the Depends briefs. 

Nitro stuck her head back out the bathroom door and informed him, “Don‘t forget to wipe him off with the wipes.”

“Right.” he nodded looking around for them until he saw them. He pulled two out and wiped Sam’s privates before taking dry briefs and slipping them up his legs, pausing before pulling them up over his hips. Dean shifted Sam’s body over to his side so he could access his bottom. He squeezed the cream onto one gloved finger and carefully parted his butt cheeks so he could apply the medicine and let his finger slip inside his anus long enough to spread the medicine. Once he was done, he slipped off the gloves and pulled the briefs on up and replaced his sweats. The one thing he was thankful of was Sam remained unconscious through it all. 

“I’m done if you wanna use the bathroom.” Nitro said glancing out first to see if Dean was done before stepping on out. 

“Yeah, I shouldn’t be long.” 

“I'll give Sam the shots and pack up our things and see if the guys are up.” 

“Alright.” Dean replied before disappearing into the bathroom with clothes to change into.

Nitro looked in her field kit and got two small vials and two syringes, filling one with antibiotics and the other with pain medicine. She opened an alcohol wipe and swabbed each arm before quickly injecting him in each arm. She pulled her cell out and hit a button waiting for Shadow to answer as she moved around the room picking up their things and putting them in their duffels. 

“So you guys up too?” he asked seeing her name on his caller id.

“Yes, we’re actually heading out too. So did you guys see an ice chest anywhere when you were out?” she questioned looking into the fridge. “I wanna keep some drinks cold for Sam.”

“The convenience store across the street had some cheap ones. I think they’re open by now, I’ll run over and get you one.” 

“Thanks Shadow.” 

“We were hoping you'd be up to say good-bye. Now it looks like we can travel together part of the way, at least to Wichita. I won‘t be long, see ya in a bit.”

“Alright.” she said hanging up. Nitro was emptying the fridge when Dean came out of the bathroom rolling up his sleep clothes. “They’re up and Shadow is going to the store across the road for an ice chest.”

“Good idea. Think they’ll have us arrested if we snag a couple of blankets and pillow?” Dean asked stuffing his clothes in his duffle.

“We’ll leave a good tip.” she shrugged already planning on taking that anyway.

“I’ll go fix a bed for Sammy.” he said gathering a couple of blankets and a pillow in his arms before heading for the door. He unlocked the Impala and arranged the blankets and pillow in the back for Sam. He saw Shadow walking across the parking lot carry a white Styrofoam cooler and waited for him at the door. 

“Hey Gunny, here’s the cooler Ni wanted. We’re about ready to head out.”

“Us too, she just needs to pack this and I need to get Sammy in the car.”

“Want me to help? It’d be easier if we both carried him.” 

“You’re right, c’mon I think we can go ahead and put him in the car and get him settled.” he answered as he unlocked the door to his room.

“Here you go Ni, think it’ll be big enough?” 

“It’ll do. I’ll pack the drinks and grab some ice to go around them from the machine outside.”

“We’re gonna get Sammy in the car.”

“Be careful with him and put a seat belt on him.” she instructed going into mother hen mode. 

“Yes Mom.” Shadow snickered knowing that tone of voice. Nitro had used the mothering mode on all of them at one time or another and they all took it in stride. 

“You take the lower part and I’ll get the top.” Dean told him as they eased Sam over to his back before picking him up. It wasn’t hard since he didn’t weight near as much as he should. Dean went first and walked backward out the door to the waiting car and gently got Sam onto the back seat. He worked a seat belt out from under him and fastened it around his midsection before covering him with one of the blankets. Once Dean was sure he looked comfortable, he bent his legs enough to close the back door and opened the trunk for their bags. 

“I’ll get Trace moving faster and we’ll meet you guys back out here.” 

“Alright, sounds good.” 

spn

Dean sat the last of their things in the trunk and closed it as Nitro came back from turning in the keys. Shadow and Trace had the Chevy packed and waited for Dean to take the lead and head north. They were going to follow each other until Wichita where they would break off and head in opposite directions. It was going to take them approximately ten hours of driving if they only stopped for gas or restroom breaks. Nitro suggested they stop at the split and have one last meal together even if it meant having it outside at the cars so they could watch Sam. Rain was in the forecast, but it wouldn’t deter them. Nitro settled into the passenger seat after giving Sam a once over and nodded to Dean. He brought the Impala to life and headed out with the Chevy following safely behind them. The traffic was still light and Dean hoped to be well up the interstate before the work rush hour started. Nitro fiddled with the radio until she found something to her liking and hummed along with the music. At the first gas stop, Nitro got Sam alert enough to drink a vanilla protein drink and a little water, then had Dean turn him so he wouldn‘t get sore from laying on one side. They switched out drivers in both cars and continued on their way picking up speed as the traffic got heavier and started moving faster. 

Almost ten hours later Nitro pulled off the interstate and followed Dean’s directions to a truck stop. They were only a couple of miles from where they would part company and decided the place was as good as any to stop at. Nitro stayed with Sam while the guys went in to use the restroom and order takeout food. She checked him over and got Jell-O and another protein drink in him. He tried to wake up but could only keep himself awake for about fifteen minutes, but still didn’t comprehend what was going on around him. She helped him sit up and checked the wounds on his back. She massaged his body as best she could knowing he wasn’t able to get out and walk around to stretch. Sam tried to speak, but it was like he couldn’t put the words together to form a sentence and stopped trying. 

After the guys came back out, Nitro took her turn going to the restroom and had Dean change Sam’s briefs for dry ones. They ate at one of the tables set off to the side of the truck stop since the cars could be parked close enough for them to keep an eye on Sam. Dean rolled the windows down giving him fresh air while they ate and walked around to get the stiffness out of their bodies. 

“You two drive safe and tell Bobby I’ll be in touch.” Dean told them giving each a brief hug and shoulder bump. “And give this to Bobby when you see him.” he told Shadow handing him a brown envelope.

“We will and I will and the same with you two.” Shadow replied feeling unhappy about them splitting up.

“Call me when you get there.” Nitro commented motioning for Trace to join her at the car. “What have you two got planned?” she whispered where Dean couldn’t hear.

“What? Don’t know what you’re....” Trace started trying to act confused with her question.

“Don’t give me that line of bull crap, I know you two and something is going on.” she hissed smiling when Dean looked her way. “Tell me or do I have to rat you two out?” she asked knowing if anyone would crack it would be Trace.

“Fine, I rented a cabin nearby in case we’re needed.” he told her. “We’ll drive on over in a few days once we get a new car. Are you happy?”

“Now was that so hard?” she cooed with a smirk on her face.

“Everything okay?” Dean asked looking at the two suspiciously. 

“It’s great, just filling Ni in on some computer stuff she wanted to do.” Trace shrugged trying to act innocent.

“Well if everyone’s done, guess we need to head on out.” Dean said pursing his lips ‘cause he knew Trace wasn’t telling the truth. One thing the team found hard to do was lie to Dean. He always seemed to know no matter how hard they tried. Shadow decided Gunny had been touched by some gypsy and given the shine and Trace thought he was psychic. Nitro didn’t care one way or the other and just went with the flow. Dean didn’t force the issue deciding he could ask Nitro about it after they got settled in at the cabin.

“See ya, behave.” Nitro ordered bumping fists with her fellow teammates. 

“You guys be careful too and keep us posted on things.”

The team got in their separate cars and with final salutes and waves headed back to the interstate. It didn’t take them long to get to where they would split and with a short tap on the horn, they parted company. Dean and Nitro were driving straight through without stopping for the night and Shadow and Trace were going to find a motel in a few hours and spend the night before heading on to Bobby‘s the next morning.

spn

“Are you sure you took the right road?” Trace complained trying to look at a map and look for road signs at the same time.

“Yes, stop bitching will you.” Shadow told him. He looked in the rear view mirror and saw a car approaching then blue lights coming on. “Heads up, cops.” Shadow said signaling to pull over as he slowed the car and eased it to the side of the road.

“Were you speeding?” Trace asked sitting up in the seat and glancing out the back window as the cop car pulled in behind them. “Can’t let them look in the trunk or we’re dead meat.”

“No! I wasn’t speeding, act natural.” 

“I can turn on my charm...”

“No! No! Just sit there and keep your mouth shut.” Shadow hissed as a uniformed officer walked up to the driver’s window. Shadow started to roll the window down but only it got it four inches and it stuck. He fiddled with the handle and put it up an inch before trying again. “Sorry ‘bout this.” he apologized trying not to panic as he wrestled with the window. Shadow could feel his face growing hot with embarrassment as he struggled to no avail to get it down.

“Why don’t you just step out sir.” the deputy requested her hand resting on her service weapon.

“Sure, no problem Deputy.” he nodded unfastening his seat belt and carefully opening the car door. He stepped out and stood up towering over the deputy trying to act non-threatening. “Is there a problem?” 

“Is this your car sir?” Deputy Mills asked the young man looking back at the car and glancing in to the other one in the passenger seat.

“No ma’am, we’re returning it for a friend of ours to Singer Salvage. He‘s the owner.” Shadow explained to her. 

“Bobby Singer?”

“Yes Deputy, I believe so.” 

“Who’s the friend?” 

“A guy we served with, last name was Winchester but we called him Gunny.” 

“Didn’t really learn names, sort of gave ourselves ones.” Trace commented leaning over to look out the door at the female deputy trying to turn on the charm by giving her a large smile and winking at her. 

“So you both served at the same time with Mr. Winchester?”

“Yes ma’am.” Shadow answered giving Trace at stern look and wave to shut up. 

“You two have names?” 

“I’m Shadow and that’s Trace, Deputy. You can ignore him.” 

“The salvage yard is five miles on down the road, take the next right and you’ll see it on the right.”

“Thank you Deputy.”

“Tell Bobby, Deputy Mills says hello and you boys take care.” she told them.

“We will Deputy Mills and you do the same.” Shadow answered giving her a warm smile before she started back to her vehicle. He got into the car and sighed with relief knowing what they had in the trunk could get them thrown in jail. He threw a punch at Trace’s shoulder for nearly blowing it. Trace fussed at him and punched him back. He cranked the Chevy and signaled to get back on the road to follow the deputy’s instructions to Singer Salvage. 

spn

Bobby was wiping his hands on a rag as he stepped from the garage to see his car pull into the driveway and stop in front of the house. He watched as two strapping guys got out looking around the place. They spotted Bobby walking toward them and moved to wait on him at the steps.

“Hello sir, are you Mr. Singer?” Shadow asked when he got close.

“I am and it’s Bobby, you can drop the sir crap.” Bobby replied. “You the two guys Dean told me about?” 

“Yes sir...I mean Bobby. Gunny asked if we’d bring your car back.” Trace answered holding his hand out to shake Bobby’s.

“Gunny uh?” Bobby commented finding it interesting that Dean was called that. 

“Yep, never really knew first names and not really last ones either, I guess. We sort of just picked up nicknames along the way.”

“Well c’mon in, I’ll put on a fresh pot of coffee or if ya got a hankering there’s beer in the fridge.”

“Beer sounds good.” 

The guys followed Bobby into the house and to the kitchen. They took a seat at the table and nodded their thanks when Bobby sat beers down in front of them. He went to the coffee pot and emptied the old grounds so he could start a fresh pot. Trace and Shadow sipped on their beers as they looked around the place with curious eyes. There were boxes with car parts sitting around the wall of the kitchen and the living room they passed through along with stacks of books that looked like car manuals. It seemed that this Mr. Singer was something of a pack rat.

“So you boys served with Dean?” Bobby asked taking a seat across from them.

“Yes sir, six years, he was our team leader.” Shadow replied. “He was one of the good ones, took care of us.” 

“How many were in your team?” 

“Us and one other, she’s with Gunny now helping with the kid.”

“How is the boy?” 

“I won’t lie to you, he was really bad, near death when we found him, but he seemed to be getting some better when we split up.” 

“That’s good, that boy didn’t deserve any of what happened to him. Lord I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen to an old man like me.” Bobby sighed sadly shaking his head. He stared off into space for a moment, deep in thought before turning back to Dean’s friends. “I know what you guys did is classified from what Dean said, but what did he do?”

Shadow and Trace looked at each other and then down at their beers before Shadow finally answered. 

“Besides being the leader of our team and the planner, he was a sniper, one of the best out there.” 

“Yeah, what we did saved a lot of lives Mr. Singer. No one will ever know, but he was a true hero. He looked out for us and saved our asses on a number of occasions. Gunny, he had a conscious...And had morals that some didn’t. No matter the mission we were given, he made sure if at all possible there were no civilian causalities. He was just like that, he valued life and he’d have taken a bullet for any of his Marine brothers. We became family and looked out for each other; Marines take care of their own.”

“So what did you two do?” 

“I’m the computer expert and can track anything.” Trace said trying not to sound boastful.

“Well there‘s not a lock I can‘t pick and they say I can pass myself off as anyone and I‘m a sniper too.” Shadow shrugged not liking to talk about it.

“And this other one, a girl you say, what did she do?” 

“That would be Nitro and her name says it all. She’s an explosive expert. Ain’t nothing she couldn’t bring down plus she’s our medic if we got injured. That’s why she’s still with Gunny helping out.”

“It’s good he has friends like you that he can count on like that.” Bobby commented. 

“Before I forget, a Deputy Mills stopped us on our way here, think she recognized the car and wanted to see why we were driving it. Anyway she said to tell you hello.” 

“Yeah, probably just checking since I weren’t driving it. She’s a good one, fair and level headed.” he said.   
“Why don’t you boys plan on spending the night? I got a room upstairs with twin beds you can use. Dean and Sam usually take it when they'd visit.”

“That’s too much trouble; we’ll hitch into town and get a motel room some where for the night. We‘ll be heading out in a day or so.” Shadow told him looking at Trace to be sure he didn’t say too much.

“Nothing doing, those beds upstairs they’re free.” Bobby insisted getting up to get a cup of coffee and stared hard at the two boys as he pursed his lips before commenting more. “I get the feeling you boys ain’t telling me something, but that’s ok...If you have that boy’s back I think he’ll be safe. You do have his back don’t ya?”

“Always sir.” they both said together and with conviction.

“So how ya two going to get around now?” he questioned. “Do you have something to drive?”

“We’ll rent a car or find a good used one to buy.” 

“I might be able to help you with that. You looking for a car or truck?” 

“Either’s fine as long as it runs good.”

“I might have something you’d be interested in. Been working on her for a while, just got the last part I needed to get her running again. Not the prettiest thing to look at, but she’s not got any rust on her, a few dents, could use a new paint job. If you got a day or so she’ll be ready. Why don’t ya give her a look?” 

“That’s mighty kind of you Bobby, we’ll see what you have.” 

“Let’s take a walk then.” he said sipping on his coffee before sitting it back down to lead them out.

“Gunny wanted me to give you this sir.” Shadow said patting his pockets until he found the fat envelope Dean had given him and handed it to Bobby.

Bobby accepted the envelope as they passed into the living room and stepped into his office to drop it on his desk before joining them at the door. He would look at it later. Shadow and Trace followed the older man from the house and toward the large garage he had behind the house. It was one of several building positioned around this side of the house. They looked around and saw the stacks of vehicles lined around the other side of the house and thought he was a curious man. Shadow and Trace stepped into the last stall of the garage and followed Bobby inside wondering what they would find.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you for reading my story. Comments are appreciated. NC

 

The Impala's tires were eating up the road as the day wore on and they ran in and out of rain. The day was still overcast and dark looking but for the moment no rain was falling. Nitro was slumped in the passenger seat tapping her hand on the side glass to the music playing on the radio. Dean had found a couple of truckers who were setting a fast pace and signaled if he could join them. One of them blinked his lights and eased back slightly so Dean could switch lanes and get between them. He got his distance even between them and cruised toward Colorado between the two semis. He settled in and blinked his lights in thanks as he paced himself with the big trucks.

They had been traveling between the trucks for nearly two hours when cries and strangling noises from the back seat had Dean looking for a place to pull over and had Nitro diving over the seat to the back to check on Sam. She had him unbuckled and raised up talking softly to him by the time Dean got the car stopped. 

"He okay?" Dean asked quietly as he watched Nitro rest Sam's head on her shoulder and started rocking his body as she spoken softly.

Sam was trying to fight the monsters in his mind and couldn't seem to catch his breath. His mind was clouded with pain and fright and he couldn't understand yet that he was safe as he fought weakly against the person holding him. Soothing words starting piercing the thick fog as a female voice whispered to him to calm and breathe. She kept encouraging him to breathe in and out, that he was safe now and to stop fighting. It took nearly ten minutes for what she was saying to begin to sink in and for him to stop the struggling he was doing. Her voice was soothing and calming to him but he didn't know who she was or how he came to be with her. All that he could piece together was he wasn't in that stinking, damp cell anymore. 

"I think so, hand me my water." she requested, holding out her hand. 

Dean looked around in the front and finally saw a water bottle propped in the wheel well on her side. He leaned over and snagged it, passing it back to her. She opened it and held it to Sam's lips letting a little trickle into his mouth. Dean could see the muscles in Sam's throat responding as the tried to swallow the water that didn't run out of his mouth.

"Should I get him a Gatorade or whatever that other crap is from the back?" 

"We can try, let's do Gatorade this time." 

"On it." Dean said getting out and going to the trunk. He opened it and fished around in the ice chest for a cold Gatorade before closing it and getting back in.

"Straw?" she asked accepting the drink and swapping it for the water. 

"Just a sec..." he mumbled looking around until he found one and opened it for her. "Here ya go."

Nitro accepted the straw and eased Sam back from her enough to see his face. She slipped the straw between his lips and mumbled encouragingly for him to drink. She smiled as he began to drink from the straw and tried to capture the bottle with his hands so it wouldn't be taken away. 

"Easy there Pup, take it slow now...Don't over do it." she cautioned Sam not sure if he was hearing her or not. His eyes were partly open but seemed glazed and out of focus and she was sure he wasn't seeing her. She let him drink half the bottle before carefully prying it from his hands. "I think that's enough for now sweetie, I'll give you the rest when we stop in a couple of hours." Nitro eased Sam back down onto the seat and wiped his mouth with a finger before pulling the blanket back over him. She kissed his forehead and thought it still felt hot and sweaty. "Still a bit hot, I'll give him some meds when we stop." she told Dean as she brushed strands of hair from Sam's face as he settled back down. 

"It'll be a couple more hours and we'll stop for gas and grab some food and to switch off driving." Dean said. "Can he wait that long?"

"Yes, should be 'bout right." she replied climbing back into the front seat with him. "I think he'll be okay now. He seems to have settled back down." 

Dean looked back into the back seat at his brother seeing he had gone back to sleep. He nodded before starting the engine back up and pulled back onto the interstate, pressing on the gas hard to get back up to cruising speed. He knew the trucks were long gone now and settled in the middle lane on a speed just above the speed limit. They drove on without further incident for several more hours before looking for a suitable place to stop. He saw a sign for a truck stop ten more miles down the road and figured it would do; they could get gas, stretch their legs and get something to eat all in one place. 

"I'm going to get some broth for Pup and see if he can stomach it." she commented seeing the sign Dean saw and knowing that was where he was stopping. 

"Alright, thought we'd get takeout and walk around some."

"We about halfway there?" 

"Think so. You can go in first and I'll sit with him."

"Alright." she said running her fingers through her long hair and quickly dividing it into sections and braiding it. She slipped a tie around the bottom to hold it and tried to make herself presentable. "How do I look?" 

"Why, you got a hot date Little Wolf?" he asked arching an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, I got a hunk waiting at the truck stop." she chuffed knowing he was teasing. 

spn

The motion and the rumbling of an engine brought back old memories of before his Mom was killed. Sam lay in the back seat in a trance like state as he saw Dean and him in the back here fighting over some toy and their Mom telling them to behave and their Dad add he'd stop the car if they didn't quiet down. His brother gave in and let him have the toy which he really didn't want any more, so he gave it back. Sam picked up a couple of green Army men and started playing with them and eyed the ashtray in the armrest. He took one of his men and twisted and shoved it into the opening, jamming it tightly. He sat back and smirked at his accomplishment and glanced over at his brother who was involved with a puzzle book. The scene fast forwarded to another time they were going to a soccer game and he was the starting forward. Dean had played the night before and they had won and he hoped to follow in his footsteps. The rocking motion of the car was soothing to him and made him feel safe. A change in the motion of the Impala had him stirring slightly and he felt her stop and the engine turn off. Sam tried to pull his mind from the thick cloud of fog that surrounded it. He could almost hear the soft whisper of words but couldn't understand them yet and didn't have the strength yet to completely break free. 

spn

Once the Impala was stopped at the pumps, Nitro got out and called over the top of the car to Dean, "I'll be back as soon as I can so you can do your thing."

"That's fine; I'll be parked over in the back away from everyone. Gotta see if he needs changing." he told her as he went around to the back to pump the gas. "You need cash?" he questioned before she got too far away.

"I'm good." she said giving him a wave as she walked toward the entrance to find the restrooms.

Dean watched the dials roll quickly by as he filled the tank thinking this would be the last time they would need to stop before getting to the cabin. Trace had worked it out with the realtor to leave the keys in a lock box on the door knob so she wouldn't have to meet them after dark since her office was in the town over an hour away. He had memorized the directions to the cabin and didn't think he would have any problem finding the place. One thing he liked was that the road was gated and should stop any unwanted visitors from wandering in. He wanted isolation and privacy so Sam could have a chance to heal without having to worry about intruders. Dean knew the road ahead was going to be a tough one for the both of them. He still had the unpleasant task of telling Sam about their Dad. That in itself may set him back no telling how long. Now that the mission was over, Dean's mind could slow down and that gave him time to think about other things. His mind started playing out scenarios of how his brother was going to react to him? Would he even want to be around him? Would Sam allow him back into his life? What would he want to do when he was able to leave? And the most important one of all...Could he ever forgive him for leaving and being gone for so long? The pump clicked off loudly startling Dean from his thoughts and he shook his head trying to rid his mind of them as he pumped a little more into the car before stopping. He hung up the nozzle and slipped back into the car to move it to the other side of the parking lot away from the flow of traffic. 

"Alright Sammy, let's see if we can get you changed..." Dean mumbled to himself as he got out and opened the back at Sam's feet. He opened the package of Depends and pulled a clean pair of briefs out and looked for the wipes that had slid under the seat. "Ok Sammy, I'm just gonna slip your sweats off." Dean laid the blanket over Sam's lower body and started to pull the sweats over his hips and down his legs. 

The movement of the car had stopped and Sam could hear a voice talking to him, but it seemed so far away. He tried to focus on the words but his mind wasn't interpreting them yet. The fog pushed in on him, keeping him off balance and unable to punch through it. Sam could feel someone touching him and then it felt like his pants were being tugged down. Instant terror exploded in his mind and he lashed out with an arm and bent his legs to kick out. “¡No! ¡No! ¡No me hagas daño! (No! No! Don’t hurt me!)” he cried out weakly as he fought. “¡No! ¡Por favor! (Don’t! Please!)” he begged in such a pitiful voice.

“Hey! Hey! Sammy it’s okay calm down.” Dean insisted trying to catch his flaying arms and dodge his legs. He glanced around to be sure no one was paying attention to them as he tried to control his brother. “Sammy! Sam you’re safe, estás seguro.” he told him kneeling in the back and using a hand to hold Sam down. He got the other under his neck to hold his head still and whispered again, “Estás seguro. Estás seguro. (You're safe. You're safe.)” Dean pleaded hoping to calm him.

Someone was speaking English to him and then Spanish as he tried to fight off his assailant. Finally two words penetrated his jumbled mind, ‘estás seguro’, you’re safe....Sam felt a hand gently cup his face and he blinked slowly several times trying to clear his vision, but it remained blurry and out of focus. His hand latched onto the arm that was touching his face and worked his mouth to try and speak but couldn’t seemed to form the words. He could feel the trembling of his body as he stilled and tried to stop the tears from leaking out of his eyes. A finger wiped a tear away before it could drip from his cheek. He felt the hand move again slowly and carefully as they finished pulling his pants off. He could tell his briefs seemed wet but didn’t understand why as they were pulled down and something damp wiped him. Sam jerked and tried to pull away but he felt a warm hand rubbing across his stomach for a moment before something was pulled up his legs and under his bottom to rest on his hips. It wasn’t a few seconds later that he could tell his pants were being replaced also and adjusted around his waist. Someone was carefully moving his body to make him more comfortable and repositioned his head on a pillow. 

“There you go bro, gotta feel better now. We’re almost there and you can rest all you need, no ones gonna bother us or ever hurt you again.” Dean told him in a quiet, assuring voice as he pulled the blanket back over his lower body.

“Okay Gunny, it’s your turn.” Nitro said as she looked into the car to see them. “Everything okay?”

“Sammy got a little jumpy when I changed him, but he’s calmed down now.” he said straightening up and popping his back. “Damn these cars weren’t meant for large people.” 

“Go get you something to eat and walk around, I got this.” she said shooing him toward the truck stop. “They had some nice broth and I’m hoping he’ll be able to drink some.”

“Alright, I’m going, but I won’t take too long.” he said starting to walk away but stopped when he heard what she said.

“Hey there Pup...” she cooed climbing in back with Sam. “Got you some nice broth here. It’ll help build your strength back up. Let‘s get you sitting up some.” 

“Roll the window down and I can pull him up from out here.” Dean suggested moving to the other side of the car. He waited until Nitro had the window down and reached in to grab Sam under his armpits and slide him up, leaning his body forward so she could reposition the pillow. 

“That’s good, thanks.” she nodded shifting Sam slightly so he would be more comfortable. She took the cup and added an ice cube to cool it as she stirred it with a straw. Nitro tasted it first to check the temperature before putting the straw to Sam’s slightly parted lips. “C’mon Pup, try some.”

There was that different voice again, talking soothingly to him. He turned his head toward it and felt the straw being placed between his lips as one had been over the past few days. It was automatic now to drink from the straw and began to draw whatever was offered to him into his mouth. Warmth was the first sense as he let the liquid coat his taste buds. This was different than what he had been given before and he swallowed the warm liquid in several small gulps. His stomach clenched as the first mouth of broth hit it and he grimaced, squinting his eyes for a moment. Sam took a slow breath waiting to see if it was going to stay down. 

“You’re right it’s different than what I gave you before.” Nitro chuckled when she saw Sam grimace. “Just take it slow and easy. We wanna keep that down.” 

Sam didn’t answer her as he swallowed a couple of times before attempting another mouth of the broth. He swallowed again slowly to let his stomach get use to food again even if it was just broth. 

“How ‘bout we try a cracker in some broth?” she asked breaking a cracker up and dropping it into the broth. She let it sit a moment before spooning a piece out and placing it in Sam’s mouth. She watched him closely to be sure he didn’t choke as he chewed once and swallowed the soggy bite. “Was that good? Think you can try another?” she offered putting another bite in his mouth. She watched him open his eyes a little trying to focus on her as he opened his mouth again for more. “Like that do you?” she chuckled giving him more. She heard a grumbling and rolling noise coming from Sam’s stomach and frowned for a moment looking up as Dean strolled toward them. 

“So how’s he doing?” Dean asked as he got back in the driver’s seat with a bag of food and drink. 

“Ummm....Gunny....I think you might better see if they’ve got a small trash can or bucket in there. Just in case he pukes. Don’t think I want to smell that the rest of the way to the cabin.” 

Dean glanced at Sam and heard the growl of his stomach deciding that was a good idea. He jumped back out and hurried to the store hoping Sam wouldn’t start puking before he got back. 

“How ‘bout a few sips of ginger ale?” she suggested reaching over the seat to snag the keys and getting out to get one from the ice chest. She opened the bottle of ginger ale and put a new straw in it offering it to Sam. 

Something was going on around him. Sam could sense movement and voices but still couldn’t quite see who they were. He saw a shadow beside him disappear for a few moments before returning and another straw was put to his lips. This time when he sipped a cold, crisp, tart taste assaulted his taste buds and he swallowed quickly wanting more. The coldness hit his stomach and after several long gulps, he paused feeling something different now. Before he could stop it or realize what was happening a loud burp puffed from between his lips, followed by several smaller ones. 

“There you go Pup, that’ll maybe settle your stomach so you can try a little more.” Nitro praised him.

“Here...Am I too late?” Dean asked passing a small trash can back to her as he dropped in the driver’s seat. 

“We’re good, gave him a little ginger ale. I think he’ll be okay now.” Nitro said accepting the plastic can and sitting it beside her in the floorboard. 

“They had a small pack of bags so I got some.” 

“Smart thinking Gunny. Go ahead and eat, your brother‘s doing better now.” she said offering Sam another soggy cracker to eat. She was only going to give him one more not wanting to press her luck since Sam’s stomach seemed to be calming and he didn’t act like he was going to throw up.

“Are you good to drive the next leg?”

“Of course. Think you can take a few more sips Pup?” she asked offering the straw to him again. Nitro let him sip more of the ginger ale before recapping the bottle and picking up the trash. “I’m gonna leave him sitting up until we’re ready to go. Let him digest the food before laying back down.” 

Dean could only nod since he had a mouth full of food and couldn’t speak. He looked back at his brother and saw his eyes were at half mast and he was staring off into space. He burped again and rolled his head sighing contently letting his eye lids slowly close and then open again. He did that several times before they finally remained shut and soft snores drifted from his lips. 

Nitro had gotten out and was walking around the parking lot and heading back their way, stretching as she took her steps. She nodded back to several truckers who tilted their baseball caps to her being polite, but never slowed her pace as she circled the parking lot. She was tuned in to the movement and sounds around her scoping out any threats that might be present. She did this no matter where she was or what she was doing. Old habits were hard to break, but she decided it was a good habit to have and didn’t try to stop herself from doing it. Nitro never assumed anything or took anything for granted in her life. She believed there was a reason for each situation she ended up in and chose not to panic over any of them. Panic never solved anything and most of the time only made it worse. She zeroed in on the Impala and saw Dean watching her as he finished eating. She knew the road ahead of them might be an extremely hard one for both the brothers and hoped she could be the cushion that would bring them together again.

spn

They were back on the road again and the gentle rocking of the Impala had already put Sam back to sleep. He woke briefly as they moved him back down onto the back seat and got him settled and this time he didn't freak out as bad. His breathing and heart rate increased as she shifted him but it slowed back to normal once his body settled on the seat. Dean kept an eye on Sam to be sure he was okay and not looking like he might throw up. He watched the world race by from the side window and kept track of the road signs that they passed. Nitro was tapping her fingers on the steering wheel along with the music playing on the radio. She flipped on the wipers as the rain started coming down harder. They had been running in and out of the storm for the past hour, none of the downpours lasting very long. The air had cooled down with the rain giving a slight chill to the surrounding area. Dean turned around and adjusted Sam's blanket over him not wanting him to get a chill. 

"We're about an hour out now before our exit." Dean said after seeing the last mileage sign.

"Alright, what am I looking for?" Nitro asked, not liking surprises.

"We'll stay on 70 here until Limon and pick up Hwy 71 south for about forty miles where we'll get off onto Saddle Run Road and take that for about thirty miles southeast to Buffalo Ridge. From there I'll guide you in." 

"Got it." Nitro said going over the directions in her mind as he told her. She didn't have a photographic memory, but it was close. She saw clear skies ahead and hoped it would be clear when they got to the cabin. She planned on dropping Dean and Sam off at the cabin with the bags and going into town to get supplies and a wheelchair and shower chair. Nitro was sure it was going to take Sam a couple of weeks or more to be on his feet and Dean didn't need to carry him around during this time. The wheelchair would allow him easier mobility to be moved around the cabin. She drove on in silence sensing Dean wasn't in the mood to talk. 

spn

"There, turn onto Sunset Road on the left." Dean pointed. "The driveway is six miles down on the right."

"I see it." Nitro said slowing the Impala down so she could make the turn onto the road. She followed his directions checking the odometer so she'd know when six miles had been driven. They had met only a few cars this far out and she drove just under the speed limit so they wouldn't miss the driveway. 

"It should be around the next curve." Dean said ten minutes later sitting up in the seat to see better. 

"That must be it." she replied seeing a driveway just ahead. She signaled the turn and eased the Impala onto a gravel road. They went thirty feet and saw the gate blocking the driveway. Nitro stopped and let Dean get out to open it so they could drive through. "Leave it; I'll be going back out when I drop you two off." 

"What are you planning?"

"I'm going into town to get supplies and some other things we need. I'll go ahead and get enough for a couple of weeks so we won't need to go out for awhile." 

"Add some beer, jerky and Jack to your list." 

"You got it." she said driving slowly down the driveway as it curved and twisted for a couple of miles before dead ending at a circular driveway in front of the cabin. She parked as close to the door as she could to make it easier to unload the car. 

"Let me get it opened up and lights turned on." Dean told her getting out and going up the three steps to the front porch. There were rocking chairs sitting on the porch and a swing at the end. He found the lockbox and punched in the combination to retrieve the keys. The door opened easily and silently admitting Dean into a large foyer. He stepped inside and did a quick survey of the place. To the left was a large family room and next to it the dining room and kitchen. To his left he saw a small library/study and on down were doors that had to be the bedrooms. Straight ahead he saw sliding glass doors that led outside to a large deck. Dean looked around and found light switches turning them on as he walked into the family room and kitchen. He went down the hall to check out the bedrooms finding one had a king size bed and the other had two full size beds and each had their own bathroom. 

"So how's it look?" Nitro asked stopping in the foyer to look around. 

"Not bad." he replied going back to the kitchen and finding a note on the counter. "The realtor said she turned on the hot water heater and water for us. If there's any problems with anything to call her and she'd get it checked out." 

"Good, let's open a few windows and turn on these fans to get some air circulating." she suggested.

"Right, it does smell a little musty." 

"Did you find the bedrooms?"

"Yes, you can have the one with the king and we'll take the other one." he said flipping switches until he found the right one for the ceiling fan in the family room. The place was furnished with a country theme, but the kitchen was modern looking and he found a laundry room off the kitchen with a washer and dryer and a half bathroom. There was a full size fridge, microwave, coffee pot and toaster and inside the cabinets he found everything they would need for cooking. The family room had a television with DVD player attached and a shelf of DVDs beside it. There was a gas fireplace against one wall but he didn't think they would need it yet. "Looks like it's got pretty much what we need."

"Good let's get the bags and your brother inside so I can go shopping." 

"Alright." he answered following her back outside waiting for her to open the trunk and picked up the ice chest deciding to drain what water he could out of it before taking it inside. Nitro grabbed bags in both hands and headed inside depositing them in the bedrooms before going back for the few bags of food. Dean got the weapons bag and the bags containing the money before closing the trunk back. He put them in the closet of the bedroom he would be sharing with his brother.

"It'll be easier to move him with the blanket. You grab the end at the head and I'll get the legs and work him out of the car."

"Okay, on three, one, two lift." Dean instructed as he picked up his end of the blanket to guide it out while Nitro got the other and slid across the seat supporting Sam. They got him out and into the house. Dean walked backwards toward the bedrooms maneuvering his brother into the bedroom and looking quickly at the bed before deciding which one to put him on. He moved to the one farthest from the door and laid him down, letting the blanket fall around him. He watched Sam grumble and stretch now that he had room before settling down. “I’ll see if he’ll drink something once I get the stuff put away in the kitchen.”

“Gunny, I know you said you’d never own one, but being out here with no phone is not good. I picked up a burner and Trace fixed it so it can’t be tracked. Our numbers and Bobby’s are already in the contact list. It’s only for emergencies.” she told him holding out a simple cell waiting for him to take it. “I’m off; I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

“Take care of her and no drag racing.” Dean warned with a twitch of a smile.

“Wouldn’t think of it.” she giggled heading out to the Impala and driving away.

Dean headed to the kitchen and started putting away what few things they had and stored the ice chest in the laundry room. He turned on a radio sitting on the bar and found a station worth listening to so it wouldn’t seem so quiet in the cabin. He unlocked and opened the sliding glass door to check out the deck and found half of it was covered with a gas grill and picnic table sitting under the covered part. There were deck chairs on the open side that were positioned to look out at a lake that stretched out below the cabin. It was quiet except for the night creatures that were starting to venture out now that darkness was creeping over the land. He stood there looking out into the trees breathing in deep breaths of clean, fresh air. He would do a perimeter check in the morning to get the lay of the land and be sure everything was to his liking. Dean headed back inside and locked the door behind him. He went back to the kitchen and got a water from the fridge before taking a seat at the counter to listen to the music. 

spn

Nitro had been gone about two hours when Dean was brought to his feet by an animalistic scream from the bedroom Sam was in. He ran at full speed for the room and was by his brother’s side to see what was wrong. Sam was withering around on the bed, crying out and fighting unseen demons as Dean began to talk to him.

“Sammy, bro it’s okay. No one’s going to hurt you.” Dean tried to assure him as he made a grab for his flaying arms. 

“No! No! Don’t!” Sam screamed at the top of his lungs, his voice cracking with the strain. He struck out with his elbow catching Dean in the face causing him to bite into his lip. 

“Stop it!” Dean yelled at him as he tasted blood in his mouth. He got Sam’s arms trapped in his hand but was slightly off balance as he leaned over him and got a knee into the stomach sending him tottering backwards to land on his butt.

Sam felt his arms being captured and started to fight that much harder. He yelled hoarsely as the shadowy figure loomed over him and kicked out with as much force as he could connecting to a body and getting his arms free. Sam rolled from the bed and pushed himself into a corner of the bedroom, panting hard as he tried to catch his breath. 

“C’mon man, let’s get ya back in bed.” Dean said after he pushed himself from the floor and walked toward Sam. He could see the lacerations on Sam’s arm had broke open and was bleeding. “Look you’re bleeding....” Dean had to jump back as Sam kicked out again at him as he stared wildly around him making frightened, whimpering noises. “Sammy it’s okay...Don't you know me....” Dean tried again speaking softly to him but couldn’t get close as he threw a book that had fallen from the nightstand. “Ok, Ok...What if I sit right here...” he asked easing down onto the floor beside the bed and leaning back against it. He was fifteen feet away from Sam and wanted so much to pull him into his arms and assure him everything was going to be alright. Dean watched Sam freaking out and felt helpless to do anything. He was afraid Sam would hurt himself worse if he tried to get him up. He touched his tender, swelling lip and wiped blood from his chin. Sam stopped kicking and trying to fight once Dean sat on the floor and stopped talking to him. Dean’s heart broke by his brother’s reaction toward him. He had a feeling Sam wasn’t really seeing him as his eyes darted around the room. He felt sure Sam was lost in the nightmare that had been his world for too long.

The tall, shadowed, stranger moved toward him again and Sam lashed out feeling something under his hand that he threw. He was weakening and didn’t know how much longer he could hold out but he wasn't letting anyone hurt him again. He'd as soon die first. Sam didn't know what happened to him, his mind was so jumbled with images and memories he wasn't sure what was real or not. He couldn't think straight and only knew he had to stay conscious as the room spun. Black spots swam in front of his eyes as he fought to not pass out. When the other one didn't move anymore, he drew his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, unaware of the blood running down his arm. His body was so tense it was trembling in quick, jerky movements. He had hoped the blurry man would go away, but he sat down across from him and watched his every move. He knew he wasn't strong enough to fight his way past the stranger and only hoped he wouldn't try to hurt him.

spn

The house was quiet but for the soft music playing from the kitchen when Nitro let herself into the cabin. She looked toward the family room and kitchen but didn’t see Gunny, so she headed for the bedroom. When she stepped into the room, her eyes fell on the empty bed, and then she saw a head sticking up over the bed that was Gunny's.

“Gunny?....” she asked moving toward him as her eyes scanned around for his brother. She knew he wouldn’t be sitting there if something had happened to him.

“Think you can see if he’ll let you help him?” Dean asked dully as he pulled himself from the floor and turned to leave. 

“Whoa!” she exclaimed grabbing his arm to stop him. “What happened?” she asked seeing the blood on his face and the beginnings of a bruise near his mouth. 

“He freaked out....Wouldn’t let me near him...He just...I don't know...” Dean growled in frustration and anger with a feeling of hopelessness invading his soul as he threw his arms in the air. 

“You go unload the car and I’ll see what I can do.” Nitro instructed seeing he wouldn't be useful right now.

“Looks like he tore open the wounds on his arm. I’ll get you your kit.” 

“Gunny, don’t let this discourage you...We’re not really sure he knows you yet or if he even knows he's free. You know it’s going to take a little time for him to come back. Be patient with him.” she told him before he stepped from the room.

Dean didn’t say anything as he headed to the other bedroom to get her first aid kit. He knew she was right, but it still hurt none the less. It was hard to face that his brother thought of him as a stranger that might hurt him. He could hear Nitro talking gently to Sam trying to coax him from the corner. He returned with her kit and left to do as she asked and unload the car. Maybe it would take his mind off the rejection he was feeling right now. He knew it wasn't going to be an easy road ahead and he tried to keep from feeling discouraged and heartbroken, but it was hard, harder than any mission he had been on. He could face down the worse of the worse, but when it came to his brother....He was lost at what to do to make this right. He guessed only time and patience would give him the answers he needed. He just hoped he could live with them.


	9. Chapter 9

After Dean left the second time, Nitro opened her kit and found what she wanted, a syringe with a mild sedative. She turned to the young man and squatted down to his level before slipping a little closer.

"Hey Pup, remember me?" she asked softly trying to catch his eyes. "You don't have to be afraid; no one here will hurt you. I swear. You're safe. Estás seguro." she said hoping she could get him to understand. She had seen this type of confusion before with captives who had been tortured like he had been. Their minds were so overloaded they didn't know they had been rescued and it took a little time for them to comprehend it.

Sam jerked out of his fitful daze when a new voice spoke to him. He had heard it before and associated comfort with it, not pain or hurt. Sam looked to the slightly blurred features of a woman easing toward him and let her lay a hand on his knee and rub his arm. The comfort and touch felt good and assuring to him as he leaned his head back against his knees closing his eyes.

"That's it, you're safe now." she said watching him for any outburst. She continued to stroke his arm for another five minutes making sure he would let her touch him. Nitro moved to feel his forehead, unhappy it was sweaty and feverish. She went back to her kit and found some Tylenol and picked up a bottle of water. “Think you can swallow a couple of pills Pup?” she asked reaching up and touching his lips with them. She watched him automatically open and pushed them in his mouth. “Now a little water to wash them down.” Nitro said holding the straw to his lips, watching him capture it and pulled a little water into his mouth. 

Sam worked on swallowing the liquid in his mouth and tried to get the pills down that seemed stuck to his tongue. He grimaced at the taste and sucked more water, finally washing them down with a sigh. He looked at her with glazed, scared eyes that he could barely keep open, his body tense and trembling.

"I'm going to give you something to help you relax. This won't hurt at all; it's just a little stick." she assured him. Nitro injected him with the sedative and watched him flinch slightly but got no other reaction from him. She recapped the used syringe and tossed it in a nearby trashcan before taking his bloody arm and looking at the lacerations. "You're gonna need a couple of stitches to close these. I'll just wait until the sedative takes effect and get you back in bed. It'll be ok Pup; you need to let yourself rest and heal. Just go to sleep...Relax and sleep." she cooed as Sam's head slowly fell sideways as the drug kicked in. His arms slid from his knees as his body became limp. She pushed him back, letting his head rest against the wall where he would be more comfortable for now. Nitro got up to get Dean so they could get him back in bed and she could tend to his injuries. 

spn

The car seemed full of bags and when he opened the trunk he found a collapsed wheelchair and shower chair along with more bags. He pulled each out and carried them into the cabin deciding to leave them in the hallway so he could get the rest of the bags. He sat them on the counter and the dining room table to sort and start putting the food away. Dean began to fill the fridge and cabinets with produce, meats, milk, coffee, soups, frozen vegetables, snacks, beer, bread, sandwich meat, cheese, condiments, and various other items they would need. He sat the laundry detergent and fabric softener in the laundry room and toilet paper on the counter to take to the bathrooms. The bags that had clothes, which he figured were for Sam, he tossed into the laundry room to be washed and finally he found what he was looking for, a couple bottles of Jack Daniels. He found a glass in the cabinet and proceeded to pour a generous portion into it. With a deep sigh, he tilted the glass and gulped the fiery liquid down in two swallows, grimacing when it hit his stomach and made his eyes water. He coughed and cleared his throat before pouring another smaller shot. Dean felt her presence before she spoke but didn’t look her way.

“I need your help getting him back in bed.” Nitro finally said looking at the glass and the bottle of whiskey.

“He won’t let me near him.” Dean grunted swirling the amber liquid around in the glass while he contemplated drinking it.

“I gave him a sedative, he should be out the rest of the night.” she explained. “Gunny, I know you’re hurting, but that’s not the answer.” she advised him softly as he threw back to second drink.

Dean sat the glass down by the bottle of whiskey without saying a word and turned to head for the bedrooms. He pushed the wheelchair in front of him to the bedroom, leaving it near the dresser. He looked to the corner and saw his brother slumped in it knocked out. Sam’s body was limp and his head hung to the side with his mouth drooping open with a string of salvia hanging from it. Sammy looked so young and vulnerable slumped in the corner, raspy breathing coming out of his mouth. It brought back memories of when they were young and played hide and seek and he would go to sleep hidden in a corner or behind a curtain waiting for Dean to find him. He could see that innocence was gone from his facial expression now and his heart ached with his chest tightening making it hard to breath.

Nitro followed him with the shower chair. She took it to the bathroom sitting it by the tub to be used later. She stood at the bathroom door and watched Dean stare at his brother, a longing and painful look on his face before it was quickly replaced with a neutral one. He went to his brother and carefully scooped him up in his arms like he was a baby.

“Let me turn the bed down first.” Nitro said before he could put Sam down. 

“Alright.” Dean answered holding Sam in his arms by the bed waiting for her. He shifted slightly and pulled his brother’s body closer into his chest letting his head fall onto his shoulder. Dean leaned his cheek to Sam’s forehead and felt how warm it was. 

“He’s hot.” Dean commented.

“I know, I got him to take something a few minutes ago. I need to put a couple of stitches in his arm to close it up.” she told him as she pulled the covers back and caught Sam’s arm before it landed on the white sheet. Nitro placed it on his chest after Dean laid him down and went to get a couple of wet cloths from the bathroom. When she came back Dean was gone and Sam was alone in the room. She signed with worry before going to Sam and sitting on the bed to clean his arm and stitch it. She folded one and put it across his forehead to help cool him. Smelling the aroma of urine, she knew he needed dry briefs and needed to check his other wounds so Nitro got up looking around for the package to get a dry pair and for the wipes. She felt it would be better for her to do this now and hoped they wouldn’t have to do it much longer. She could tell he was getting a little stronger with the nourishment he had been getting. Nitro pulled the sheet over Sam’s hips and worked his sweats off deciding to leave them off for now. She reached under the sheet and pulled the wet briefs off, then wiped him before slipping a dry pair up his legs and under the blanket. She inspected his other wounds before tucking the sheet around him and spreading a blanket out over him too. Nitro picked up the trash and straightened up around the bed, picking up the things knocked from the nightstand. She turned on the overhead fan and left a small lamp sitting on the dresser on, casting the room into shadows before leaving. One brother down and another to take care of, she thought heading in search of the older brother.

spn

The air was cool from the storm that had passed through as Dean stepped out on the deck and moved to sit in one of the chairs on the open part of the deck. He still needed to check the area out for dangers and get the lay of the land, but that would have to wait until it was light. He looked out toward the lake seeing the darkness of the water through the trees. A half moon would occasionally light a little section of the water, sparkling for a brief moment before disappearing. Sounds he didn’t recognize echoed around through the forest causing him to pause and listen assessing any danger. Once he was satisfied there was nothing out there, he settled back in the chair and sipped on the third glass of whiskey in his hand. It burned going down and settled into his stomach as a wave of warmth began to spread throughout his body. Not one for heavy drinking, Dean was starting to feel the effects of the whiskey on his body. He had a lot of thinking to do and decisions to make and it all hinged on his little brother. A lone wolf’s mournful howl could be heard off in the distance only to be answered seconds later by another wolf from across the valley. He knew how the first one felt, alone and searching for another.

Nitro went in search of the other brother looking in each room trying to figure out where he was. She looked out the front window and saw the Impala still parked where she left it so he had to be somewhere nearby. She opened the front door and looked onto the porch seeing it was empty. Frowning and wondering if he had taken a walk she turned and saw the sliding glass doors at the rear of the cabin. Nitro headed that way and looked out onto the deck seeing the shadow of Dean sitting in a chair at the end of the deck. She could just make out the bottle of whiskey as he poured himself another drink. She watched his slumped shoulders and rubbing of his temples knowing he was hurting thinking Sam was rejecting him. 

"Gunny...Wanna talk?" she asked stepping onto the deck closer to him.

"I'm fine." he grunted not bothering to look her way as he studied the darkness.

"Ok, but if you want to, just know I'm here. Don't stay out here too long, it's getting chilly tonight." she said knowing it wouldn't do any good to press the issue right now and went back inside. She knew he wasn't in the mood to share right now so didn't waste her time trying to get him to talk. She pulled her cell from her pocket and punched in a number. “How long before you’re here?” she asked quietly listening to the reply from the other end. “Sooner the better, but stay out of sight you know he can sense anyone watching him...Ok, bye.” Nitro went back to the kitchen and finished putting up the remaining groceries and gathered up the empty bags to store in the laundry room. She was exhausted and headed for her bedroom to get some rest. After using the bathroom and changing into sleep clothes, Nitro left her door opened so she could hear any disturbance before crawling between the sheets. It didn’t take her long to drift off to sleep, ever keeping an ear out for trouble.

spn

Nearly four days had passed since they had gotten to the cabin and Sam was in and out of consciousness for short periods, but never fully woke. They got what fluids they could into him when he was conscious enough to drink. Nitro continued with the antibiotics and Tylenol and kept check of his wounds for any further infection. His temperature came down slowly and his fluid intake began to increase. Sam would still scream out from nightmares crying out for his father or begging an unknown monsters to not hurt him again or gibbering in Spanish to some imaginary person. They tried to comfort him as best they could during these times. Dean hardly slept at all since they had gotten to the cabin and the lack of sleep was staring to show on him. He looked haggard, bleary eyed with dark patches of skin under his eyes. He would doze off sitting in a chair by Sam’s bed or sitting at the table during a meal. Nitro tried to get him to let her sit with Sam, but he wouldn’t have it, telling her Sam was his responsibility. It was on the fourth day that Sam seemed to be resting easier as his temperature was almost normal and he had not been plagued with nightmares. She hoped this was the turning point for him and he would start waking up for longer periods. 

The morning of the fifth day dawned clear and crisp as Nitro rolled over and checked the time. She was never one to sleep in and enjoyed an early morning run whenever possible. After slipping on some sweats, sports bra and an oversized tee shirt that she thought belonged to one of the guys, she headed down the hall stopping first to look in on Sam. He was still sleeping peacefully in his bed but when she looked to the other it was empty and had not been slept in. She headed into the other room and saw socked feet hanging over the end of the couch in the family room. As quietly as she could, Nitro let herself out and stood on the porch for a moment breathing deeply and stretching before jogging down the driveway.

Dean lay still when he heard movement in the room knowing it was Nitro. He was used to her early morning routine and knew she was heading on a run. He lay there with a splitting headache knowing he shouldn’t of had that last glass of whiskey. His mouth was extremely dry and felt like someone used it as an ashtray. He sat up slowly and waited for the room to stop spinning before weaving his way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Once it was brewing, he stood in front of the pot staring intently at it wanting it to perk faster. He closed is eyes for a moment and turned to the fridge for a bottle of water. Dean hungrily gulped several large swallows of water before hunting his jacket and searching his pockets for Tylenol. After finding the small bottle, he shook four out into the palm of his hand and threw them into his mouth along with several sips of water. He found cups in the cabinet and set two out before looking in the fridge for breakfast items. He pulled out eggs, a pack of bacon, found some frozen hash browns, sliced fruit and started putting together breakfast. By the time Nitro came back in the front door, Dean had breakfast almost done. He knew Sam couldn’t eat what he was fixing and was going to fix a tray with applesauce, cream of wheat, protein drink, hot tea and toast for him. He would add some scrambled eggs and let Nitro decide what he could have. 

“The eggs are ready to cook, go grab a quick shower and I’ll have it ready.” Dean told her before she could say anything.

“I won’t be long.” she said heading for her bedroom. Even thought he tried to hide it, she could see the smudges of bruising under his bloodshot eyes, the slight tremor in his hand and the pinched look of his face knowing he drunk too much last night. The only good thing about that was that was the last of the whiskey she had bought. She quickly shed her sweaty clothes and got the water going so she could shower, dress and get back out there. It was a surprise to see Gunny had cooked but thought maybe he was trying to stay busy so he wouldn‘t dwell on his brother.

spn

When Nitro stepped back into the kitchen, Dean had the table set and food laid out ready to eat. He pulled out a chair for her and poured coffee for both of them knowing she liked her's black too. 

“You look like shit Gunny.” she stated, not trying to sugar coat her words as he spooned eggs onto her plate. 

“Good morning to you too.” Dean huffed knowing if he looked anything like how he felt he must look rough. “When you’re done, I’ll fix a tray for Sammy.”

“You wanna help him eat?” 

“No, I don’t think I should be in there.” he mumbled looking down at his food. “It might upset him again.” 

“Let’s see how he is this morning Gunny. He might be more alert.” 

Dean didn’t say anything as he held a bite of food near his mouth but didn’t eat it. Any appetite he had suddenly vanished as he remembered the look on his brother’s face last night. He pinched his lips together and tried to push those thoughts aside for now. After what seemed like forever, he put the bite in his mouth and chewed the tasteless food. He didn’t notice Nitro studying him as she forked egg into her mouth and sipped some coffee. She didn’t say anything to him knowing it wouldn’t help right now. She finished eating and stood to take her plate to the sink. 

“You can change anything on the tray if...” Dean started getting up to scramble an egg and fix the cream of wheat and hot tea.

“It’s fine.” she said giving it a once over and adding napkins and straw and waited for him to add what he had cooked to the tray. Nitro headed to the bedroom, sitting the tray on the other bed and went over to wake Sam. “Hey Pup, hey? Think you can wake up for me?” she asked patting his cheeks and giving his shoulder a gentle shake to rouse him.

Sam grunted and groaned as he rolled his head toward her voice and squinted his eyes against the light. He used a hand to rub his eyes and yawned trying to wake his sore body. He blinked the mist from his eyes and looked up into the blurry face of a woman with dark hair that framed her face. He was still having trouble seeing clearly, but it was better this morning. He could tell she didn’t seem threatening as she sat down beside on the bed.

“There you are.” she said smiling sweetly. “How are you feeling this morning?”

He cleared his throat and answered in a rough, gravely voice. “Not...Sure.” 

“Think you can maybe eat something?”

“Maybe.”

“Let’s get you set up in bed here.” she said helping him slide up in the bed and adjusting the pillows for him. “Let me caution you to take it slow. You’ve not had solid food in a while and you don’t want to make yourself sick.” she said getting the tray and sitting it on his lap before sitting back down beside him. Nitro unfolded a napkin and placed it under his chin and on his chest before he started eating. 

Sam looked at the food on the tray and glanced around the room seeing nothing familiar to him. His mouth watered with the smell of the food and tried to decide what to eat. With a trembling hand, he spoon a little applesauce up and lifted it to his mouth. He rolled it around in his mouth before swallowing the slightly tart sauce. After it seemed the sauce would stay down, he tried another, spilling part of it on his chest. Nitro wiped up the spill but continued to let him feed himself, no matter how messy he was. He sipped some tea and coughed a couple of times before trying to speak. He had so many questions now that his mind was starting to work again and he was accessing his situation.

“What’s your name?” he asked blinking hard trying clear his vision so he could see her better. So far his stomach was not protesting the food he was eating. He tried a bite of egg, chewing it slowly until it was tiny pieces before swallowing. He drank some of the protein drink as he waited for her to answer. There was so much missing in his memory about what had happened to him and he hoped she could tell him.

“Well, most just call me Nitro.” she said cocking her head and looking at him.

“That’s different, but I like it.” he mused. “How did I get here? Where am I?” 

“I was part of the team who rescued you.” 

“Rescued me? Did my Dad hire you?” he asked quickly. “Where is he?” He looked toward the door waiting for her to answer him, wondering if his Dad was in the other room and why not in here with him.

“No it wasn’t your Dad.” Nitro said knowing she shouldn’t be the one to talk about Sam and Dean’s father. 

“Uncle Bobby?” Sam questioned. He tried a spoon of cream of wheat but it stuck in his throat and he had to wash it down before he choked. 

“I served with your brother; he was our team leader...” Nitro started slowly. “He got his old team together and we came after you. Your brother rescued you.” 

Sam’s whole demur changed at the mention of his brother. He stiffened and hatred filled his eyes as his face started to redden in anger and his mouth worked to say something. “I don’t have a damn brother! That sonovabitch is dead to me! He....He...” Sam hissed out, his voice laced with venom and his anger overtaking him so much he couldn‘t talk. He shoved the tray away sending food everywhere, including on Nitro, and turned to his side away from her. Sam was heaving shaky breaths as hot tears ran down his face and he bit into the pillow to keep from crying out. He hadn’t thought about his older brother in years, not since their Mom's death and he abandoned him, and didn’t want to talk about him now or see him for that matter. His mind reeled with this news as he panted in short hard gasps trying to start the overflow of tears that wet his face.

Neither of them knew that Dean was standing outside the door listening to them talking and heard the angry, hurtful, earth shattering words Sam said about him. Any remaining hope he had of reconciling with his brother vanished and he stumbled down the hall to the door, grabbing his car keys along the way. He didn’t look back as he got in the car and drove away. His heart shattered into a thousand piece and his soul lost all its shining luster and glory as the words, Dead to me, echoed around in his head. Hot tears blurred his vision as he swiped a hand across his face so he could see. He stopped to open the gate and drive through it. He stopped at the road and looked both ways before randomly turning and heading nowhere. Dean’s mind shut down and he was driving on autopilot, not seeing or hearing the world around him. Strange sounds filled the Impala and he tried to determine what it was and realized it was his own hitched sobs filling her silence. It was getting hard for him to breath, but he kept going wanting to put distance between his pain and him.

spn

Sam tried to stop the grief and hurt that flashed through his mind at the mention of his brother. Old wounds were suddenly slashed open, leaving them raw and bleeding and he wasn‘t in any shape to handle all the emotions bombarding him. He didn’t hear the silent footsteps until a tray was slammed down on the nightstand making him jump and stare wide eyed at the woman named Nitro who still had food on her clothes, face and in her hair. She didn’t say a thing as she looked down at him and Sam could see the fire and fury dancing around in her eyes. He cringed slightly knowing full well she could kill him if she wanted to; instead she walked over to the wheelchair and brought it to the bed and opened it up leaving it sitting there. She turned on her heels and walked away without a single word, pausing for a moment at the door to toss something onto the bed hitting him on the bottom. Sam looked over his shoulder to see her disappear from the room and quietness settled around him. 

He was still so tired and weak from his ordeal that it took all he had to pull himself over to the end of the bed and snag the water bottle from the tray. He opened it and swallowed several mouth fulls to quench his thirst. He looked at the tray and saw yogurt, toast and a banana laying on it. He lay back on the pillow to get his breath as a fleeting image crossed through his mind of an older guy leaning over him saying something. He couldn’t hold onto it long enough to understand what he was saying or to figure out who he was. Could that have been his brother, Sam thought. His mind floated back to a troubled fourteen year old and the day he found out that his brother was gone. The grief he was feeling doubled and nearly consumed him because he thought Dean had left because of how badly he had been treating him. He blamed himself and the guilt had resurfaced again at the mention of him. Sam wondered if he traded one cell for another only this time it was going to be mental and emotional torture. He didn’t know how long it had been since being rescued. He didn’t even know what day it was. His hand drifted to the raised scars on his arm and rubbed them absently, digging a fingernail into one scar drawing blood as he raked the nail across it without thinking about it. 

spn

“You need to get here now, Gunny’s gone.” Nitro said hurriedly into her cell. “He has no money, no clothes, hell he doesn’t even have his license....I have no idea, just get here.” She never dreamed that she’d get that type of reaction from Sam when she told him about his brother rescuing him. His words were filled with so much hatred and anger she was taken aback at first and then she got angry, especially when he threw his food like a bratty kid. Nitro picked up the dishes and tray and left the bedroom not sure how to explain her appearance to Dean. When she didn’t see him in the kitchen or on the deck, a sense of dread started to build in the bottom of her stomach and she ran to the window to see the Impala was gone. Nitro punched the wall and cussed knowing Dean must of heard what his brother said about him and left. Now she was here stranded with a little brother who couldn’t take care for himself yet and the need to go looking for the older brother because she knew he was devastated from the rejection. Knowing she couldn’t do anything to help Dean, she turned and headed back to the kitchen to fix another tray for Sam. He was still her responsibility and she promised Gunny she would take care of him, but she didn’t have to like it. She just hoped reinforcements got here soon before he got too far away and they didn’t stand a chance in finding him. Gunny was extremely good and if he wanted to go off the radar...Well, no one would find him.

spn

Nothing looked familiar to Dean when a blaring horn pulled him out of his stupor and he jerked the Impala back into his lane out of the oncoming traffic. He pulled off the road, shutting the car down and panting hard when he realized he almost had a head on collision with a semi that would probably have killed him instantly. He was white knuckling the steering wheel so tightly that it took him five minutes to force his fingers to let go. When he finally got them off the steering wheel, Dean leaned his head forward and let it rest on it as he tried to slow his pounding heart and catch his breath. It took him ten minutes before he could raise his head with some semblance of control. What the hell was he doing? This wasn’t like him to give up so easily on anything that he started. He wasn’t a quitter. Hell! He was a tough, hard nosed, ass kicking Marine and he just ran from the cabin like a coward with his tail tucked between his legs, all because of some damn words. It wasn’t the words as much as who was spouting them. 

Being a Marine meant everything to him and that meant you took care of your own, be it a fellow Marine or family. Could his brother really hate him that much after all this time? He knew the reason had to be that he left all those years ago without getting him to understand why he had to. Dean’s guilt and sorrow was slowly being replaced with anger and a hardness that froze his heart and darkened his soul. He clenched his jaw and pressed his lips into a thin, tight line. This wasn’t the way he wanted to see his brother and Dean decided he wouldn’t be driven off like that. He was a grown, responsible man and he couldn’t leave his problems to others to take care of. It wasn’t fair to Little Wolf who was back there stuck with his brother right now having to take care of him. He had a feeling if that wasn’t his little brother laying there in that bed, he would be dead or very injured right now. Little Wolf was a complex person, but one thing she was was very protective of the ones she cared about and would take out anyone without hesitation if they threatened them. He mulled over everything in his mind, sorting through what had happened and worked out a solution. He was a problem solver; there wasn’t anything he couldn’t work out, given all the parameters. Well, one thing he knew, it was going to be hard to get anywhere when he didn’t have any money, no id and none of his weapons or clothes. All he had was the Impala and a hidden hand gun in the trunk. He would go back to the cabin and deal with his brother his way, whether he liked it or not. He was going to dish out some tough love and it might not be pretty.

spn

Sam had eaten what she brought him earlier and it had helped, but his stomach had protested. He glanced down at the package by his hip and pulled it closer to look at. Sam looked under the sheet and then back at the package wrinkling his nose in disgust. That was why he felt wet and wondered how long he had been wearing a diaper. Deciding he didn’t like this part, Sam worked his way to the side of the bed and shifted into the wheelchair, panting hard from the action. He sat there for several minutes before getting enough strength to move the chair. He saw the other bed and a bag sitting on it and moved toward it. He found clothes in it that weren’t his and found some briefs. They might be too big, but it was better than wearing what he had on. He finally got into the bathroom and over to the commode as the pains started in his stomach and lower intestines. With the help of the counter, he slid onto the commode and got the wet diaper briefs off just in time as his intestines let go. He groaned and bent over gripping his stomach in pain as he passed gas and a little soft diarrhea. Not having eaten enough to produce much, he grunted and tightened his bottom muscles as a dull pain down there made him bite his lip and take deep breaths. He sat there for fifteen minutes being sure he was done before slipping on the briefs he had found and worked his way back into the wheelchair. With shaky arms, he rolled back into the bedroom to the side of the bed and that was where Nitro found him. 

spn

Nitro paced from the family room to the kitchen as she paused with each trip to check out the window praying Gunny would be pulling up. She looked toward the bedroom and her hackles went up again. It was time for lunch and she knew he needed to be fed. With a disgruntled growl, Nitro headed to the kitchen and heated soup, then put yogurt, fruit, crackers and tea on a tray and headed back to the bedroom. She found Sam sitting in the wheelchair looking exhausted and weak, with a pinched look of pain on his face. He looked up at her and stiffened, sitting up straighter as she stepped closer and pulled the sheet over his lower body as his cheeks reddened. Nitro clenched her jaw so she wouldn’t say anything and sat the tray down and removed the other before walking toward the door. 

“Thank you...” Sam said quietly causing Nitro to falter in her steps. “Could you please help me...Get back in bed?” he asked cautiously in a trembling voice, not sure if she would or not. He thought maybe he could do it after he rested in the chair for a bit to gain his strength back, but it didn‘t seem to be working. He was still too weak to get his body back in the bed without falling. He watched her stiffen and clench her fists before turning around and stalking back to where he sat. She reached down and put her arms around his body under his arms and lifted him onto the edge of the bed and let go. Even though she was still angry, she was gentle with him. Sam pushed himself up a little more and got his legs up on the bed covering them with the sheet. He was surprised when she sat the tray in his lap, still not saying anything, and left the room, leaving Sam alone to eat.

spn

Late afternoon rolled around and Nitro had gone back in and removed the tray, finding Sam asleep. He looked so young curled up on his side with his hands tucked under his chin, but lines of exhaustion were etched across his face. Nitro was washing the dishes when a familiar growl had her running for the window. She sighed with relief when Dean pulled the Impala under the carport at the side of the cabin. She jerked her cell out and quickly sent a text to Shadow that Gunny was back and they could go on to their cabin. She would keep them posted on what was going on. The door opened and Dean stepped into the foyer without speaking and headed for the bedroom. She saw a look she had seen many times on Gunny’s face. Nitro followed him and looked into the room to see Dean had pulled a chair over to the bed and was sitting there looking at his little brother. She didn’t say anything and slipped back to the kitchen to finish the dishes. She knew when he wanted to talk he would find her.

Dean sat stiffly in the chair, watching Sam sleep. His face was blank of any expression and his eyes were hard and unreadable. He didn’t move from the chair while he waited for his brother to stir. It was nearly two hours later that Sam started to move around under the covers and grunted as he wiped a hand down his face before sensing someone watching him. He got his eyes opened and looked beside him to see a man sitting in a chair staring at him. He blinked quickly a few times to clear his vision as much as he could and focused on him again, pushing his upper body up on his elbows to see better. He knew this was Dean even thought he had changed since the last time he had seen him. Sam started to open his mouth to make some smart remark when his brother spoke in a deep, commanding voice.

“Don’t speak! If you haven’t guessed, I’m the one who rescued you...Me and my team. I’m your sonovabitch dead brother.” he sneered at Sam, wanting him to know he heard what he said. “I already know what you think of me so you listen closely. I will stay around until you are able to look after yourself and then you can do whatever the hell you want. We don’t have to talk, hell, we don’t have to even see each other, but you will not disrespect Nitro in any way or you’ll answer to me. She saved your life when we got you out and you should be thanking her not throwing damn food at her.” he stated getting up to tower over Sam who shrunk back on the bed. “You will eat what you are given and do whatever she asks of you with no complaints. You can lose that shitty attitude and show some respect to those helping you. None of them had to risk their lives getting you out, they did it for me. Have I made myself clear?” Dean told him in a stern, commanding, no nonsense voice that left Sam slightly frightened of him. When he didn’t answer, Dean questioned him again. “Do- you- understand?” he asked slowly and harshly, raising his voice a level. 

Not trusting his voice, Sam nodded his head up and down quickly, his long hair falling into his face. He saw the hardness and anger and something else he couldn’t describe in his brother’s eyes and by his body language knew he needed to do as he said. Sam watched Dean turn and move the chair back to the corner before leaving the room. He let his body fall back on the bed and let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding in one sudden swoosh as he worked on sucking in a shaky one. Sam had to admit that Dean scared the shit out of him. What he didn’t understand was why he would risk his life and his team going to Mexico to save him if he felt this way about him. He still wondered where their Dad was and why Dean hadn’t mentioned him. Sam was sure that he would be happy to see Dean after all this time even if he wasn‘t. 

The sudden urge to pee hit Sam and he worked his way to the edge of the bed and the wheelchair knowing his legs wouldn’t support him yet. When he finally got situated in the chair, he rolled to the bathroom and relieved himself and washed his hands. Sam saw a shower chair in the tub and thought it would feel nice to get a shower but was afraid to try it by himself. When he wheeled himself back into the bedroom, Sam saw a stack of folded clothes sitting on his bed and wondered who put them there, Dean or Nitro. There were briefs, sweats, socks and tee shirts that had been newly washed. He picked up a tee shirt and pulled it over his head and let it settle down his body, then took some sweats and worked them up his legs and wiggled around until he had them over his hips. It felt good to have clean clothes again after the tattered, stinking, rags that he had to wear for the last few weeks. He sat by the bed thinking it would do him good to sit up for a little while. Sam wanted to explore this place but he was afraid to leave the bedroom for fear of running into his very angry brother.

spn

Dean found Nitro in the kitchen cooking dinner and looked in the fridge for something to drink. He opted for a root beer and took a seat at the bar. Nitro was stirring pots on the stove and was looking in the oven when Dean finally spoke.

“I owe you an apology Little Wolf. Sammy’s my responsibility not yours. I shouldn’t of run out on you.” he said quietly not taking his eyes off the soda bottle.

“It’s fine Gunny. I didn’t know you heard what he said, I’m sorry you did. There‘s a lot of anger and hurt in that boy.” she told him compassion and understanding in her voice. “I can handle him if you need to step back from this.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t deck him or worse.” he chuckled softly. 

“I thought of it. I don’t like wearing food, maybe when’s he better if he steps out of line I might not be as polite.” 

“I told him to show you some respect, you did save his life.” 

“You didn’t have to do that, I can take care of myself.” she insisted with a disgruntled huff. Gunny looked after everyone else before himself, always had since they had been together. He would not put his team in any danger that he wouldn’t go into himself.

“What smells so good?” Dean asked changing the subject.

“Baked chicken breast, wild rice, green beans and rolls. I also have a pie baking for dessert.”

“You’ve outdone yourself Little Wolf. This is a treat, I can’t wait to eat.” 

“Do you want to bring your brother in here to eat?” 

“No.” he stated firmly. “I’ll take him a tray.”

“He’ll have to come out sometime Gunny. Don’t make this another prison for him.” she cautioned him trying to be a mediator. “Maybe after both of you calm down, you might be able to have a civilized conversation. And then maybe you can work on becoming brothers again. Look, you take the other bedroom and I’ll sleep in the bedroom with Pup.”

“I can use the couch; no use you having to do that.”

“No. There’s no use arguing, it’s settled so deal with it.” she stated as she pulled the chicken and rolls from the oven. “I’ll get a tray ready for Pup.” Nitro poured soup into a cup and set it on a tray along with a couple of rolls, protein drink, small bowl of wild rice and green beans, ginger ale, and a banana. She started to pick it up but was stopped by Dean who hefted the tray and headed for the bedroom before she could say anything. Nitro watched him walk down the hall and sighed thinking she had her work cut out for her.

A/N: So first meeting didn’t go so well between the brothers. I couldn’t have it be easy now could I? Thank you to everyone for the support you have given this story. Only two chapters left now and it will be ending. I hope the journey has been a good one. I do like comments, if you have a moment please leave one. NC


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: This was a hard chapter to write but I hope I have captured the feelings and emotions of both brothers as I think they felt. I have tried to be as realistic and believable as possible and hope I did it justice. My thanks for the support of this story and sadly to say there is only one more chapter left and it will include the Epilogue. I do love comments, if you have a moment please leave me one. NC

 

 

Sam shifted in the wheelchair as his bottom started feeling nub. The chair was not the most comfortable thing and he decided it was time to get back in bed. He made sure the chair was close to the bed, wheels locked and pushed up with his arms, trying to lift his body enough to move to the bed. He swore when he fell back into the wheelchair, his arms giving way before he could shift himself since his legs wouldn't hold his weight yet. His arms were trembling with the effort and sweat had broken out on his forehead. He didn't see Dean standing at the door with the tray as he watched his brother struggling to get on the bed without face planting. A very tiny grain of the bond that they once shared sparked in his soul and he clenched his jaw for a moment snorting and sitting the tray down on the other bed. Dean got behind Sam and when he tried to shift his body again, Dean grabbed him under the armpits and easily moved him to the edge of the bed. He could feel Sam's body trembling under his hands as he gripped him. Sam jerked his head to the side so fast his neck popped as he looked at his brother's face so close to his own, and for a moment felt the tug of something that had been long forgotten over the years, and then he was released to sit on the bed. Sam swayed sideways as he got his balance and turned to see what Dean was doing. He saw the tray and eyed the food hungrily, licking his lips in anticipation. 

“Slide back in the bed.” Dean said curtly, waiting for Sam to comply. 

Sam bit his lower lip as he pushed back against the headboard and leaned on a pillow. He watched Dean sit the tray in his lap and turned to walk away without saying anything else. 

“Thanks.” Sam said just loud enough for Dean to hear before he stepped from the room. He didn't see the look of yearning on Dean's face as he forced his body to walk away. Sam looked down at the food trying to decide what to eat first, deciding on the rice and green beans. He closed his eyes and savored the taste of it as he chewed slowly before swallowing. The ginger ale was tart and ice cold as he sipped some through a straw. Sam continued to eat small bites of all the food, but didn’t finish anything. It seemed his eyes were bigger than his stomach right now. He burped several times as the food settled in his stomach and Sam decided to stop eating for now. He moved the tray off his lap to the bed beside him and wiggled down in it really needing to take a nap now. His eyes closed on their own as his body relaxed and his head fell slightly to the side with his mouth hanging slightly open. He didn’t wake when Dean checked on him and tossed a blanket over his prone body before leaving again. Dean didn't take the tray thinking he would wake and want more knowing small meals closer together were the best right now.

spn

Two hours later Nitro stuck her head in and saw Sam starting to stir as he moaned softly and stretched a little. She waited until he sensed her and looked her way before walking on in. 

“You want me to heat your soup back up?” she asked looking at the tray to be sure he was eating. 

“I hate to bother you...” Sam said looking away feeling the guilt of what he had done earlier. 

“I don’t mind, I’ll be right back.”

“Nitro, I’m sorry I threw food on you.” he apologized before she could leave.

“Ok, but let’s not do that again.” she said arching an eyebrow at him with a neutral look on her face.

“I won’t.” he assured her sighing with relief that she wasn't still mad.

“I’ll be right back with this, drink something you need to stay hydrated.”

Sam picked up the ginger ale and drank some and finished off the banana. He was trying to decide how to approach her about getting a bath without sounding too pathetic. He didn’t have long to wait and Nitro returned with the soup warmed up. 

“Do you think...Maybe I could get a shower after I finish this?” he asked hesitatingly. 

“Don’t see why not. I’ll get Gunny.” 

“No! Couldn’t you help me?” 

“Listen Pup, your brother is here to help. You both need to put aside your stubbornness and anger. For that matter, you both need to sit down and talk to each other. Might as well get it all out there in the open and move on. Now eat the soup and I’ll have Gunny come in in a few minutes to help you.”

“Why do you call him that?” Sam questioned. "For that matter why do you call me Pup?"

“Well, he was our leader and a damn good one and he was a sniper, one of the best. And as for you, well...Gunny calls me Little Wolf and for some reason I feel like you're my pup that needs taking care of. Guess my need to mother is showing, but don't get use to it.” she shrugged leaving him to finish the soup.

This information surprised Sam to learn his brother was a sniper. He couldn’t picture him doing that, but there was probably a lot he didn’t know about him. He could see a lot had changed about his brother and it all seemed for the best. Sam mulled over the resentment and hatred he had toward his brother and wondered if he could have a simple conversation with him without fighting. He didn’t have long to wait, ten minutes later Dean strolled in an impassive look on his face. Sam finished up the soup and put the cup on the tray.

“You want a shower?” he asked keeping his voice neutral and without emotions.

“Yes.” Sam said quietly only glancing up briefly at his brother and quickly adverting his eyes. "Please." he added as an afterthought.

Dean moved to stand by the bed and held out his arm to help Sam pull himself up. Sam looked at the strong, tan arm for a moment before gripping it with both hands and allowed Dean to pull him up as he swung his legs off the bed. He sat there a moment before Dean got him into the chair and wheeled him to the bathroom. Dean looked at the tub and the shower chair and the shower head seeing it had a detachable head and five foot hose. He judged the distance and moved the chair before turning on the water. Sam pulled his tee shirt off and worked the sweats over his bottom and down his legs, kicking them off out of the way. 

“I...I think I borrowed a pair of your briefs.” he said when Dean turned back to him. 

“’s fine.” Dean replied moving the chair beside the tub. He got behind Sam and shifted him onto the shower chair and pulled the shower door almost closed. “Toss the briefs out and you can switch the water to the shower head.”

“Ok.” Sam said doing as he was told and dropping them onto the bathroom floor. He hissed as the water hit him in the chest cold for a second and then turning warm. Sam let out a slow breath as the water beat down on him, relishing the warmth and wetness of it. He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed with relief. Being captive for that long, he didn't realize how much he took for granted a simple thing like a hot shower and clean clothes. 

“Here’s shampoo, soap and washcloth.” Dean said opening the door enough to sit them on the rim of the tub. He kept his eyes diverted to allow Sam some privacy and put the commode lid down to sit on it while he showered.

Sam held his head forward wetting his hair so he could wash it. He worked the suds through the hair and into his scalp finding a few tender spots. Once his hair was done, Sam soaped the washcloth and washed his body, trying to be careful of the lacerations Nitro had stitched and put steri strips on. He jumped slightly when Dean pushed the shower door open and spoke.

“Let me have the cloth and lean forward so I can wash your back.” he said holding out his hand. 

Sam soaped the cloth again and passed it back to Dean before leaning forward propping his hands on his knees for support. He could feel Dean removing the taped pads from his back and felt a hand moving carefully down his back checking the whip marks. The washcloth moved gently over his back and it felt like heaven. Sam closed his eyes and couldn’t help but let a soft sigh of happiness. The cloth stopped moving for a moment before continuing on as far as Dean could wash. He went back over it again before laying the washcloth on Sam’s shoulder and moving to open the other shower door to reach the shower head. 

“Hold still an’ I’ll rinse your back.” 

Sam didn’t move as the water washed over his back rinsing the suds away and making him shutter for a moment thinking nothing had felt so good. He was almost disappointed when Dean put the head back in the holder and closed the door. He sat back up and just let the water wash over him for a while longer before shutting it off. A towel was offered to him and he took it and started drying off. 

“Got you some clean clothes.” Dean said laying clothes on the counter. 

“I’m ready.” Sam said pushing the shower door open. He had the towel draped over his lap for modesty sake. 

Dean shifted Sam to the wheelchair and tossed another smaller towel at him for his hair. Sam used it to towel dry his hair and wiped his damp shoulders before pushing the chair close enough to shift onto the commode with a little help from Dean. Dean stepped out allowing some privacy. Once he was done, he slipped his briefs on and pulled on his sweats and then the tee shirt. Just taking a bath completely exhausted him and he slowly rolled to the other room to find Dean sitting in the chair. He knew now was as good a time as any to ask some questions even if he was tired. He needed to know the answers before he could move forward, if there was a forward to move to.

“Where’s Dad?” Sam asked glancing sideways at Dean, waiting for an answer.

A frightened look crossed Dean’s face of a split second and then it went back to neutral as he looked down at his balled fists knowing he was going to have to tell him. He had been dreading this moment since Sam woke up and asked about their father. At least he was a little stronger, but he didn't know what type of impact this would have on his brother.

“Dean.... Where’s Dad?” Sam asked again looking at him now as he tensed, waiting for a response. A coldness started forming in the pit of his stomach because he was sure he knew the answer but wouldn't allow himself to believe it. If Dad were still alive, Sam knew he would of been here by now; he was sure of it.

“Dad didn’t make it Sammy.” Dean said quietly not looking up from his clenched hands as he spoke.

“Wh...a...No...” Sam gasped in disbelief as hot tears filled his eyes and began to roll down his face. He clutched his middle as heartbreaking sobs filled the bedroom. This was another loss that was his fault and bore down on him taking his breath away. The weight on his soul just doubled making it grow dim and flicker.

Dean couldn’t stand it, no matter how mad he was at Sam and pulled the wheelchair closer and put his arms around his brother and pulled him close to let his head rest in the nape of his neck as he rubbed his back, making small circles up and down it as he mumbled soft words to his brother.

The news about his father pushed Sam over the edge and his mind snapped. He didn’t even know Dean had pulled him into his embrace at first and stayed there sobbing into his neck until he suddenly pushed away from him wiping his face with the back of his hand as his breath hitched and cracked.

“Sammy?” Dean asked when he pushed away and turned his back to him.

“G-Go...” Sam cried out in a hoarse, sobbing voice. 

Knowing he couldn’t console his brother, Dean left him alone and went to the other bedroom so Nitro wouldn’t see his tears. He had already put his bag in here and decided to get a shower thinking maybe he could wash away some of the stress and grief he was feeling. At least he could cry and no one would see or know since the water would wash the tears down the drain. He got some clothes out of his bag noticing he needed to do some laundry if he wanted to have clean clothes after tomorrow. 

spn

Sam threw himself onto the bed and buried his head into the pillow as he screamed out his pain and grief. His Dad was dead and it was because of him, Dean didn’t say it but he knew. Now he had lost both parents and both were because of him. He just had to go to the library that afternoon instead of waiting until the next day when his Mom wasn’t so busy, but he had begged until she finally conceded and took him. On the way back she was gunned down in a drive by shooting. His Dad had to have been looking for him and was killed to get him out of the way. He curled into a fetal position as his breathing became erratic and his throat started closing up as he began to have an anxiety attack. He fought to get a breath in as his wheezing got worse. Lucky for him Nitro came into the room to check on them and found him almost unconscious as he gurgled and gagged for air.

“Pup, hey you gotta breathe!” she told him urgently, patting his cheeks and rubbing his chest. She pulled him to a sitting position and began to pat his back firmly as she continued to talk. “Listen to me! Breathe in and out, come on....In and out....Relax, relax...Pup you can do this, slow and easy.” she kept encouraging until he finally got air into his lungs and started taking short, raspy breaths as she continued to mumble to him until he was starting to breath easier. “There you are...what happened?” 

“D-Da-Dad’s de-dead.” Sam stuttered out before coughing to try and clear his throat. 

“I’m sorry, I know it hurts. Let it all out, it’ll be okay.” she whispered brushing the hair from his face. “Here blow your nose.” she said offering him tissues. 

With a trembling hand, Sam accepted the tissue and blew his nose and wiped his face before burying his face back into the pillow. Nothing mattered anymore now that he was alone. He sobbed quietly now, the tears wetting his pillow until he was so exhausted sleep finally overtook him. Nitro saw he had gone to sleep and draped a blanket over his body before leaving him alone. She went to the other bedroom door and heard the shower shut off through the partly open door. Nitro stepped away and headed back toward the kitchen wanting to give the brothers their space. She knew it was just as hard on Dean as it was on Sam having to tell him their Dad was gone. 

spn

A week had passed and Sam wouldn’t get out of bed except to go to the bathroom. He wouldn’t eat, shower, or take care of himself. He shut down and didn’t acknowledge either of their presence when they brought him trays with food. Sam was becoming despondent and listless as he grieved. Dean was growing more worried with each passing day and knew he had to take action for the both of them. He wasn’t going to sit back and watch him fade away to nothing. 

Nitro brought the tray back to the kitchen, but it had hardly been touched. Dean looked at it and pinched his lips into a thin line deciding this was going to end. 

“Little Wolf I think it’s....” Dean started but Nitro interrupted him.

“I’m packing up and leaving.” she stated. “You can take me to town and I’ll get a motel room so I’ll still be around, but you need time alone with your brother to sort all this out. Pup’s body is trying to heal, but his mind is losing ground. He’s wanting to give up and you can’t let him, you need to fight for the both of you and don’t give up. You never give up on family. You’ve got the burner I gave you, so if you do need me or just want to talk to someone, I’m a phone call away. There's plenty of food for a couple more weeks, but you might want to pick up another loaf of bread and milk while you’re out. But remember Gunny, he’s fragile right now and needs a brother, not a Marine. Let yourself feel too, you both need to heal. I think you can work it out together. Find what you lost and nurture it, let it grow. I know its still there if you look for it.” she finished before turning to go to the bedroom to pack her duffel. 

Dean stood in the kitchen with his mouth still open wondering what just happened. It was as if she knew what he was going to say before he said it. He was going to ask her to leave for a while so he could have some alone time with Sammy. He was going to confront Sam and get everything out in the open no matter how bad it hurt. They were all either of them had left now and deep down in his soul he knew he didn’t want to lose him too. Fifteen minutes later Nitro was back with her duffel. 

“I’m ready, I looked in on him and he’s sleeping I think.” she told Dean as she waited at the door for him. "Should you leave him a note?"

“I will. Let me put my boots on.” he said heading back to the other bedroom. Dean was back in five minutes and grabbed his jacket and keys on the way out. He locked the front door and headed for the Impala getting in the driver’s seat. He looked back toward the cabin a slight frown on his face not really wanting to leave Sam alone, but it wouldn‘t be that long and he had been taking long naps recently so maybe he could get back as he was waking up. He at least left a note on the nightstand that he would be back.

“He’ll be ok while you’re gone Gunny.” Nitro assured him when she saw his expression. 

“Okay.” he mumbled and cranked the car pulling away from the cabin.

spn

An eerie silence filled the cabin as Sam rolled over and lay there staring toward the door. He needed to pee and usually one of them would be in here helping him up and to the bathroom before now. He pushed the covers down off his legs and let them hang off the side of the bed until he could get the energy together to push his body up to a sitting position. He sat there balancing himself on his hands as he drew in short breaths. He didn't notice the piece of paper laying on the nightstand that Dean had left. After a few minutes, Sam got into the wheelchair and moved it toward the bathroom at a snail’s pace. He almost fell getting on the commode but finally managed to and relieved himself. He sat there feeling his strength drain from him. Getting back in the chair was twice as hard and a light sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead by the time he got rolling toward the other room. He stopped at the bed, but looked toward the open door a little curious about where he was even thought he felt weak and lightheaded. He pushed on the wheels and the chair moved toward the door and out into the hallway. Sam looked one way and saw another door and looked the other to see open space. He turned that way and found himself between the family room and kitchen. The placed looked nice, but he didn’t see anyone around or heard anyone. 

“H’llo?” he said in a raspy, hoarse, squeaky voice. Sam coughed weakly and tried again. “H’lo.” he tried to call again but got no answer back just a hollow echo. Panic started to build in his mind as he pushed to the sliding glass door toward the back of the house and saw an empty deck. He was breathing heavily by the time he got to the front door and tried to get it open. His fingers tried to work the lock but he couldn’t seem to get them to cooperate. He finally gave up and got the wheelchair to the window and looked out to the front of the cabin and saw an empty driveway that circled in front of the house. Tears had started welding up in his eyes and dripping down his face when he realized he was alone. Had they left him here on his own? Were they coming back? What was he going to do? He tried to slow down his breathing and calm his pounding heart but he couldn’t think clear. His mind was filled with a heavy fog making him dizzy and mixed up. He jerked his head sideways when noises sounded down the hall. He was getting so weak and the chair felt like it weighted a ton as he moved his arms to try and get it to move. The hallway seemed to have increased in length and it took him forever to get the wheelchair back to the bedroom. The room was fading in and out and shadows were turning into attackers as he shielded away from them and sobbed out loud in fear. He finally got back to the bed and fell into it not able to get his legs up on the mattress. He lay on his back panting for air and mumbling incoherently until he was lost in a veil of darkness.

spn

Dean unlocked the door and let himself in carrying several bags in each hand. He went to the kitchen and put away the cold things before heading back to check on his brother. He found Sam tangled in the sheets half off the bed and lifted his legs to the mattress. He could smell the strong odor of sweat wafting off him and decided he was getting a shower if he had to put him in the tub fully clothed. 

Sam stirred for a moment and whimpered as he tried to get awake enough to figure out what was going on. 

“Yu’....Cam‘....Bac‘.” he forced out when he saw what looked like his brother standing by the bed. 

“Of course I did. Didn’t you see the note?” Dean asked when he saw the stressed look on his brother’s face. “Are you okay?” 

Sam nodded yes, not trusting his voice at the moment. His mind was still muddled and all he could understand was Dean hadn’t left him after all. He closed his eyes again and let his mind drift away.

Dean glanced at the time and saw it was after lunchtime but Sam didn’t seem with it enough to eat. He would give him another hour and get his ass out of bed and moving around. He didn’t know Sam had thought he left him and almost went into another panic attack. He headed back toward the front of the cabin to unwind, letting Sam sleep a little longer. 

An hour and half later Dean pushed his chair back from the table and got up moving with a purpose toward the bedroom. He found Sam lying in bed staring off into space like all the other times he had checked on him in the past few days. Without saying anything, Dean reached down and grabbed a hand full of Sam’s dirty tee shirt in his fist and pulled him from the bed sitting him in the wheelchair. 

“Hey! Wh-a-...Stop!” Sam cried out in a raspy, croaking voice when he was suddenly jerked from the bed and sat in the wheelchair. Before he could complain further, Sam was wheeled from the room and down the hall and then toward the sliding glass doors. “Where are you taking me?” he fussed as Dean pushed him through the opening out onto the deck.

“Be quiet. You’re not going to get better lying around in bed.” Dean stated stopping the chair by a lounge chair and moving Sam onto it. “You need some sun and fresh air.” Dean moved the chair where Sam couldn’t reach it and left him sitting there in the sun before heading back inside.

Sam blinked hard as the sun had started to creep downward in the blue sky with only a scattering of fluffy clouds blocking its rays. It took Sam several minutes for his eyes to adjust to the light and looked around at his surroundings. The deck was large and part of it was covered. From where he sat he could see a lake between the trees sparkling as the sun’s rays hit the surface. What looked like a footpath off to the side of the yard led down to it. There was a gentle breeze rustling through the trees and blowing across the deck. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back feeling it caresses his face and thought it felt good. The sun was warming his skin and he brushed his hair from his face. Sam opened his eyes when noises got his attention. Dean had come back outside with a tray that he sat on the small table beside Sam’s chair within his reach.

“You need to eat; I’ll not let you starve yourself to death. So either you eat or...I feed you.” he said in a stern voice. “Believe me I will too. So do yourself a favor and do it the easy way, the other won‘t be as pleasant.” With that said Dean tossed a pair of sunglasses and hat in his lap and turned to head back inside leaving Sam alone. 

Sam didn’t get a chance to even answer his brother as Dean spouted orders at him and then left. He looked at the tray and back toward the door that Dean had disappeared into a little shocked. Dean seemed like a man of his word and even though he didn’t want any of it, Sam picked up the fork and plate and tried to eat. He stopped long enough to put on the sunglasses and hat then shifted around trying to get comfortable. He listened to the sounds coming out of the forest around him as the wildlife enjoyed the day. The area was beautiful, quiet and tranquil; a perfect place to heal. He spooned more into his mouth, chewing slowly and finally swallowing. He could feel his stomach churning as the food hit it and sipped some ginger ale. He could feel the burp that needed to come out and paused letting it work its way up his throat finally burping and feeling slightly better.

spn

Dean came out of Sam’s bedroom carrying sheets, towels and a few dirty clothes. He headed for the laundry room to throw them in the washer and was going to make Sam take a shower since he was starting to smell ripe. The news about their Dad seemed to have devastated him, but Dean was not going to let him destroy himself because of it. He was still his little brother no matter how Sam felt about him. He started the washer and went back into the bedroom opening the window to let in fresh air and took out clean sheets to make the bed, and then found the vacuum to go over each room. He straightened the bedroom and refolded the clothes that were wadded up in the chair. He cleaned the bathroom next, before heading out to check on Sam. It had been nearly an hour and most of the food was gone from the tray and Sam seemed to be napping.

“Time to go inside.” Dean said taking the tray first and coming back for Sam.

Sam stirred from his doze and with bleary eyes, looked around confused at where he was and how he got there. Dean came back into view and shifted him back to the wheelchair to take him inside. He didn’t protest or complain what his brother was doing and took off the glasses when he got inside. Dean didn’t stop in the bedroom and wheeled him on into the bathroom.

“You stink.” Dean stated adjusting the shower chair and moving the wheelchair up beside it. “You’ve got a clean bed and you need to shower before getting back in it.” He grabbed the hem of Sam’s tee shirt and pulled it up over his head. He waited tapping his foot for Sam to remove his sweats before helping him into the tub. Once he was sure he could reach the shampoo and soap, he closed the door and left him to shower. “I’ll be back, clean up or I'll do it for you.”

Sam sat there for a moment before removing his briefs and leaving them in the tub. He was afraid to not do as he was told for fear of the consequences. After turning the water on and letting it warm up, he pulled the lever to switch it to the shower head and let it spray on the top of his head. He soaked his hair and brushed it from his face before reaching for the shampoo to wash his hair. He rubbed it into his hair and massaged his scalp. He rinsed and did it again and rinsed the suds out of his hair. He took the soap and washed the sweat and stink from his body. It actually felt good to be clean again and the food he ate helped give him a little of his strength back. He finished up and reached for a towel to dry his hair and body.

spn

“Brought you some clothes.” Dean announced dropping them on the counter. “You ready to get out?”

“Yes.” Sam replied pushing the door open and letting Dean help him to the wheelchair. 

“I’ll wait out here.” Dean said stepping back out so he could get dressed.

After Dean stepped back out, Sam picked up his briefs and slipped them on then the sweats and tee shirt. He ran his fingers through his hair and rolled toward the door to see Dean sitting on a bed. He got up and stepped behind him and started rolling him out of the room and toward the kitchen.

“From now on you eat at the table, three to four meals a day with snacks. Need to build your strength back up. No more staying in bed all day either.” 

Sam bristled and spat back at him, “You’re not my father.”

Dean stiffened and turned back to him, fire in his eyes. “No, I’m not your father, but I’m your big brother. I’m all the family you have left, whether you like it or not. So you need to show me a little respect.” 

Sam shrunk down in his chair, looking at his hands and pouted as Dean stared hard at him. He drew in a deep breath and let it out reining in his anger, remembering what Nitro has said. Dean turned back to the fridge and got a protein drink and a small bowl of fruit out for him. He unscrewed the top and sat the bottle in front of Sam along with a straw. He took a seat across from him and began to eat a piece of pie and sip his coffee, ignoring Sam. 

“Eat and drink you shake.” Dean told him pointing his fork at Sam’s food. 

Sam put the straw in the shake and began to drink it as he stewed over what Dean had said. One thing was right, he did need to get stronger so he could leave this place and get away from his brother. He didn’t know what Dean had planned but he didn’t want to be a part of it, not now not ever. He ate the fruit and realized he hadn’t seen the woman around.

“Where’s your friend?” he asked quietly.

“She left. Won’t be back unless I call her. It’s just you and me now so get use to it.” Dean stated absently finishing up his pie and coffee. He took his dishes to the sink and quickly washed them. “Once you’re done you’re going to do some leg stretches so your muscles won’t atrophy and you can get on your feet quicker.” 

Sam didn’t say anything as he listened to his brother talk a pouty look of a five year old still on his face. He was deep in thought when he felt his brother beside him and looked sideways at him. 

“You done?” he asked motioning to the bowl.

Sam nodded yes and let him take the bowl that still had a couple pieces of fruit in it. Dean popped them in his mouth and took the bowl to the sink to wash and put away. He dried his hands and pulled Sam from the table and rolled him back to the bedroom and into the bathroom. 

“Brush your teeth and whatever else.” he told him stepping back out of the room.

With a sigh, Sam moved to the commode and slipped onto it to relieve himself. He got back in the chair and washed his hands and brushed his teeth. Knowing he couldn’t put it off any longer, Sam rolled out of the bathroom to find Dean waiting by the door.

“Alright, let’s see if you can stand at all.” Dean said parking the chair by the bed and offering his arm to him. He waited watching Sam’s facial expressions change until he finally reached out and took the offered arm allowing Dean to pull him up only to fall into him when his rubbery legs refused to support him. Dean caught him with ease before he face planted. “Thought so.” Dean nodded swinging him to the bed. After pushing Sam’s body down so he was stretched out on the bed, he took one leg and pushed it toward his chest bending it at the knee. “Push against my hand as hard as you can.” he instructed Sam putting negative pressure against the leg. Sam pushed and felt muscles tighten in his leg and almost cramp. “Again.” Dean kept exercising Sam’s legs for thirty minutes and then began to massage the muscles in his calf and thighs digging deep where the muscles were tight. Sam was not going to admit it, but what he was doing felt good and was disappointed when he stopped. “Get some sleep.” Dean told him pulling up the covers before heading to the other bedroom.

spn

The next week passed by slowly with Dean doing the same routine each day. He’d get Sam up, they’d have breakfast, Sam would sit on the deck in the sun while Dean cleaned the kitchen, Dean would exercise his legs, make him take a shower, they’d watch a movie from the selection in the cabin, Dean would fix lunch and they’d eat, more time in the sun, nap time, dinner, more exercise and then bedtime. Sam didn’t need a clock to know the time because Dean had everything timed out precisely. By the fifth day Sam stood for the first time and the next took a couple of steps. His strength was coming back and he was slowly beginning to eat solid foods again. The brothers had spoken very little during this time and the tension was still thick between them. On day seven, Sam walked with wobbly steps to the bathroom on his own. He was smiling when he came out, but stopped when he saw Dean leaning in the doorway.

“I see you‘re upright finally, that’s good. Breakfast’ll be ready in fifteen minutes.” Dean said before turning and heading for the kitchen. 

After changing clothes, Sam walked to the kitchen using the wall for balance and support. He smelled the aroma of food that made his mouth water as he took a seat at the dining room table. Sam studied his brother as he moved around in the kitchen cooking. He could see the brother he remembered in this man, but there was something else now that he couldn’t name. The radio was playing softly on the counter and he heard his brother humming to the song as he got plates ready for them.

“Hope you like pancakes.” he said sitting a plate with a stack of pancakes and bacon in front of Sam. He pushed the syrup closer and went to pour a glass of milk for him. He put another plate at the empty chair and poured a cup of coffee for himself before sitting down. He poured syrup over his stack and cut into them, cutting off a piece and eating it. “Think you’re strong enough to walk around the cabin?” 

“Maybe.” Sam mumbled cutting another bite of pancake and running it through some syrup before putting it in his mouth. He chewed it slowly, enjoying the taste and happy to be eating real food and not soup anymore. His body was healing, but his mind was still in turmoil over all that had happened to him. He continued to eat without really thinking about it, his mind elsewhere until Dean spoke to him and tapped him on the arm. “What?” Sam asked blinking rapidly and looking at him.

“I asked would you like more or something else?” Dean asked again looking closer at his brother when he saw the confused look on his face. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. That was enough, it was good.” he said looking down seeing his plate was empty. He got up and cautiously made his way back to the bedroom to use the bathroom. When he came out Dean was waiting for him.

“Let’s see if you can make it around the cabin.” Dean said pushing off the wall and waiting for Sam to follow. “Put this on, it’s cooler with today's storm brewing out there.” he said holding out a long sleeved shirt.

Sam accepted the shirt and slipped his arms into it, getting the scent of his brother on it and let some long forgotten memories come to the surface. It hung loosely over his thin body as he buttoned a couple of button to keep it closed. He followed his brother through the cabin to the back.

Dean headed for the sliding glass doors and waited for Sam to step onto the deck. “Here, found this when I walked down to the lake last week...” he said holding out a stick that was perfect for a cane. “When you’re steadier we’ll go down to the lake, got a nice dock and benches.” he shrugged holding out the stick waiting for Sam to take it.

“Thanks.” Sam whispered taking the stick and walking toward the two steps that would put him in the yard. He leaned on the stick like a cane and started walking toward the front of the cabin with slow steps working on keeping his balance. He could feel the presence of his brother trailing along behind him keeping his distance. Sam let his eyes wander around, taking in the scenery and paused when a rabbit scurried across the path in front of him. He watched it disappear into the shrubs alone the edge of the woods and smiled to himself. Sam faltered in his steps when he saw the Impala sitting there. With hesitate steps, Sam walked toward her and raised a trembling hand to the top running it down her. He bit his lower lip as tears welled in his eyes as he thought of his father. “He always said this car was going to be yours.” Sam said quietly as his voice caught in his throat.

Dean wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms tightly around his little brother and hold him, but he was afraid Sam would push him away instead of pulling him closer. He felt his brother’s pain and grief and knew he was trying to hide it from him. He could hear the soft sobs before Sam used his shirt sleeve to wipe his face and stepping away with one final stroke to the hood of the Impala. He walked down the driveway venturing further from the cabin as he explored the area. Dean stayed behind him and let him go where he pleased knowing there was nothing here that would harm him. Dean had felt their presence before Nitro left but didn't say anything knowing they were doing what he taught them. He looked up to the sky and saw the darker clouds were rolling in and the wind was picking up. He felt the coolness of it against his skin and smelled the dampness in the air. 

“Better not go too far, you don’t need to get caught in the rain and get sick.” Dean cautioned him when it looked like Sam wasn’t going to stop walking.

“Alright.” he replied stopping in the driveway and looking back toward the cabin. Sam was surprised he had walked this far and could feel his strength fading. He turned back, stumbling and would of fallen if Dean hadn’t grabbed his arm to steady him. 

“Whoa there, easy.” Dean said not letting go until Sam was steady again. “Let’s head back.” he said giving the darkened sky another look.

Sam followed his gaze and saw why he was hurrying him alone. He moved as fast as he could back up the driveway hearing the first drops of rain hitting the leaves in the trees. Without warning, Dean threw Sam over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and ran for the house trying to beat the rain that had started to come down. He made it to the front porch just as the clouds opened up and delivered their load to the Earth. He sat a slightly damp Sam back on his feet and looked out at the downpour and flinched slightly from a streak of lightening followed by a rumbling clap of thunder. 

“Let’s get inside.” he told Sam. “Something hot to drink sounds good.” 

“Sure.” Sam huffed just getting his breath back from being slung over Dean’s shoulders and jogged back to the cabin. He grabbed the doorway for support as he stepped back into the cabin and used the stick as support to get to a chair at the table. He dropped heavily into it, glad to be off his feet. Jumping when a streak of lightening hit somewhere nearby and thunder shook the cabin, Sam looked to his brother for comfort. He was not sure why he did that and glanced away before Dean saw, but didn't know he saw him anyway.

“Here, drink this.” Dean told him sitting a cup of hot tea sweetened with honey by his clasped hands. 

Sam looked down at the drink before clasping his cold hands around the cup to warm them before lifting it to his lips, blowing across the top to cool it and taking a sip feeling it warm all the way down to his stomach. He closed his eyes and relished the taste and warmth as the storm raged outside the cabin walls.  
The more he drank, the more relaxed and sleepier he got.

“Think you need to take a nap.” Dean told him sitting down his coffee and helping his brother up guiding him to his bedroom. 

“N‘....I’m....g’od.” Sam slurred sleepily as Dean got him in bed and draped a blanket over his body as he curled up on his side asleep before Dean left the room. 

spn

With his brother down for a nap, Dean took the time to call Bobby and check in with him. He found the number in the contact list and listened to it ring on the other end.

"H'llo Singer Salvage." the familiar voice answered.

"Hey Bobby." Dean sighed.

"Dean, how are you doing son? How's Sam?" he asked.

"I told him about Dad and he didn't take it well." Dean started. "I had to intervene and make him start getting better. I'm not really sure where we stand right now. He hates me, but he needs me for the moment. After that....Damn I don't know Bobby....I'll bring him to you if that's what he wants and leave...."

"I think you're getting ahead of yourself son, have you tried talking to him?" 

"He doesn't want to. We've had a couple of curt conversations, but I plan on doing that now that he's getting better. He's at least starting to walk now, so his strength is building up."

"Talk to him Dean, stop being a hard ass. You're not going to solve anything if you don't communicate."

"Alright, I know." he huffed. "I'll talk to you later."

"Do it son, keep in touch."

Dean closed the cell and sat back in the chair knowing Bobby was right about talking to Sam. He needed to lay everything out on the table and accept whatever happened. They both had unresolved issues to deal with and he knew neither would be able to move on unless they dealt with them. He listened to the rain outside and let it calm him as he tried to work out his strategy.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: We've come to the end of this journey, thank you for taking it with me and I hope I have entertained you. I have enjoyed creating this universe and characters in it. This chapter was a hard one to write because I really didn't want it to end, but they must. I would like to know if you liked the ending. Comments are welcome, if you have a moment to leave one, please do. NC

 

Chapter 11

 

Sam opened his eyes and tried to look around him, but could only see a foggy mist surrounding him. He turned slowly in a circle trying to make out anything that would tell him where he was, but the mist hung heavy in the air. He could feel it cool against his skin as he took a tentative step forward feeling unbalanced and lightheaded. He held his arms out for balance as he slid his foot forward trying to feel any obstacles in his way. He wanted to call out, but something told him not to for fear of what might be out there and hear him. After more than a dozen steps, Sam started to make out a shape of a person ahead of him. The mist whirled and spun around him making it hard to see who was standing there. Sam carefully took another step forward toward the figure squinting his eyes to see better. As he got closer, something familiar about the figure clicked in Sam’s mind. He knew this person, but his mind wouldn’t accept what he was seeing. 

“Dad?” Sam whispered in shock as the mist seemed to part just enough for him to see a shadowy figure that was definitely his father. “Dad!” he said louder as he tried to step closer but found his feet were stuck and wouldn’t move. He pulled harder on his legs as he kept his eyes on his father who hadn’t moved or acknowledged him. “Dad, can’t you hear me? It’s Sam.” he called as panic began to build in his voice. 

John stared off in the distance and a slow smile began to spread across his face as another shadowy figure moved in the mist toward him. The closer it got, the clearer the figure became until it stopped by John. Sam could see them both plainly now and knew they were his dead parents. A soft spotlight seemed to illuminate their bodies, casting them in an ethereal light that seemed otherworldly. He blinked his eyes rapidly and shook his head slightly before looking to them again to be sure they were still there.

“Mom....” Sam gasped out as his mother stepped into her husband’s arms. “Mom....Dad...” he said in disbelief as he watched them hug and look lovingly into each others eyes. “I’m here.” Sam called in a weak voice trying again to move toward them, but couldn’t break his feet free. He could only watch as they kissed briefly and with arms around each other turned to walk away from him, but looked back for a moment at him and smiled before they disappeared into the mist....”No! Come back!” 

Sam sat up in bed gasping for air as he looked around the bedroom in the cabin for his parents. He felt the wetness on his face and realized he was crying. He worked hard on controlling his rapid breathing and pounding heart beat so he could calm down. He closed his eyes and tried to recall the dream, thinking how real it seemed. 

“You awake?” Dean asked from the doorway. 

“Yeah.” Sam mumbled wiping his face so he wouldn’t see the tears.

“Got some lunch ready if you’re hungry.” 

“I’ll be there in a minute, let me use the bathroom.” he answered keeping his face diverted and down.

“Alright.” Dean shrugged heading back to the kitchen. He knew something was up with his brother, but didn’t press him about it.

Sam let out the sob he was holding in and got up stumbling to the bathroom. He braced his hands on either side of the sink and drew in a couple of deep breaths before looking up into his haggard reflection staring back at him. He turned on the cold water and splashed it on his face several times before stopping and letting the droplets drip into the sink. It took several minutes to get his thoughts together and think about what he had seen. It had been a dream, right? Sam wasn’t sure if he believed in God or not or what happened after you died, but he did hope that whatever was out there that his parents had found each other and were at peace now. It seemed to ease his mind a little to think that was a possibility. He picked up a hand towel and dried his face before heading to find his brother.

spn

Dean was putting food on the table as Sam made his way into the dining room and took a seat. He had fixed sandwiches, soup and sliced fruit. Sam looked at the food but didn't know if he could eat anything right now. He felt queasy and his stomach clenched for a moment as he swallowed hard trying to control it.

“Any ginger ale left?” he asked hoping it would calm his stomach.

“Yeah, in the fridge.” Dean nodded noting Sam seemed slightly nervous and pale. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Sam mumbled getting up and looking in the fridge, moving things around until he found one. He had it opened and sipping on the cold liquid before sitting back down. The nausea seemed to settle as the coldness hit his stomach and he burped softly covering his mouth and mumbling excuse me. He sat back down at the table without looking at his older brother.

Dean tool a bite of his sandwich as he watched his brother wondering what was going on with him. He almost looked spooked and wondered if he had another bad dream while he had been napping. Sam picked at his food, breaking off a piece of bread and dipping it in the soup before eating it. The piece wanted to lodge in his throat and not go down so he grabbed his drink and washed it on down. Deciding maybe just the soup would be better; he spooned some into his mouth and swallowed it. Sam could feel Dean’s eyes on him and kept his head down not wanting to meet those eyes for fear he would see had rattled he was. He was halfway through eating when his thoughts were interrupted by his brother’s voice.

“So...After you finish eating, we need to talk.” Dean commented deciding he might as well get it over with. He wanted to get past whatever unspoken problems Sam felt toward him. He figured might as well rip the bandage off in one swift jerk and get it over with and then he would know how to proceed. His heart was heavy with doubt and guilt, not sure which way Sam would go and could only hope his brother wouldn't shut him out of his life.

Sam froze for a moment, not sure what he meant by that, but had an idea. He didn’t answer him as he stared into his soup not hungry anymore. He pushed his bowl away from him and looked sideways at his brother seeing no emotions on his face as he stared back.

“About what?” he asked trying to sound in control, when his mind was spinning out of control.

“For starters, us. Look I know you hate me, but I wanted to tell you...I’m sorry.” He huffed a laugh and continued. “Doesn‘t sound like much now that I‘ve said it, but damnit I am and...I hope maybe one day you can forgive me...” Dean started looking down at his partly eaten sandwich knowing he wouldn‘t be eating any more of it. “I’m sorry I left, but I couldn’t stay and keep my sanity. I tried so hard to help you back then but you kept pushing me away and fighting against me. You refused let me help no matter what I tried and Dad...God Dad was so lost in his own grief he couldn’t see what was going on with us. I tried to get him to get counseling for us all, but he just kept putting it off...” he said wiping a hand down his face with the memories. “I know losing Dad was devastating Sammy. It was hard on me too, but you’re all I have left now and I don’t want to lose you.”

Sam wasn’t really listening to what Dean was saying except to catch the I’m sorry part. He was sorry for leaving him all those years ago, sorry for abandoning him, sorry for not being there when he needed him, sorry for not coming home in eight years. If he had been around maybe things would be different and their father would still be alive. 

“You were not there for me!” Sam spat at him as his anger started to erupt and he got louder. “And you’re sorry? You don’t remember do you?” 

“Remember what?” Dean asked as a frown wrinkled his forehead at Sam’s outburst. He wasn’t sure how to answer him as he tried to sort through his old memories and find the answer.

“You told me you’d always be there for me....That you’d keep me safe...Well you did a bang up job ass hole!” he screamed, jumping up and sending his chair crashing to the floor and headed for the front door not wanting to be in the same room with him. How could he forgive him? How could he forgive him when he couldn’t forgive himself? He still blamed himself for his mother’s death and now his father’s death was on him too and he might as well add running his brother off. Sam stormed out the front door and headed around the house and into the woods trying to escape the pain. He didn’t pay attention to where he was going as he worked his way through the trees and brush, slapping branches out of his face and trying not to stumble. Tears blurred his eyes as he kept moving deeper into the forest. He tried to listen for Dean following him but didn’t hear him. He had been walking for over thirty minutes when he had to stop and rest. He leaned heavily against a tree trying to catch his breath before moving to a fallen tree to sit down. He leaned over panting hard and wiped his face on his shirt sleeve. He caught his brother’s scent again and madly jerked the long sleeved shirt off and tossed it to the ground in disgust. Sam’s eye caught a branch just below where he was sitting that had a sharp point on it and stood using his foot to break it off. He picked up the six inch limb and studied the pointed end as he heaved deep breaths. He looked at his scarred arm and at the sharp stick before drawing the end across a scar drawing blood and making him flinch. He watched the blood well up and start to trickle down his arm and made ready to do it again needing to feel more pain so it would override the raw, fresh emotions in his mind.

“Hey Kid, you’re not doing something stupid are you?” a male voice asked. “’cause I wouldn’t advise it.”

Sam jumped and stared wild eyed at a tall stranger who was leaning against a tree six feet from him. He was so focused on what he was doing; he hadn’t heard the guy walk up on him. But even if he knew, he probably wouldn't have heard him. Sam backed away and held the sharp stick out in front of him as a weapon. 

“Your brother know you’re out here?” he asked showing no fear of his measly weapon.

“You know my brother?” Sam asked in surprise as the stick wavered in his hand.

“We were never introduced since you were out of it most of the time I was around. I was part of the team that rescued you from Mexico. Name’s Shadow. You thirsty?” he asked holding out a bottle of water to Sam.

“So you know the woman Nitro too?” Sam asked taking the water and gulping several long swallows.

“Yep and there’s one more Trace, he’s at the cabin now. We’re taking turns keeping an eye on Gunny and the surrounding area just in case.” 

“Just in case of what?” 

“Don’t ever know, now why are you out here?” Shadow asked stepping to Sam and pushing him down on the fallen tree with one quick shove. Sam grunted in anger, but didn’t say anything to the stranger who towered over him. He pulled the stick from his grasp and tossed it aside then pulled out some ointment and gauze. He pulled Sam’s arm closer and looked at it before smearing the cream on the scratch and wrapping gauze around it for protection. “Well Kid you gonna talk or not?” 

“I don’t know...” Sam grunted madly as he kicked at the ground with the toe of his boot. “He said he was sorry and I...I lost it...He doesn’t care about me....He left me alone....”

“Stop right there dumb ass.” Shadow commanded harshly before he could continue. “You don’t know your brother very well do you. My team, none of us talked much about our past, but when Gunny got half a bottle of Jack in him he let a few things slip. All he talked about was you and how smart you were growing up and the regret he had at leaving you behind. If he could of took you with him I know he would have. Do you know what he did take with him on every mission we went on? Hell, he has it on him all the time for that matter.” 

Sam shook his head no as he listened to Shadow talk about his brother. He could hear the respect in his voice, the same that he heard in Nitro’s. These people really cared a lot for his brother and he was finding out the type of person his brother really was.

“He had a beat up, dog eared photo of two boys; one looked around twelve and the other eight leaning against a black car. I’m guessing it’s that Impala he's driving now. You could see the brotherly love the older one had for the younger one by the look on his face. He said it was so he would never forget what he was fighting for and who he had to go back to. He kept it in a pocket over his heart because that’s where you were, in his heart. Don’t think for a minute that your brother doesn’t love you, ‘cause he does. He told me once he was afraid to go home because he didn’t think you would ever forgive him for leaving, but he had to because he couldn‘t face not seeing you again. Is that true? You’re never gonna forgive him?” 

“I...I don’t know.” Sam said quietly as he processed what Shadow had told him. He thought Dean had forgotten him after all this time and only rescued him because others would look down at him if he didn't. 

“Well you should think long and hard about it. If you wanna kill your brother, I’ll let you use my gun and put him out of his misery instead of letting him suffer without you. I think deep down you know he needs you and I kinda think you need him too. He’s all you’ve got left now, that is beside us.” 

“Us?” Sam questioned looking at him sideways with a confused look.

“Yeah, me, Nitro and Trace. We’re Gunny’s family, so that make us your family too and family takes care of their own. So you’re gaining two brothers and a sister in the deal. Be really honest with yourself Kid, who are you really angry at?” he questioned looking at Sam for an answer.

Sam clenched is hands into fist as all the pent up emotions wanted to come out all at once. He tried to stifle a sob that escaped as tears ran down his face and he looked away. Sam stiffened when suddenly he was pulled into a tight one armed hug by Shadow and broke down letting him comfort him. After a few minutes, Shadow patted him on the back and pulled him to his feet.

“Let’s go find your brother; I know he’s out here looking for you.” Shadow told him putting a hand on his shoulder and guiding him back toward the cabin. They hadn’t been walking more than ten minutes when Dean stepped from among some trees, red faced and panting from running. “See I told you.” Shadow beamed, proud he was right.

“S’my!” Dean huffed out as he caught his breath. “Are you okay?” he questioned seeing the gauze on his arm, but not stepping closer to inspect it. He looked to Shadow and nodded his thanks for his help. “Wondered when you were gonna pop up and quit sneaking around in the woods.” 

“Damn!....I thought we had done a good job being invisible.” Shadow complained. “Guess we never could get anything by you.”

“Can...Can we talk?” Sam asked quietly as he wiped his face. 

“You’re not going to run away again are you?”

“No. Sorry.” Sam responded hanging his head in shame. He shouldn’t of treated his brother like he did and he was ashamed of himself. He realized now how selfish he was being and only thinking of himself.

“I’ll head back to the cabin.” Shadow said leaning close to Sam and whispering, “Remember what I said.” He tossed a bottle of water to Dean and gave Sam a gentle push toward his brother before leaving them facing each other in the forest. He pulled his cell out and sent a text to Trace and Nitro to meet him at Dean‘s cabin. Shadow had a feeling maybe they would need the extra support once they talked things out. 

spn

Dean downed half the bottle before stopping as he caught his breath and looked at his brother. “You had me worried Sammy; I was afraid you’d got lost or injured.” 

“Is it true?” Sam asked carefully as he scuffed his toe on the forest floor.

“Is what true?” Dean questioned, not sure what Sam was asking.

“That you carried a photo of me and you with you all this time?”

Dean looked at him hard for a moment and reached into his pocket for his wallet. He opened it up and pulled out a ragged, creased picture that someone had laminated to protect it from falling apart. 

“You mean this?” he asked holding it out to Sam.

Sam took the offered photo and held it in trembling fingers as he stared at it seeing two brothers, the older with his arm around the younger one’s shoulders. Sam frowned and tried to remember when this was taken and closed his eyes trying to picture that day so many years ago. They were helping their Dad wash the Impala and Mom had come out and took some pictures of them. 

“I remember this; we were washing the Impala...” Sam said trailing off.

“Yeah, I know.” Dean replied. “Okay if we go sit down over there?” he asked nodding to some boulders nearby that were shaded by the tree branches. He could see Sam’s body weave a little and didn’t want him falling down.

“Okay.” Sam said holding the photo with care as they walked to the boulders and sat down. He looked at the photo one last time before handing it back to Dean and watched as he replaced it in his wallet. “Why do you even care?” Sam questioned pain wrapped around each word as he continued. “I’m the reason Mom died, for you leaving...And now Dad....If it hadn’t been for me....”

“Stop it right now! I don’t wanna hear that kind of talk coming from you.” he insisted as his voice grew louder for a moment. “You are not the reason Mom died. She died because of some asshole with a gun trying to make a name for himself. And you are not the reason I left Sammy. I was so screwed up I didn’t know what to do...I had to come to terms with everything on my own. Man Sammy, if I had known what you were going through....I would of been there for you. Dad was doing what any father would do; he was looking for his son. You can’t blame yourself for either of their deaths Sammy. I don’t blame you, I never did, never would. You gotta believe me. I went to Bobby‘s looking for you and found out what happened. I just prayed we would find you in time. I‘ve never been so scared in my life, if we‘d been too....” Dean said, his voice cracking before he could finish. He swiped a hand over his eyes to wipe the tears away before they fell. He stared off into the forest and forced the lump back down his throat.

Sam was reeling from all the emotions that were flooding through his mind as he tried to process all that had happened. He wasn’t sure how he felt, but he did know being here with his brother seemed right. This was where he belonged. He suddenly felt safe for the first time in a long time. He looked up at his brother seeing the grief on his face and the tears he was trying to stop from falling.

“I missed you so much....” Sam suddenly cried, stumbling to his feet to close the gape between him and his brother and throwing himself at him, wrapping his arms around Dean’s body as all the pent up emotions flooded from him.

Dean took the weight of his brother and crushed him to his chest as Sam sobbed into his neck. He couldn’t stop the tears now as they ran down his face and into Sam’s hair. He had waited over eight years to do this and he never wanted to let go. Dean's heart swelled so much his chest hurt and his soul finally felt whole again. He had always known something was missing ever since he had left and now he knew what it was, his little brother’s love. Time seemed to stand still as they sat in the middle of the forest letting go of the baggage they had been carrying. Dean knew this was a giant step for them in the right direction to becoming brothers again and for that bond of brotherhood that they once shared to return. Rumbling sounded off in the distance and Dean knew the storm must be coming back around. He pulled both of them up from the rock as he listened intently and studied their surroundings seeing the wind picking up and the leaves being blown around deciding they needed to leave.

“C’mon bro, it’s gonna rain again and you don’t need to get soaked. Little Wolf would have my hide if you got sick.” Dean finally told Sam as he loosened his grip enough for them to walk side by side with his arm around Sam’s shoulders holding him close. 

“Little Wolf? Are you and her...You know...Together?” Sam asked cautiously.

“No, nothing like that.” Dean chuckled. “She doesn’t play well with others sometimes and hasn’t found anyone to her liking.”

“Shadow said you guys were family now, is that true?”

“Yes, they're as much my family as you are, so yes they’re your family too.”

“And Shadow said there’s one I’ve not met?”

“That would be Trace; he’s the jokester of the group, so you gotta watch him. He means well, but sometimes he doesn’t know when to stop.” Dean chuckled. “Little Wolf usually puts him in his place when he starts getting out of hand.”

“Do you wanna know what happened after you left and why I was in Mexico?” Sam asked quietly.

“Only if you want to tell me.” Dean replied in a gentle voice. “If you need to talk about it, if it will help you in healing and coming to terms with stuff, then I’m there for you bro, just say the word. No pressure, it‘s your decision.” 

“Yeah, I think it might help, but not today okay? I just wanna enjoy having my big brother back.” Sam answered knowing there would be plenty of time to talk about that. He was glad Dean wasn’t insisting on knowing all those things right now. 

“Whatever you need, I’m won’t be going anywhere, you’re stuck with me.” Dean said smiling at his brother as he squeezed his shoulder lovingly. 

“We might better pick the pace up.” Sam said hearing drops of rain hitting the leaves in the trees overhead. He let go of Dean and they both started moving faster through the trees as they caught a glimpse of the cabin up ahead. He didn’t protest when Dean jerked him off his feet and ran for the cabin to beat the rain.

spn

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months as the brothers learned how to be brothers again. There were many serious and gut wrenching talks that gave Sam the motivation to start to heal. Dean never pushed or pressed him during these times knowing Sam needed to do this on his own and let him always initiate the talks. Sam talked a little about what happened after he left but wasn't ready to tell him everything. He learned that Sam didn't run away, he got a call from a friend of his in Lawrence who was in trouble and went to help him. Sam had gone to the cops and agreed to help them take the gang down, but someone leaked it and he was caught and that's how he ended up in Mexico. Dean made a mental note to have Trace check that out because someone was going to pay for that. It was not something he could let slide now that he knew the truth. 

Dean worked hard on getting some weight back on Sam and made sure he ate healthy. The others would visit every other day until the rental time was up on their cabin and then they moved in with Dean and Sam for the last two months of the rental time he had left. The team treated Sam like the kid brother they never had and of course spoiled him. Sam was learning what it was like to have family again and to have people who cared about him. He could feel that lost special brotherly bond from his childhood growing stronger with each passing day and cherished every minute he got to spend with his brother.

Trace found out he liked computers and started teaching him how to program them and to set up algorithms to quickly search out data. Shadow taught him how to pick locks and began training him in hand to hand fighting. Nitro refused to show him explosives and instead taught him first aid and how to handle a knife and throwing stars. Dean sat back and took it all in as the leader of their pack. After some begging, he finally started teaching Sam how to break down a gun and to show it the respect it deserved. He wouldn’t teach him to shoot until he mastered the ins and outs of the hand gun and rifle. Dean was already planning ahead for their future and with Bobby’s help was starting to make it happen.

spn

It was a hot day in their last month into their stay at the cabin and Sam was staring to look like himself again. He had gained some of the weight back and was training with the guys to build up strength and stamina and they were not going easy on him. They put him through vigorous training regimes and never let him give up when it got tough and he didn‘t think he could make it. It was a free day and Sam, Shadow, and Trace were tossing around a Frisbee in the yard while Dean sat on the deck doing some accounting. Nitro was inside starting lunch and baking a couple of pies for dessert that night.

“Hey I almost forgot.” Trace popped up. “I got us something in the car.” he said heading around front to the Dodge Charger they had gotten from Bobby. He returned a few minutes later with a bag and looked around for the garden hose.

“What you got there?” Sam asked looking over his shoulder curious to see what he was so excited about. 

“Found these in town last time I went on a supply run. Thought we could have a little competition.” Trace grinned with mischief. He turned on the water and pulled out some water balloons. They were made where all you had to do was fill the hose and it filled twenty water balloons at one time.

“Cool! I’ll get a couple of buckets.” Sam cried happily heading for the deck in search of some. “Dean you seen those buckets that was here earlier?”

“They're over by the grill why?” 

“Nothing.” Sam said innocently as he snagged the plastic buckets and headed back around the corner grinning from ear to ear.

Dean watched him disappear and knew something was up and he might better be prepared. There was no telling what those three were getting into, especially if Trace was involved. He put away his computer and waited patiently for them to come back to see what antics they going to do. He didn’t have to wait long when screaming and yelling and running bodies appeared from around the house and water balloons were flying everywhere. All three guys were drenched in no time and decided Dean needed to join in on the fun and volleyed water balloons his way. He was smart enough to expect the attack and got out of the way but Nitro, who had just stepped out on the deck and toward Dean was bombarded by them soaking her from head to foot.

“Oh shit! Run for you life!” Trace yelled when he saw them hit Nitro who was frozen in place. He snagged one bucket still partly full of balloons as he ran by it.

“Run Kid! Run! Crap we're dead meat!” Shadow hissed pushing Sam in front of him knowing they were in a heap of trouble. They headed around the corner of the house hoping to hide before she exacted her revenge.

“Permission to kill some dumb asses Gunny.” Nitro growled out as she wiped the water from her scowling face.

“Killing no, maiming’s ok, just no broken bones.” he laughed as she stomped off the porch and grabbed the other bucket still half full of balloons and headed in the other direction to ambush the three targets. “Check my pies in twenty minutes if I’m not back.” she called over her shoulder and disappeared. 

Dean sat back, closed his eyes and listened to the stillness waiting for the revenge to start. Finding the prey, sneaking up on the prey, waiting for the right moment and BOOM! Attack with all you’ve got. Yelling from the front of the cabin suddenly broke the silence and by the sound of it Nitro was getting her revenge. He smirked when she howled her victory. He chuckled to himself just happy he wasn’t involved when suddenly two overfilled balloons were thrown, one after the other, hitting him square in the chest, exploding and drenching his face and body with ice cold water. He looked up while wiping his face to see a grinning Sam doing a victory dance and looking proud of himself for his perfect aim and was fisting the sky with his accomplishment of getting his big brother until their eyes met, freezing him in mid dance and he saw the you‘re gonna pay for that look. Without hesitation, he took off running, yelling for Nitro since he was sure she was the only one who could protect him from his brother. Dean came out of the chair like a bullet and started to chase him around the house toward the others out for his own revenge.

The End

 

Epilogue

 

One Year Later

The time flew by and a year had passed since Dean rescued his brother from a Mexican cartel prison. With Bobby’s help, since he knew the owner, he purchased fifty acres of land beside the salvage yard and built a five bedroom, three and a half bath home for the ragtag family that they had formed. It was a one story structure with steel reinforced doors and impact resistance windows. He had a secret room where their weapons were stored and had hidden nooks throughout the house that allowed quick access if they ever needed it. There were hidden cameras and motion detectors positioned around the area that Trace had programmed to alert their cells if an intruder tried to break in. It had a nice workout area, large family room, game room, library/computer room, dining room and large kitchen with a breakfast nook. He made sure the bedrooms were spacious and had walk in closets and the bathrooms were spacious. The house was furnished with comfortable furniture, modern kitchen appliances and hardwood floors throughout. There was as deck that ran across the back of the place, with part of it screened in with a grill and picnic table and part of it was open with lounge chairs scattered around it. 

There was another building nearby for the business he started that the others were co-owners in, Smoke Inc. Dean had an indoor shooting range and archery space built and training grounds on ten acres of the land for law enforcement and those who wanted to learn survival skills. He was very careful to screen the civilians who wanted to take the program to be sure there were no right winged facets or possible terrorist trying to get training. The price was high which scared off a lot of the wantta be pretenders. Trace, Shadow, Nitro were the trainers and they didn’t pull any punches. Dean oversaw the operations and kept the books and would work with those in law enforcement who wanted sniper training. If you made it through their courses you were prepared for about anything. As their reputation grew, more law enforcement agencies contracted with them to set up trainings for their men. Dean didn't really advertise what they had to offer. Their business came by word of mouth that spread through the law enforcement community and into neighboring states. They ran the program eight months out of the year and during the winter months they helped Bobby in the salvage yard. It was like letting kids loose in a candy store when Shadow and Trace helped with the crushing of vehicles to sell as scrap metal. They fought over who got to drive the fork lift and who crushed the cars. Dean made Sam referee the pair and if they didn’t listen to him, he threatened to send Nitro out to oversee their work.

Smoke, Inc. also was a consulting agency for protection issues or on occasions helped out some law enforcement agencies with some of the more hard to solve cases when asked. They would usually only worked four or five cases a year, but it was always the most gruesome ones that drew their attention. He never accepted money for their help, but did allow them to buy meals and pay for hotel rooms. When they were away, Dean made Sam stay with Bobby to be sure he was safe. It didn’t matter he was an adult, Dean wasn’t taking any chances with something happening while he was gone. Which turned out to be a good thing when several thieves tried to break into the business to steal whatever they could, mainly guns and was met by pissed off scrap yard owner with a double barreled shotgun, a tough as nails little brother with a rifle and three very well trained guard dogs who were chomping to tear into them if they made any sudden moves. Needless to say they were glad when the sheriff got there and took them away. 

Bobby was over every other night for dinner and Nitro made sure he had leftovers to take home with him. He couldn’t be more proud of the brothers and being allowed to be part of their family. When his wife passed away at an early age and they didn’t have any kids, he figured being a father wasn’t in his future. But now he had five kids who called him ‘Pops’ and he couldn’t be prouder of them. With Trace and Sam’s help with creating a website to sell parts from, his business had jumped forty percent in the past six months and he was still getting orders weekly. Whenever he needed help with anything, all he had to do was call Dean and they would be over to help. He didn't know what he had done to deserve this family, but he was happy to be a part of it.

Dean talked Sam into enrolling in college and was going to be starting that fall. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, but was leaning toward either something in computers or medicine or maybe both. Dean laughed and told him he could do whatever he wanted to, he had his whole life ahead of him. Sam continued to train with all of them and was starting to become a worthy opponent. You could of heard his whooping of victory in downtown Sioux Falls when he actually took Dean down for the first time. Of course Dean would never let it slip that he cheated a little and let Sam win, but he did make him work for it. The others all saw it happen but kept that little secret to themselves not wanting to spoil Sam’s victory either. None of them ever left Sam out of whatever they were doing, wanting him to feel the bond of brotherhood they had. Dean told him he would always have him and the rest of the team supporting him, no matter what he decided. They were family and family looked after their own, no matter what.


End file.
